Should I embrace white hair at 47?

[Silverparting]

I found my first grey at 19. Have naturally dark brown hair, eyes and very pale skin. Dark brown eyebrows.

I've been dyeing my hair for 30 years. For a long time I've gone to the hairdresser for a number 6 permanent dark brown base, coupled with a blonde tsection every five weeks, cost £80. It looks great for a week, goes brassy and the greys come after two weeks.

In lockdown I've been dyeing my hair with Majirel a 7.3 in a bid to go lighter. I have to do my roots every two weeks! Even then there's a white spot at the back and I don't love the colour.

I'd say my hair is white and I am toying with the idea of growing it out, but then adding blonde highlights once it is all white, if I don't like it.

I have just started Curly Girl and was amazed to see some great results after a week. It's made me enjoy my hair again.

I'm so fed up of dyeing my hair every two weeks and not loving it.

Has anybody gone white, not just grey, in their 40s? I think if I was slate grey it might be easier.

Attached is a pic of my blorange and root growth after less than two weeks. This was pre curly girl so ignore the frizz. Have NC as still embarrassed about hair.

I'm 42 and stopped dying my hair a couple of years ago.
I'm pure white at the front and dark grey at the back. I've gained my curl back and it feels so much healthier.
I still wear make up and "young" clothes so I look my age which I'm happy about.
It's quite liberating not having to dye my hair every few weeks and it inevitably would turn orangey anyway.
It's funny but the most comments I get suggesting I dye it are from older women. Women my age and younger don't seem to give a jot. I'm not really sure why that is.

Has anyone seen Mary Portas's hair since she decided to grow out her vibrant red? She's a brilliant example of someone who just looks amazing. Not young, but wonderful, and like she's ready to embrace the changing phases of her life rather than stay stuck in a rigid time warp.

www.instagram.com/maryportasofficial/

Love the hair Coco.
I was only thinking about Mary Portas yesterday, so great to see her on trend as ever.

I'm feeling that grey might make me feel more like 'me' than the middle aged costume I seem to be wearing of orangey hair, reaching for the bottle the moment a grey comes in.

My brother is four years older and went grey prematurely. "But he's a man" my mother tells me ...

Thank you Candleabra.
Mary looks great! I haven't seen her for ages, I don't think I'd have recognised her.

Ops cross post, thanks silverparting

I don’t think I’ve ever heard it said of a man that grey hair ages them.

It definitely does. Grey hair generally looks just as awful on men as it does on women IMO.

This is a zoomed in picture showing the contrast between the white and orange.
It's been 10 days since I coloured it. Not sure the original pictures convey how white the hair really is.

I’m 39 and I’m letting my grey shine through. I have a colour consultation next week and I feel like I want some highlights to even out the greys at the front and then a toner all over. If it wasn’t for the old colour it would just look like grey/silver highlights in brown hair. There are great toners and gloss treatments about now so grey doesn’t have to mean old and boring.

Oh wow it will look amazing @Silverparting!

@MapleMay11

I don’t think I’ve ever heard it said of a man that grey hair ages them.

It definitely does. Grey hair generally looks just as awful on men as it does on women IMO.

Just as awful on men as it does on women? I despair

I think I started dyeing out white hairs at 21 (colour was in the "3" or "4" range). By the time I was 50 my hairdresser had lightened it to about 6, with blonder highlights. I needed roots doing every 4 weeks and used root powder at home after about a fortnight. This was costing at least £2k/year.

I'd really cropped my hair at the start of lockdown (think Judie Dench cut).

Figuring nobody except my family would see me if it went wrong. I used colour remover and then coloured it a really light ash blond. The few grey/brown bits looked really good as they grew through.

Over the past year I've been trimming the blond bits out and am now full grey/white.

@Cocolapew

Oh wow it will look amazing *@Silverparting*!

Thank you Coco. lf it looked even half as good as yours, I'd be thrilled.

I'm due back in the office soon after WFH (why oh why didn't I grow it out in lockdown?) and I'm not sure how to wear my hair if I let it go natural. Scarves, hairbands and hats, which I'd probably look to at home, aren't going to be acceptable office wear, so I'm just wondering how to do this.

Then I get annoyed at myself as my husband, who is just getting the odd grey now, wouldn't think twice about how to 'wear' his hair during transition.

Op you could bleach the lengths leaving out the roots, which would blend it better than just waiting it out

Yep, it's going to look fabulous. I think it's time to stop taking style tips from your mum!
I've noticed too that people usually panic at the half grown out stage, because let's face it, it's hard to make that look good. But once the natural colour has grown through, it's great. It's a bit like painting half your living room and pausing, then saying no that looks terrible, I'll paint it the old colour again.

I haven't opted to grow mine out yet, although I need to get an appointment soon. I have mine bleached blonde, which blends in really well with the really white hair I have in an outer circle around the crown. The crown itself is still quite dark, so if you looked from the back and a bit above, my head would look like a target.

Once the whole head is properly white, I'll stop having it bleached and let it all grow out. Right nnow, it looks weird if not bleached. But I like the bleached look anyway, and sometimes colour the under layer a mix of pink, blue and sea-green.

Mary Portas looks great. The thing with her red sharp cut hair was that 1. bright orange/red takes a lot of maintenance as it fades quickly and 2. a very strong signature look can look too harsh and can make you look like a caricature as you get older.

My DP was not exactly a fan when I went grey, but actually told me it really suits me and looks good just the other day.

It's hard as I've always been a brunette on the base.
I'm trying to avoid lots of bleach, so I need to talk to a colourist.

I am also 47, naturally dark brown, started going grey at 19. I have also dyed my hair every 2-3 weeks for the last 30 years. But in April, two days after doing it I noticed that I already had a tiny white "halo" around my face (my hair grows fast). I freaked out, bleached it four times over a three week period and now have platinum hair. It's still jarring when I look in the mirror because I'm so used to dark hair but I just couldn't dye it one more day or use powder/crayon fixes. On the upside, because my own hair is so white, I've never had to bleach it again nor will I. Every couple of months I do a Wella toner so it looks more blonde. It's a way to consider.

I'm not ruling anything out TLC. I am so fed up of doing roots!

@GertrudeTheGreat

I think a lot of women are rightly questioning why they are expected to spend their time and money having their hair dyed. Sometimes huge amounts of money and huge lengths of time fairly frequently.

Having natural hair at any age is definitely not for everyone. In fact, ime, it is poo pooed by many people, as if it is just abhorrent to not want to dye it . "Grey hair adds precisely ten years to anyone over 30", "ugh MOUSY hair colour. You need a few highlights". It's the hair you were born with. Dye it if you want, but it shouldn't be the expectation or seemed some sort of crazy notion not to. But nobody is going to take your dye away, so panic not about the 'strident brigade' of Mumsnetters . You do you boo!

Well said. I was going to respond to the strident brigade comment, but you have done it very well. My issue is with those that insist anyone that doesn't dye their hair will definitely look 10 years older, not with whether anyone chooses to dye their own hair, and certainly would never tell anyone they should stop dyeing if they are happy with it (even if the dye job ages them).

I've decided this month to embrace my grey. I'm 54. I just think it looks a bit more sophisticated that bleached blonde.

OP, you won't regret stopping the dye! I was dying my roots until Christmas 2019. Going grey has been one of the best decisions I've made (I posted my pic on the thread coco linked to) Both my teens say it looks good and tell me I'm stylish. Maybe they just want me to hand them money though

Crazy I'll take a look at that.
Need some inspiration!

@CrazyHorse I've just checked out your hair and it is fabulous!

What colour were you before and how did you do the transition to grey?

Just googled Mary Portas, she looks fantastic