I am trying to dig myself out of a hole

[Laaaayla]

I’m a mess.

My mental health has been absolutely ravaged by lockdown and work and raising my kids. I’m about three stone overweight. I have no nice clothes to wear and I can’t find any that fit. My face is a mess. I look and feel so tired and puffy I could just cry whenever I look in the mirror.

I have no clothes. My make up looks like face paint. My hair is dire (I haven’t had time to get it cut but I have finally sorted an appointment for this week).

Anyone else in this situation? Can anyone give me some tips on where to even begin with this mess?

I think start with weight, you’ll feel better.

I know it’s easy to say that and it’s tough but I’d recommend something like low carb just to stop sugar cycle - not sure how you eat now though

Also can you exercise? Even if small but often

I have started dyeing my eyebrows at home! Can keep them nice always and very cheaply! And have dug out all my nice face packs and body creams and am using them regularly! Painting toe nails /foot file always cheers me up instead of looking at crusty feet!
Have started on a Vit c face range - skin feeling a bit better!
Haven't gotten far with weight loss but small steps!!

I have a gym membership and it opened last week. Every day I tell my husband today’s the day and my bottle crashes. I don’t even really know why. He keeps saying it’ll make a huge difference to my state of mind but it’s hard.

See these people who always have lovely make up how do they do that? My foundation has stopped sticking to my nose and it looks really red and horrible.

It’s hard because lockdown has been utterly crap and a mind bender.

How about just going to gym for a break and start off really light. Just get into the habit without feeling stressed by the commitment.

Don’t underestimate how much you’ve been through and treat yourself well (is my motto atm)

• start with your diet, what goes into your body shows on the outside. It’s not just about the weight, but eating well will help

Your skin glow, hair etc.

• drink water by the ocean load

• get a good skin routine if you don’t have one already

• a tip I saw on here recently is to only have clothes in “your colours” - so you pick 4 colours you know works for you, and only wear clothes of those colours. I’ve recently gone through my wardrobe and now have skimmed it right down, and everything goes with everything else

• wear clothes that suit your body shape

I know this one seems silly, but I always feel more “put together” when I keep on top of my brows. I have a brow trimmer thing off Amazon that is amazing, and I put a dye on every few weeks. Then just need to pop some tinted moisturiser and mascara on.

Lockdown has ruined my life Marsha. I had a fab life before and now it’s all gone to shit.

And actually I’m one of the lucky ones. My job is a nightmare but at least I still have it. I don’t even know anyone who has had Covid let alone died from it. But the effects of lockdown and working from home and homeschooling/looking after two young kids has completely destroyed my mental health and I have no idea how to pull myself back up

What's worrying you about going to the gym?

I’m just too tired to be honest. I have no energy.

A few weeks ago I started running again and it was awful. I hated it. Didn’t feel safe in the dark (never used to bother me)

Op I feel you and I'm exactly the same. 3 stone to lose and mental health in bits. Single parent to a 3 year old and a teenager.
Watching this thread with interest.
I start walking 20000 steps a day as soon the nursery opened for my 3 year old 2 months ago. Noticed a big difference and started to feel a bit more positive but the Easter holidays here were nearly 3 weeks long and set me back into my bad habits again and I've not bothered again.
It's been a vicious cycle.

Sorry to hear that scotsllb that sounds so hard (are you also a Scottish lawyer because that’s what I am)

My girls are 7 and nearly 4. They’re good girls but god it’s been so hard. I haven’t had time to do much because of work. When I’m not parenting I am working.

Can you exercise at home? I hate gyms and running but I've started doing a 15-20 minute workout from YouTube every day and feel miles better. It also encourages me to drink more water as I have a glass before I start and one during, maybe one after. Have got into a routine! Haven't tackled make up though...

Just wanted to commiserate 😭

Lockdown and homeschooling has done me in too. I look how I feel which is flipping awful. I can't remember the last time I put any make up on. I hope you get your mojo back soon 💐

Yes I found Easter holidays tougher after the last year

When I said I can’t do lockdown again of course I had to no choice but it affected me more than the first one.

I’ve only just kept physical side together with low carb and some running but mentally it’s been really hard

I also put dd in nursery part time which really helped

Do you get much of a break op? So hard I didn’t really work and still found it hard

Baby steps I reckon. Change diet, small exercise, get time to yourself as you can

toominty actually that’s a really good idea. Might get me started off anyway. I’m also going to make an effort to drink more water

I'm in a similar boat. I had DD in December 2019 and was back in my pre pregnancy clothes a week after giving birth. Then I stopped breastfeeding around the first lockdown starting and ate my way to putting on 2 stone!

I started to get myself into a better situation, and then fell off the wagon massively, so I'm getting back on it again now!

I'm calorie counting (using my fitness pal) and trying to cut down on carbs (I'm a carb fiend!) , still having 1 takeaway a week as a treat.
I don't do gyms, but I have bought a weighted hula hoop so try to do 20 mins hula hooping a day (in front of the tv, always multi tasking) I also do you tube work outs when toddler is sleeping

I dye my hair myself anyway, but had it cut last week and felt so much better. I also had my first of 2 microblading sessions for my eyebrows because my brows being "done" makes a huge difference to me (as well as less time filling them in every morning) and I get my nails done every 3 weeks which is a lovely treat, and 1 less task for me.
I stick a face mask on once a week (either when the toddler naps or after she's down for the night) and I'm using better skincare as it's been battered by the lack of vitamin D, shit diet and hormones post DD.

For clothes, I'm still ordering online to try on at home. Buying basics - good jeans, t shirts, sweaters, bras and knickers. Then throw in the odd pretty dress. Some have been a disaster and is clearly lost the plot when ordering, but some have been keepers!

I'm not saying you need all of this, but it's just what I needed to get my backside in gear and feel better about myself.

Well done for getting your hair appointment - good hair makes such a difference and it's instantaneous!

Exercise will help to improve your mood so definitely do try and incorporate some. If you don't feel like you're ready to face the gym, start with walking or jogging - it will do you good, mentally. I promise you will start feeling better immediately. Start with even 10 mins a day and see the difference.

However, don't rely on it to lose weight - you need to look at your diet primarily, in order to slim down. Cutting down on sugar and sticking to 3 sensible meals with no snacking in between did the job for me (though I only had about a stone to lose). Also, if you could handle intermittent fasting, I'd highly recommend it.

Finally, do something nice for yourself and your body. A relaxing bath, exfoliating and moisturising with some nice smelling product always make me feel & look better - same goes for your face. Scrub, face mask and a good moisturiser should make a difference.

In regards to make-up, remember that less is more. How do you apply foundation? Do you use a primer? I found that my face looks so much better since I switched to using blending sponges and primer (but perhaps you're already doing that?).

If you want to implement a change, first step is to realise that you need to make a change and recognise the issue - which you have done :-) All the best, OP xx

You've had lots of good advice here. All I would add is that you should try to get outdoors for a walk every day, even if it's only for 10 minutes.

Build new goals on top of that, but never let go of getting outdoors every day. It will make a big difference to your state of mind.

How about getting some of The Ordinary skincare and make up? Its great and so well priced. I think they have a questionnaire thingy on their website and it will suggest the things for you to guy. I love their foundation, its light and covers well. I just find it easy so thought I'd recommend. You've got your hair appointment booked so that will make you feel better too!
There is a Facebook group called Style Me Happy Community and its very helpful getting to know what colours suit you and about body shape.
Hope you feel better soon

I think you have taken a positive step by booking in an appointment. You will feel slightly better after just like we do when we tick one item off our yo do list . I think we all are still suffering the impacts of lockdown and it's difficult. My parents (not in uk currently) are in a place where covid is hitting quite hard. I am so worried about them all the time and that does takebup most of my energy. I have been telling myself to step out for a walk or a run but just don't have the energy to do it. Ifeel tired and exhausted.

It's working for me, I am a creature of habit so once I get into a routine it's good. And 15-20 minutes feels achievable and not daunting. There are even a few 10 minute routines if I'm really not feeling up to much. Following this thread for make up tips! I can't wear foundation any more as it feels too heavy but my nose is a bit red and shiny without it...

You've had lots of good advice here. All I would add is that you should try to get outdoors for a walk every day, even if it's only for 10 minutes.

Build new goals on top of that, but never let go of getting outdoors every day. It will make a big difference to your state of mind

Totally agree with this. Think you next take it step by step and this is definitely a great first step.

How's your diet too? If it's not great could you try one healthier meal eat week and see how you feel afterwards? A Pinch of Nom or Joe Wickes both have some really good recipes if you have a look through.

@Laaaayla

Lockdown has ruined my life Marsha. I had a fab life before and now it’s all gone to shit.

And actually I’m one of the lucky ones. My job is a nightmare but at least I still have it. I don’t even know anyone who has had Covid let alone died from it. But the effects of lockdown and working from home and homeschooling/looking after two young kids has completely destroyed my mental health and I have no idea how to pull myself back up

I feel your pain and have similar issues.

I got some lavender oil and a mint gel thing. I use the lavender oil in a carrier oil after my shower. The mint gel to try to perk up while working.

For me it has to be small steps. I put lipstick on the other day.

Like you, I want to feel better but I think it's better to start with little treats like scent, rather than things that feel like punishment.

Another Scottish lawyer here 😃

Glad you’re getting your hair done. I’d also make sure you do a good skincare regime every morning and evening / I use dermalogica products, including a gentle exfoliant. For makeup, try the Nars primer for a nice glowy look and for lasting foundation. Their foundation is good too: sheer glow. Get your brows done, and wear lipstick every day.

And just decide you’re going to the gym tomorrow for twenty minute walk on treadmill. Making a start will get you feeling much better.