Should I embrace white hair at 47?

[Silverparting]

I found my first grey at 19. Have naturally dark brown hair, eyes and very pale skin. Dark brown eyebrows.

I've been dyeing my hair for 30 years. For a long time I've gone to the hairdresser for a number 6 permanent dark brown base, coupled with a blonde tsection every five weeks, cost £80. It looks great for a week, goes brassy and the greys come after two weeks.

In lockdown I've been dyeing my hair with Majirel a 7.3 in a bid to go lighter. I have to do my roots every two weeks! Even then there's a white spot at the back and I don't love the colour.

I'd say my hair is white and I am toying with the idea of growing it out, but then adding blonde highlights once it is all white, if I don't like it.

I have just started Curly Girl and was amazed to see some great results after a week. It's made me enjoy my hair again.

I'm so fed up of dyeing my hair every two weeks and not loving it.

Has anybody gone white, not just grey, in their 40s? I think if I was slate grey it might be easier.

Attached is a pic of my blorange and root growth after less than two weeks. This was pre curly girl so ignore the frizz. Have NC as still embarrassed about hair.

Originally I was black/very dark brown. I've been dying the greys since my mid 20's. My hairdresser was going a bit lighter than my original colour and then putting highlights in. I was having my roots done every three weeks, and using a cover spray/powder on the roots after two weeks. My appointments had to be carefully planned around holidays/weekends away.

I told my hairdresser I wanted to go grey she highlighted (half head) and didn't do my roots- by then it was a light blorange. I went to the hairdressers again three weeks later, just because I was so used to going every three weeks and again had half a head of highlights. I was horrified at the results- it was so...grey, and ran over the road to Boots for a box dye. However, the queue was really long I calmed down and didn't actually make a purchase. DH was a bit surprised to have a blond wife- it was really blond. Then we went into lockdown and I was so relieved I didn't have roots to worry about. The grey and blond seemed to blend reasonably well (although one small child I know tells me I have unicorn hair and asks why it's red and blue!) My ends have been very dry due to so much highlighting - I'd say that's been the biggest downside. Really I should have had a short Bob to get rid of the ends, but with hairdressers closed that hasn't happened. The underneath dyed hair that wasn't highlighted has faded a lot. I've used bumble and bumble Sunday night shampoo to remove as much colour as I can. I also use various toners/purple shampoo to help get rid of the yellow and have stopped using straighteners as I've heard they can turn grey hair yellow (I now use Babyliss Big Hair which was a gift, and is absolutely brilliant and achieving a salon blow dry look at home) I think eventually I'll be able to leave my hair to dry naturally like I could when I was young, which I couldn't do when it was dyed as I would have just ended up a massive frizz head.

The transition wasn't as difficult as I anticipated. I've had people ask how come I don't have any dark roots and one person stopped me in the supermarket to ask how I get my hair this colour.

I looked at lots of YouTube videos on how to go grey and it was actually easier than any video had me believe. I'm really looking forward to having most of the dried and frazzled dyed ends cut off next week. I still have about 10cm of dyed hair to get rid of (which you can't see when it's up in a bun.

I don't mind looking oldish (I'm late 40s) but I do mind looking dowdy, which I think I've managed to avoid so far.

Your hair looks similar to mine was - very white at the front and I found that dye didn't really 'hold' well anymore and I had to leave it longer and longer to cover the white to brown. It stung my head and the whole thing made me feel bluergghh after 20+ years of that malarkey! I have found the whole process very liberating and have had it very long, shoulder length, totally grombre and now all natural which is white at the front and more iron grey at the back. I still have a fair amount of dark brown also at the back which I wish would hurry up and turn grey too as some days I feel a bit badgerish. Overall though it has shifted my perception of ageing and I now look at pics of me with it dyed brown and see that aged me as brunette always looks a bit maroon/khakish. You can leave a parting only dyed to hide the till it is quite long and then comes through as highlights as a less obvious way to transition. If I did it again instead of having fading brown dye I'd dye it all jet black and have a fantastic contrast grombre grow out! Your hair looks amazing in your CGM pic btw.

It looks so healthy, Crazy. Must be so liberating.

I agree that I'm not bothered about looking my age or older, but I am bothered about looking dowdy/invisible.

I've texted a local salon to book a consultation.

I went on the Grombre UK Facebook page suggested upthread and am so pleased to see lots of women my age and younger rocking the grey.

I’m 53 and started growing mine out a few years ago. Box dye didn’t look natural or flattering on me and I didn’t want to spend the time and money at the salon every 6 weeks. As it turned out, my hair is only about 25% grey, but it looks so much better - really glossy and healthy. I only wish I’d done it sooner. I can’t believe I used to be worried about people ‘seeing my roots’. How bonkers is that?! My mum told me I was letting myself go, and I replied, “No, I’m letting myself be”.

The grombre UK facebook site is fab isn't it ?
I've virtually grown my blorange out now. Dp says it's striking but I need the brown ends cutting off, mainly at the back. Friend admiringly said it looked platinum almost. It's a bit of a shock to catch yourself in the mirror initially and you do have to adapt your makeup but the maintenance is so much easier.

I really like the look of the "after" picture in that transformation and I think I would quite like to wear my own hair like that if I had as much white as she has. (I've always fancied having pure white hair but it just isn't my genetic inheritance.) I think a look like that would quite suit your colouring as far as we can see it in the photos.

People might be more likely to perceive it as frumpy or "letting yourself go" if your general look (clothes, make-up etc) is a bit conservative. The woman in the picture, with her bouncy curls, nose ring and distinctive glasses, clearly isn't trying to be invisible. I think some eye-catching clothes and maybe a bright lipstick would play a part in making this look your "trademark thing" rather than just an oversight. I know a very stylish woman in her 50s whose hair has gradually gone from blonde to almost all white - it's also thick and curly, and she sometimes has pale lilac streaks in it, which look great and really show she has a sense of fun.

9 out of 10 of those women in that Guardian article look much better with grey hair. The darker hair contrasts badly with their older skin. I stopped dying 10 years ago, at 48. It's liberating, I love it. 10 years ago I was unusual, now here ( Melbourne) it's pretty normal in my circles.
Getting it cut really well is the trick. Mine was shorter, is now a lip length bob ( no undercut at the back). So much freedom from the boredom of going to the hairdresser and I've saved a fortune.

A woman in work dyed her hair dark brown the whole time I knew her - she was about 46 at the time. I’d see the beginnings of her pure white roots grow in, she went to a hairdresser once a month to “be a brunette”. Once upon a time she would have been very dark haired naturally.

Then she just stopped! She is a very senior lady in work and needs to look very sharp - presents on stage at huge conferences type stuff - her hair is now platinum and she goes to the hairdressers and blondes it up a bit now. She looks really killer! The dyed hair while it didn’t age her it did make her look tired. He face is so much brighter now.

Try growing it out and do the blond thing? You can always revert to another plan if it doesn’t work out!

*My mum told me I was letting myself go, and I replied, “No, I’m letting myself be”.

What a great answer.

The Grombre site is my new addiction. It's giving me ideas and confidence (as is this thread).

There is a member who said her friend asked her why she no longer dyes her hair.
She replied with something like "because I don't want to look like the women my age who have a scarecrow hair".

I'm not trying to create a younger version of my self. at 18 I was insecure, spotty and had long mousy hair. These days I have a thick blonde mane, much admired by colleagues and relations (not random MEN, heaven forbid) I don't have so much grey it really shows but it is not glamorous white or exciting badger stripes it is just miserable dull unflattering salt and pepper. I know myself well enough to say 100% it is not me. What I don't like is being told that because I don't like myself with grey hair I'm some sort of inferior being.

Just let it go grey. Lord knows you'll have 1000 people in the space of 3 days saying they've never looked better or their hair has never been softer or they've never had so many compliments.

This pic shows the difference between my hair that has had dye applied and my natural hair. You can see the difference, but what I'm trying to show is you don't need to have a harsh line.

Looks great, Crazy. Subtle.
Do you have to look after it with purple shampoo to stop any brassiness from the dyed parts?
If my hair looks that good, I'll be on it.

I have an appointment at the hairdresser Tuesday. I'm pretty sure I'm going to see if I can start with some highlights as my halfway house (like this, which I saw online).

One more from the same woman.

This is mine right now. It breaks soo many aging rules...too grey, too long, not been cut at all since Feb 2020 😱

I absolutely love it. I’m 47.

I used to blend the grey with a mixture of hi and lo lights but it got too grey so about 5 years ago I just decided to go for it. Had it cut roughly chin length and stopped dying it.

The length is new from lockdown so it’s the first time I’ve seen these white streaks. It’s been really exciting seeing what it’s going to do!

It’s very very me, and DH loves it.

Yes

Love it Ooo
That's what mine should be like.
I can tell DH isn't keen. When I had short hair he didn't like that. This is on my mind and I'm disappointed, because it conforms to what's "expected" and at 47 I really shouldn't care what anybody else thinks.

Definitely go for a lovely cut, OP, that layered bob you posted up thread would look fantastic now you’re getting your curls going. Growing grey out with a great stylish cut is the way to go I reckon.

I love both these, particularly the shorter one.

My DP wasn't either, but it's not his hair or expense in terms of time or money to colour it. The other day he said he liked it and it suits me - it was the transition and change he didn't like.

I really like your hair in all the pictures.
A friend on mine has lots of greys and very long dark hair - she says female friends are always asking her why she doesn't dye it, her answer?
"The grey hairs don't bother me, I'm the one who has to look at them"

If you are undecided what you really need is a great hairdresser who will go through the options. Hairdressers bread and butter is colouring. Repeatedly. Roots. Regrowth. What takes women back time and again is colouring. So do not necessarily believe what your hairdresser says about the best option unless you are 100&% sure you can trust them....they have WAY more of a vested interest in you continuing to dye.

I ditched the dye 5/6 years ago (did a pixie...v v old thread here

I have not regretted it once. Never. Even at my sisters wedding (pic) with the posh up-do accentuating the grey.

The freedom from the grind of it all is amazing.

Scraggy tired photo is today. I am 50 in December. Do I look it? Probably, yes - but more from the eye wrinkles than the hair. And I really do not give a fuck how old I look to be honest either.

Sorry - my quote/bold ^^ was from a PP - I was not advocating this - unless, as I said, you 100% trust your hairdresser.

Also 47 - I’m greying , have much more at the front and have never dyed my hair. I’m aware I’m not the norm - biggest issue I find is keeping the wiry grey in good condition . I personally think dyed hair can make someone look older - but I tend to keep that opinion to myself

I am 50 in December. Do I look it? Probably, yes - but more from the eye wrinkles than the hair. And I really do not give a fuck how old I look to be honest either.

I found that as well. It’s like once you get off that roundabout of trying to “hold on” to a younger look, it just doesn’t seem that important any more. Before with dyeing etc it seemed like there was always some age thing to fight, but once I made the decision to be grey it’s such a strong part of my look that worrying about crows feet or whatever seems a bit pointless...it’s like “Hello, grey hair! Yes I’m 47, this is how 47 looks!”

You look great BTW!