Should I embrace white hair at 47?

[Silverparting]

I found my first grey at 19. Have naturally dark brown hair, eyes and very pale skin. Dark brown eyebrows.

I've been dyeing my hair for 30 years. For a long time I've gone to the hairdresser for a number 6 permanent dark brown base, coupled with a blonde tsection every five weeks, cost £80. It looks great for a week, goes brassy and the greys come after two weeks.

In lockdown I've been dyeing my hair with Majirel a 7.3 in a bid to go lighter. I have to do my roots every two weeks! Even then there's a white spot at the back and I don't love the colour.

I'd say my hair is white and I am toying with the idea of growing it out, but then adding blonde highlights once it is all white, if I don't like it.

I have just started Curly Girl and was amazed to see some great results after a week. It's made me enjoy my hair again.

I'm so fed up of dyeing my hair every two weeks and not loving it.

Has anybody gone white, not just grey, in their 40s? I think if I was slate grey it might be easier.

Attached is a pic of my blorange and root growth after less than two weeks. This was pre curly girl so ignore the frizz. Have NC as still embarrassed about hair.

Ooh this is the second thread I’ve seen on ditching dye. I’m currently going from brunette to grey, high five!

I know two men who ahem dyed their hair they were laughed out of the room by friends. One was italian, the black balding fringe over the ears was hysterical, the other guy dyed hair , grey eyebrows ditto. So do men miss out on the dye jobs we go for monthly, do they worry about being passed over for promotion.

I no longer dye my hair but I'm a few years older. At 47 my hair was probably white but I just kept getting it coloured. About 3 years ago I gave up dyeing my hair and I have found it so liberating for me personally. My hair is white and I now use the John Frieda silver shampoo. If I was a mixture of grey I'm not sure I would have stopped but that's just me. I have some temporary lilac dye in the bathroom cabinet which I take out and look at now and again

Yes @justasking111! I know what you mean. When some men dye their hair, it does look borderline comical. Why then, is it expected to the point where we fear losing our fucking jobs if we DON'T dye our hair? Even if it quite clearly isn't our natural colour anymore. THAT looks normal? But natural hair is so abhorrent we are scared we might lose our jobs if we wear our hair its natural colour? Madness. Not a jab at people who dye their hair till they're 90 for all I care. Whatever makes you happy. My issue is when it becomes ABNORMAL to have grey hair which is your NATURAL colour! That is nuts isn't it, when you think about it?

I worked for a guy who came into the office with his salt and pepper dyed the darker colour all over. His business partner took one look at him and burst out laughing. Lots of male actors and TV presenters dye their hair, partly because it is said to look better on screen but I do wonder whether part of it is to do with continuing to be perceived as suitable for certain types of role.

Just read this article with Justine Bateman on aging, specifically not getting plastic surgery here

I have the same natural colour. Cut all the dyed bits out at 49. Mine is silver and I love it. Will never go back. I get loads of compliments on it. The condition is also better. Go for it - you can always colour it again if you don’t like it!

Needless to say (?), I love that interview! She is bang on. It is a scheme. We are being set up to fail. Told we have to stay young by spending a fucking fortune on our looks, when, guess what? We could have spent that on our pensions. We could have spent that time working on our careers or something else. We STILL do not look 35 at 50, no matter what we do to ourselves in the pursuit of eternal youth. We can play by all the 'rules' and STILL be lower earners than our male counterparts, with less in savings, more caring responsibilities and less influence. And who profits the most from us spending what little money we may have on our appearance? Us? No. I would be willing to bet that, ultimately, more men profit from sales of makeup, hair products, control underwear, diet shakes etc, than women. So that we can look acceptable... to men? Seems like a bit of a set up to me.

With the caveat that yes, I know some people genuinely get pleasure out of doing their hair and makeup etc etc. And yes, some people are genuinely terrified of not keeping their looks as they feel they may even lose their jobs if they don't!

And yes, I know men can suffer from the same, cynical marketing; that they aren't good enough without x, y or z and that men at an individual level aren't consciously participating in a conspiracy against women. Before anyone jumps up and down

Here's my post hair salon hair! It's actually a bit blonder than the pic looks - a real grey/white/blonde mix. I've always been short, so 2 fingers up to the judgers.

Hairdresser was saying that after the 1st lockdown loads of women embraced the grey; some have gone back to dying since but many haven't. He says this time it's a real 50/50. In other words, we all do what's best for us!

@GertrudeTheGreat that's true, the more people who push back the boundaries the better.

Just pondering the connection between women's financial independence and their freedom to be grey! What if financial independence gave us the power to be ourselves, but there's a fincial penalty to being grey. I'll mull over it! But not forever. 🍷

Justine Bateman comes across really sound. 🍷

@Puffalicious

Here's my post hair salon hair! It's actually a bit blonder than the pic looks - a real grey/white/blonde mix. I've always been short, so 2 fingers up to the judgers.

Hairdresser was saying that after the 1st lockdown loads of women embraced the grey; some have gone back to dying since but many haven't. He says this time it's a real 50/50. In other words, we all do what's best for us!

Your hair looks a really lovely colour! Could I also ask where you got that top from? I’m sure I’ve seen the print before and really wanted it!

Sometimes there is quite a bit of pressure to go grey amongst women

Why should there be any pressure, from men OR women, about their looks?

Am not yet grey at 49, but everybody thinks I dye it anyway. I have been “complimented” on being vain enough to do the dye job myself in lockdown

Ah well, I’ll soon go grey anyway I’m sure

Until then I accept being judged, ironically mainly by women

Puff that looks great. Lovely condition.

Juliet yes, loving the blues on you, but you have such an elegant face that you'd look good in anything.

Puppy love that colour silver and it works so well with your hair style.

I can't unsee it now, in the same way I see Hollywood's leading men paired up with much younger partners on screen (rarely the other way round) I'm now looking at films, newsreaders, supermarket queues and seeing that men are owning their grey/white, but so many women are dyeing their hair like me. A man would not start a thread like this, asking permission.

This makes me want to kick back too. I'm not sure I can go cold turkey, but loved the silver fringe pictures on Carolyn, so hoping to do a blend until it grows out completely.

I don't like my fake orange and I don't like the reasons I insist on doing it (deep down it is because this is what is 'expected'). The shock and horror that the worst mistake a woman could make is to have grey hair isn't helped when Eva or Davina promote their latest dye on TV.

I embraced the silver over a year ago. Regrets? Nope. I get loads of compliments. I put a little purple shampoo through it to keep icey tones. I do actually like it and I am so glad to be freed from the dyeing merry-go-round. I went cold turkey and had the dreaded line of growing out quite dark hair on to grey. I managed by applying powder colour to it until I couldn't get away with it anymore. Then i just tied it up mostly. Then the first lockdown happened and it grew out quite well. Had some of the colour chopped out in a kind of choppy bob. Hairdresser was amazing and she layered it so that it looked like highlights. Lockdown 2 and my silver hair is practically all my hair.

I'm 38 and stopped dyeing my hair last March, so 13 months now. My hair was dark brown and it was difficult for a while with the stark contrast but I was curious and also wanted to see it through as my hair started to break with all the dye. I'm pretty happy with how mine looks although I had to deal with some personal comments from people (mainly women!) older than me who obviously felt bad about themselves and needed to make themselves feel better by telling me how awful it looked - we have all the choices available to us, if you want to dye then do it, if you want to be natural then go for it - we should all just be ourselves.

You look lovely @sandybeaches74 and look younger than your age to me!

I love your hair Sandy
I've read a few posts by women who've had some rude comments from CFs about their grey

I thought of another grey look I like. This is the actress who plays Carol in The Walking Dead.

itsallhere thanks! The top was from Sainsbury^s last year, so nothing exotic. I love William Morris prints.

I can't seem to attach the photo.

I was travelling in south east Asia for 7 weeks just before lockdown, decided that my brownish red with grey parting hair was awful as every photo was me with it scrunched up in a messy bun. In Vietnam DH and i both went into a salon and using a mix of mime, photo on my phone and a tiny bit of english he got his sheared and i got a very short stylish crop which despite being fat and fifty made me look years younger. The dye faded a bit and when i got home i bleached it all out and put on a grey dye. Had it cut after first lockdown and apart from a few bits of greige on the ends its nearly all grey with loads of different shades and silvery bits, the front has a bit of pure white and i have no hairstyle just now as its grown in lockdown. Its past my ears and i am aiming for a short sharp inverted bob when its long enough for a cut. I have found loads of products that add a depth or a hint of colour, I've been pastel pink, lilac and have used hair chalks to give colour to the ends or fringe and its fun. A really pale colour can be toned with a purple shampoo. I use bleach London smoky grey as i prefer a slightly darker tone. My friends all love it and said its lifted my skin and eyes. I still have dark brows and its taken me ages to like it as its such a difference, there are days when i’m tired or hungover with no make up and it not styled in any way that i go urgh i look old but when i make an effort i think it looks good. I am looking forward to it growing longer so i can a sharp cut i think then I will feel even better. Go for it op as a pp said you can always go back to the dye.

Thanks Step as all my family go white, I'm fairly confident mine will be white. I like the idea of a slate grey though, so it's good to hear that you can play around with dyes, much easier than I can with a darker base.

I'm quite intrigued as to what sort of grey I'll go. My colouring is totally different to my parents. My mum started off ginger and has just turned brown and I probably have more grey at 41 than she has at 71, even though I don't have a lot.

Here you go

@Puffalicious

itsallhere thanks! The top was from Sainsbury^s last year, so nothing exotic. I love William Morris prints.

Thanks for the reply. It looks lovely on you, but im surprised you said Sainsbury’s, it looks a lot more expensive!