Should I embrace white hair at 47?

[Silverparting]

I found my first grey at 19. Have naturally dark brown hair, eyes and very pale skin. Dark brown eyebrows.

I've been dyeing my hair for 30 years. For a long time I've gone to the hairdresser for a number 6 permanent dark brown base, coupled with a blonde tsection every five weeks, cost £80. It looks great for a week, goes brassy and the greys come after two weeks.

In lockdown I've been dyeing my hair with Majirel a 7.3 in a bid to go lighter. I have to do my roots every two weeks! Even then there's a white spot at the back and I don't love the colour.

I'd say my hair is white and I am toying with the idea of growing it out, but then adding blonde highlights once it is all white, if I don't like it.

I have just started Curly Girl and was amazed to see some great results after a week. It's made me enjoy my hair again.

I'm so fed up of dyeing my hair every two weeks and not loving it.

Has anybody gone white, not just grey, in their 40s? I think if I was slate grey it might be easier.

Attached is a pic of my blorange and root growth after less than two weeks. This was pre curly girl so ignore the frizz. Have NC as still embarrassed about hair.

Here's my hair using the CGM, one week in.

Your hair is lovely. I'm not sure I'd be ready for white hair at 47 because I think it would be ageing but plenty will disagree with me and you could always dye it again if you don't like it.

No, you’re 47, not 87!! 😃

Yes I would do it. I stopped dying mine two years ago at 46. Was dying it dark brown but lighter than natural (excluding the grey). Stopped dying and had it cut into a pixie. I look a lot better and have been told so by others. I don't look older, I just look my age and that's fine. It's incredibly liberating.

Thanks. I'm on the fence.
It's exhausting having to dye my hair every two weeks and it's getting harder and harder as I go whiter.

Some colleagues only have to get their hair highlighted every four to six months, but even when I have highlights, it's every five weeks.

Wondering if there is a half way house with platinum highlights on my naturally white base, but needed less often?

I would.

I don't know if I'm grey, because there is SO MUCH bleach and dye in my hair 😩. I am growing it out. I never used to dye it. I started last spring, just before lockdown and fuck me, it is a pain. The first time I had it done in a salon and it took hours, which I honestly found, for me, a ludicrous length of time to spend sitting in a salon. After that, I've used a few box dyes to keep on top of it, but I'm vowing off it now...I think.

Not sure I buy into the notion of women looking "too old" with their natural hair. They look their age surely? It's THEIR hair!

Anyway, each to their own blah blah, but yes, I'd grow it out in your circumstances. What are YOU getting out of having it done every few weeks? What value is it adding to YOUR life and happiness? If it's nothing then stop it.

I'm 37 fwiw. Pretty sure there are greys in my hair, just unseen at present.

I think your hair in the 2nd posting looks lovely. Looks good condition and I like the colour. It does look darker at the ends as opposed to on the top of your head, so presume this will become more noticeable as length between colourings increases.
But you have the investment of doing it every 2 weeks which you say you don't like?
I'd recommend you speak to your colourist at your salon, be really honest about what you want, what you don't like now and see what they suggest. Mention the brassiness, am sure they can do/suggest something for that. Then you'll have what you want, but with less regular time investment.
There is hardly any white that I see. I think with your colouring they will pass as blonde highlights (unless someone is looking close up, but who really looks that closely?!)
Maybe go for half head highlights, so your natural colour blends in with the new colours?
You prob don't even know what your true natural colour is now.
If you stopped colouring you won't go white overnight, it will be gradual. I think your hair will look great whether you colour it or whether you let it all fade away naturally. Just wear a good lipstick!
(I am also 47 and have been having highlights at the salon for years,. Last colour was Oct! Everything has blended in and I could just stop colouring altogether, however I prefer to have some colour so will go back when they open. I thought my hair was white, however with this regrowth i see it is white and grey and that it does blend in with the colour and that the white looks light, not 'white' . I always have the half head done so there is always some natural hair there, whether that be white, grey or mid brown).

Good luck, but my view is talk to your colourist and be really clear on what you like and don't like. They can do so much with hair now, though of course this is a cost investment.

I will not go grey for many years, though at 64 I have some grey areas, fortunatel uner my fringe and around the hairline where it doesn't show next. If you are undecided what you really need is a great hairdresser who will go through the options. There is a very strident brigade on MN at the moment who insist that grey hair is liberating, is stylish and is best. It is fo;r some people but for me it just makes me look old and with a head of dull hair.
I opt for highlights as they add enough colour to keep up my spirits but I don't mind the odd few grey hairs being visible.
See what your hairdresser says, they might be able to zhuzh up the grey with highlights or a special rinse to make it look lovely, or a sort of blode compromise might suit. They might even be able to find you a hairstyle that has so much impact the grey doesn't make the statement for you. I work in a team of 37 women, mostly 45+ two recentl announced their aim to go grey and stay grey but i've noticed they are both sporting newly coloured locks this week!

I think a lot of women are rightly questioning why they are expected to spend their time and money having their hair dyed. Sometimes huge amounts of money and huge lengths of time fairly frequently.

Having natural hair at any age is definitely not for everyone. In fact, ime, it is poo pooed by many people, as if it is just abhorrent to not want to dye it . "Grey hair adds precisely ten years to anyone over 30", "ugh MOUSY hair colour. You need a few highlights". It's the hair you were born with. Dye it if you want, but it shouldn't be the expectation or seemed some sort of crazy notion not to. But nobody is going to take your dye away, so panic not about the 'strident brigade' of Mumsnetters . You do you boo!

Your hair is lovely!

I would give it a try and see how you get on, both with the colour and the pleasure of low maintenance hair.

If you hate it, you can always start dying again.

Thanks all. That's a really good point about what I get out my hair colour at the moment. Nothing.

In my second picture the hair at the bottom is darker. The remnants of the no6 dye. It's lighter on top due to white and me doing roots every fortnight.

I think once salons open I will get some advice. If I could combine some of my whites (and not panic if they are on show) with some blondes then it may be a halfway house.
It still means bleach, but potentially less of it and maybe less frequently.

I decided at your age to have highlights put in toblend the grey as it came through, I also found in the summer my hair started to go naturally lighter. We went travelling for a year, think backpacking, and couldn’t afford to have hair done, discovered didn’t need highlights anymore I had gone white.
Embrace it.

I actually really like that brown! Normally I’m all for letting things go naturally but in your case the brown looks great.

I'm 48 and white - I stopped dyeing at 38 though as I got so fed up of dyeing every 2 weeks. I love it, and get loads of random compliments about it

I'm 34 and I'm greying.

A girl at my office went from brown shoulder length hair to short grey hair - she looked like an old lady by the time she'd finished. She's a keen swimmer so it all works a lot better for her, but it's not flattering.

I’ve just turned 50 and am silvery-white. Stopped coloring my hair last year during lockdown, and had my hairdresser put very pale highlights through to blend the old and new growth once salons reopened. Also went as short as I could bear (chin length). My skin is still in good nick so I wouldn’t say it has made me look older, and I have had a great many compliments on the colour. The condition is also miles better and it’s easier to style because of that.

There's lots of us from the strident brigade on this thread

Thanks Coco, I will take a look.
I was hoping everybody would think my current colour was too blorangey.
I come from a family of women who insist on never going grey, and they are horrified by my suggestion My mother said having curls were old fashioned, yet I love my hair wavy and I'm no longer killing it with straighteners.

This is a minefield!

@Coffeepot72

No, you’re 47, not 87!! 😃

So sick of this attitude, that it’s only 87 year old women who have white hair. Plenty of women go grey in their 30’s or younger and it’s so depressing that what is natural for them, is labelled as something that only elderly people should have. How do you think that makes these women feel?? Nevermind the patriarchy, when women say this shit about each other, we don’t stand a chance

And most women have significant grey by 47. Not all of these look younger if they dye their hair, they often look 47 with dyed hair.

I'm in the same predicament at 43! I'm having to dye my roots every 2/3 weeks and it's getting on my nerves. I went blonde last year to try and blend in the greys but I wasn't sure. Every time I looked in the mirror I was shocked, even 6 months on. It just didn't suit me. DH wasn't keen either so I went darker towards Christmas and now back at square one with the roots.

I actually sent my hairdresser some colours yesterday, when we were discussing my appt, to see if they'd be achievable - keep my dark-ish base and have some silvery/grey highlights and she said we could do it so I think I'll give that a go and see how I like it.

I've just met a friend for an outside cuppa and she's letting her grey come through (same age as me) and she looks great.

I came here to say what @itsallhere said, but they've said it so well!
Such ageist misogyny to say that you "shouldn't" have grey hair if you're under a certain age.

@thedevilinablackdress

I came here to say what *@itsallhere* said, but they've said it so well! Such ageist misogyny to say that you "shouldn't" have grey hair if you're under a certain age.

Thanks thedevil. It makes me so angry that there’s an age when we’re allowed to look natural (87 in this case apparently) so we have to spend time and money primping and preening whilst our men are called silver foxes in their 30’s or 40’s. It’s misogynistic bullshit and needs calling out. Now if women want to dye their hair, that’s up to them, just don’t do it because idiots say going grey will make you look 10 years older, or “your actual age”. Must look young, must look young...it’s tiring and wearing and quite frankly there’s more to this very short life

My friend has let her hair go grey and it ages her.

As much as we'd like to believe otherwise it does age some people terribly.
Another friend looks great with grey hair and her hair is very short.

People who DO look great with grey hair (Helen Mitren being one good example) have probably had lots done to it in the form of lowlights toners etc.. So they end up a beautiful silvery colour as opposed to the salt and pepper or dirty grey that most of us end up going if we just let our hair 'go grey' They also have a good cut.
Also hair thins as a Woman gets older so a lot of celebs you see with lovely thick looking silvery long hair are likely wearing weaves and or extensions.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you want to go grey and have it look nice, it still needs to be cut well, be in good condition and possibly enhanced with highlights to lift the grey.
It will still require money and maintenance.