Do I need a "mother of the bride" outfit?

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Actually I'm mother of the groom, does that make a difference?

I struggle with wedding outfits full stop TBH. It always seems to me guests are almost in fancy dress, dressed up as wedding guests rather than themselves. I prefer a summer dress or a suit that I'll wear for other occasions and is more "me".

At all the weddings I've been to recently (I mean in the last 10 years!) the mothers seem to have some sort of dress and coat combo that is very obviously a mother of the bride outfit, probably with shoes from the same fabric.

Can I wear something more "ordinary" without offending the bride and her mother?

It would be something good, I'd spend equivalent money, but on something I actually like.

Joining is as I am MOB in Oct. I bought this dress last year before DD's Nov 20 wedding was cancelled but I now think it is too black. I love that monsoon dress @MadisonAvenue

My Mam wore something more along the lines of the ones you posted for mine and sisters weddings. My mil also did the same for mine.

I'm not really sure who those MoB outfits are aimed at; the ones I've seen are very aging. But it's about making an effort really, it not just being another day. Apparently the MoB gets first dibs on the colour of her outfit and the MoG has to pick something else. Only found this out when my mil asked me to check w. my Mam for her.

@Mumski45

Joining is as I am MOB in Oct. I bought this dress last year before DD's Nov 20 wedding was cancelled but I now think it is too black. I love that monsoon dress *@MadisonAvenue*

I’m sorry but I don’t think that’s right for a wedding at all, you’ll really stick out for the black colour

Yes @ShirleyPhallus I agree. I bought the dress because I like it and DD was happy with it. However I do think it is too black and have changed my mind so still looking.

Apparently the MoB gets first dibs on the colour of her outfit and the MoG has to pick something else. Only found this out when my mil asked me to check w. my Mam for her.
Same here. When MiL asked me what colour my mother had chosen I was confused and said I didn't care what colours they wore. She explained the tradition and I concluded that it sounds like historically mothers of the brides probably wanted everyone to give them attention, but a big neon sign saying "look at me, I gave birth to the bride" would be frowned upon.

OP The dress you linked to is really nice.

My mum got a tailored silver grey suit - trousers and jacket - worn with a white open necked shirt, absolutely killer shoes and statement earrings. She honestly looked amazing and a million miles from the slightly 'mumsy' MOTB outfits it sounds like you're keen to avoid, but also very clearly a step above the rest of the guests. So I guess don't assume you have to go for a dress/skirt/top combo to look 'special'.

[quote Honeybobbin]@MayIDestroyYou I can only assume you're taking the piss. That is the most hideous garment I've ever seen! The second picture looks like something out of a horror film! [/quote]
Each to their own ...

(I honestly wouldn't be seen dead in most of the ghastly stuff the MN hive mind throws up. )

When my son got married last year, I wore a dress and kimono. Put my hair up. No hat. I would have felt so uncomfortable and ridiculous in a traditional mother of the bride/groom outfit.

Expensive but I think that the Roksanda dresses are a fabulous twist on MOB

www.theoutnet.com/en-gb/shop/product/roksanda/dresses/midi-dress/ruffled-two-tone-crepe-midi-dress/9649229528560616

Another vote for a trouser suit - considering this for a wedding myself. www.phase-eight.com/product/cadie-suit-jacket-900984840.html#navAjax=true&is=false&cgid=clothing&sz=60&start=0&isSecondPage=false&prefn1=clothingType&prefv1=Jacket&prefn2=color&prefv2=Pink&pid=900984840&pos=4

My mum wore a floaty maxi dress to my brother’s wedding and looked amazing. The wedding was in Byron bay though. The motb was in traditional attire and also looked lovely. Definitely wear what you feel yourself in!

Alternatively, if you want something easier to wear something like this or one of their silk shirts with some co-ordinating trousers - simultaneously louche and grand.

My mum was in the exact same boat she didn't want a traditional MoB balero style outfit. She felt they were a bit frumpy. We went shopping and got her a gorgeous long gold dress with lots of beading. She's going to get some sort of wrap for the church and a facinator.

We got hers from Debenhams, which I think is still online even if the shops are shutting.

It wasn't this one but similar www.johnlewis.com/adrianna-papell-beaded-embroidered-maxi-gown-taupe-pink/p5279657?sku=239081467&size=6&s_ppc=2dx92700058271119874&tmad=c&tmcampid=2&gclid=Cj0KCQjwvr6EBhDOARIsAPpqUPHdv3SoHAWr2ojtLzlQyTJ3endE7fx0RH4Hil0KgJw8w2SDX_aoJpMaAu63EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

Another Spanish designer. I love the navy and white trouser suit. (Scroll down)

dressini.com/LUIS-CIVIT

Wearable for a wedding and afterwards.

dressydresses.co.uk/product/occasion-wear/mother-of-the-bride/carla-ruiz-96534-patterned-a-line-dress/

I'd go for something like this Ganni dress that you could dress down afterwards.

But it really depends how formal the wedding is and what the weather will be like.

Jumpsuits - not sure of your budget but I've gone for treating yourself!

www.theoutnet.com/en-gb/shop/product/diane-von-furstenberg/jumpsuits/full-length-jumpsuits/rolin-wrap-effect-floral-print-georgette-wide-leg-jumpsuit/46353151654815632

www.theoutnet.com/en-gb/shop/product/alice-plus-olivia/jumpsuits/full-length-jumpsuits/audrie-belted-pleated-crepe-wide-leg-jumpsuit/17476499599302523

www.theoutnet.com/en-gb/shop/product/michael-michael-kors/jumpsuits/cropped-jumpsuits/cropped-belted-georgette-jumpsuit/13452677153132584

www.theoutnet.com/en-gb/shop/product/missoni/jumpsuits/full-length-jumpsuits/wrap-effect-metallic-crochet-knit-wide-leg-jumpsuit/19325877437111908

Loads of others. Very elegant!

Yeah, wear what you like, it's not a rule a mum of the couple has to wear a dress and coat, it just seems to be an idea that's stuck as being 'tasteful for an older woman' since the 90s and not changed for 30 years for some reason!

I’m a bride’s mother in two weeks. The groom’s mother has definitely gone far more dressy than me. The shiny coat and dress things are truly hideous, in my opinion and very ageing. I also dislike being uncomfortable.

I’ve gone with a Bombshell dress in green.

www.bombshellhq.com/collections/dresses/products/emerald-green-silk-confident-3-4-sleeve-dress

No coat or jacket just a huge hat, small bag and shoes. Hat is in suffragette colours so I can wear jewellery that sets it off.

www.hostiehats.co.uk/product/buckingham-dish-hat/

The groom’s mother has gone cream brocade coat, cream fascinator, cream shoes and bag over a pale gold brocade dress. It’s nice, but too dressed up for me. Dressed up as in stiff and uncomfortable, rather than smart.

Wear what you want that is in keeping with the dress code.

@LemonRoses is that your hat?

[quote MadisonAvenue]Personally I’d go for something like this (and with two adult sons in long term relationships it might be something I need to think about pretty soon).

www.monsoon.co.uk/artisan-rosanna-embellished-midi-dress-blue-74186302.html[/quote]
I LOVE this one!

@LemonRoses you are my style icon! I love it! The hat is fabulous!