Should I embrace white hair at 47?

[Silverparting]

I found my first grey at 19. Have naturally dark brown hair, eyes and very pale skin. Dark brown eyebrows.

I've been dyeing my hair for 30 years. For a long time I've gone to the hairdresser for a number 6 permanent dark brown base, coupled with a blonde tsection every five weeks, cost £80. It looks great for a week, goes brassy and the greys come after two weeks.

In lockdown I've been dyeing my hair with Majirel a 7.3 in a bid to go lighter. I have to do my roots every two weeks! Even then there's a white spot at the back and I don't love the colour.

I'd say my hair is white and I am toying with the idea of growing it out, but then adding blonde highlights once it is all white, if I don't like it.

I have just started Curly Girl and was amazed to see some great results after a week. It's made me enjoy my hair again.

I'm so fed up of dyeing my hair every two weeks and not loving it.

Has anybody gone white, not just grey, in their 40s? I think if I was slate grey it might be easier.

Attached is a pic of my blorange and root growth after less than two weeks. This was pre curly girl so ignore the frizz. Have NC as still embarrassed about hair.

There are a few free apps where you can download a photo and try on a virtual hair colour and/or style. Might be helpful to give you a general idea

I don’t dye my roots, I use spray on root cover that blends in the grey so I’m not dyeing my hair any more often than every couple of months.

Have a look here for some women who have taken the plunge ..
www.theguardian.com/fashion/2021/apr/07/own-your-grey-hair-and-be-powerful-women-on-no-longer-dyeing-their-hair
I personally think they all look at least as good as they did with the dye

You should try it. If you don't like it you can colour it. At least you will know if you like it or not.

I've gone down a YouTube worm hole.

What strikes me is how liberating it can be.

I feel like I'm dyeing my hair to please others/society, when it is a major pain.

I think it is terribly aging.
I am the same age as you as the grey coming through during lockdown just looked awful. I bunged a box dye on and instantly looked better.

Every single woman in that guardian article looked better in the before pictures. Every single one.

@Coffeepot72

No, you’re 47, not 87!! 😃

But it's her natural hair. She'll be 47 whatever her hair colour.

@Antiqueanniesmagiclanternshow

I think it is terribly aging. I am the same age as you as the grey coming through during lockdown just looked awful. I bunged a box dye on and instantly looked better.

This sounds exactly like my mother in law who is horrified that I am going grey and not dying it in my 30s. She is nearly 80 and genuinely thinks that no one knows she dyes her hair jet black. So much anxiety about looking 'old'. I am how old I am so it doesn't matter what others think I am.

If you're on FB look at Grombre UK, The Silver Revolution, Going Gorgeously Gray and the Silver Circle.

Every single woman in that guardian article looked better in the before pictures. Every single one.

I disagree.
I think we're conditioned to immediately and almost subconsciously assume grey hair is "bad".

I said this on the other thread but I have no desire to look younger, I'm 52 why would I want to look 10 years younger? What benefits is there to looking younger?

I don't think I'm fooling anybody about my age with my hair. It's obvious I dye it as I'm grey

If I didn't have to keep doing roots at 2 weeks, five weeks at best at the salon, then I might not be so tired of it all.

It seems crazy that I'm putting strong chemicals on my hair every fortnight.

The difference natural hair and dyed is the variations of colour, you're not getting that from a box dye.

It seems crazy that I'm putting strong chemicals on my hair every fortnight.

It isn't crazy that you do it. It is crazy that you feel obligated to do it. Crazy shit. It's almost as if the people selling us said chemicals want us to spend our time and money on stuff we don't even enjoy doing or having... because we HAVE to...or else we might look OLD and that's the worst thing ever apparently.

Well, I've always had blonde hair, and then years of highlighting and long summers abroad, it basically went white every summer anyway. Now I haven't had it highlighted for over a year, and it actually looks the same. What a waste of time and money all those years!

It's great. I also don't wear make-up. Watches as several posters faint.

The worst thing I have ever seen, was my DM. Who piled on thick make-up all her life, and dyed her fair a determined brown until her 90's. She looked awful, a caricature. She had been brought up to believe that looks were everything, she was a pretty sad person actually, and was still maintaining that she was attractive in those last years.

Probably coloured (pun), my opinion of basing too much pride on looking young. She was horrified when I didn't dye my hair. My three brothers however, also same colouring, and older, were always held up as mature, good looking, sexy, older men .

I was naturally very dark haired. Got my first greys at about 18. Coloured my hair from my early 20s. When I was a couple of years younger than you are now I'd had enough. My roots would show within a couple of weeks at most. I started getting a lighter base colour with a couple of different shades of highlights - the hairdresser used hi lift instead of bleach as it worked better. Anyway, I grew the dye out - eventually stopped the base colour and just had the highlights then stopped the highlights.

It has absolutely been liberating. My hair is naturally darker towards the back and underneath. I'm greyer than my mother who's in her late 70s. I'm not the least bit bothered about that. My face, skin, clothes, etc all show I'm not an old woman. My hair colour is absolutely right for my skin tone. I've also had loads of compliments from people about it. I look back on photos of it coloured and it looks obviously dyed, although I didn't think so at the time.

One other thing: you might think your hair is white, but you're probably comparing only the roots on top. You might be surprised by what you actually having with the dye. If you don't like it dye free there are lots of options as to what to do instead without being committed to overall colour, etc.

NerrSnerr. We seem to have the same mothers ! . Definitely a generation thing.

I am so glad I grew the colour out before Covid too - at least I only need a good haircut now, I'm not worrying about my roots!

My mother in law went white in her 20s. You can rock it.

@Antiqueanniesmagiclanternshow

Every single woman in that guardian article looked better in the before pictures. Every single one.

Well I guess "beauty" is in the eye of the beholder but I thought in soem their skin looked different, or their eyes stood out more. I think we are conditioned just to assume grey hair = old, and old = unattractive. My hairdresser recently went for a very short chic cut and from dyed brown to grey - she looks awesome!

I've had people ask who does my hair because they love it then look horrified that it's natural grey and not dyed grey

It's great. I also don't wear make-up. Watches as several posters faint.

I have almost given up make up and it's fantastic. I still have a small make up bag with a few things in it...I will take the plunge and get rid of it soon. They have made enough money out of telling me I'm ugly without their products*.

• I know some people truly get joy out of playing with make up. That's quite different. What I object to is being expected to wear makeup because I'm a woman. Balls to that.

I saw this transformation online of a fellow 47 year old and thought I might try something like this:

I work with a woman in her 60's who dyes her hair very dark brown. She usually has white roots after 2 weeks and shes sick of dyeing it, its in terrible condition and way too dark for her skin tone. But her husband doesn't want her to stop dyeing it because she'll "look old."
Of course he has a head of pure white hair