Age & weight

[PineappleCakes]

Reading about Trousers of Truth, Victory Jeans (of which I have many pairs...) made me think about my weight. Again.

I'm 45 and I weigh roughly 1stone more than I did 20 years ago. I gained and never lost 1/2 stone post-pregnancy, then another 1/2 stone a couple of years ago through stress and comfort eating.

I'm not happy nor resigned to being this heavy. But is it normal that we women expect ourselves to weigh the same throughout our life? Our style changes, our skin ages but the hope/expectation that we "stay slim" or similar to our teen or 20s self seems even more entrenched yet possibly just as unrealistic.

Many of the fab posters on that other thread were talking about getting back into summer shorts etc. and I think we all watch our weight to some extent. How common is it, to stay the same weight or shape through the decades? Or is it just damaging to ourselves?

Well that's weird. I though I'd cross posted, now it seems I haven't. Anyway do carry on.

Definitely @Floisme.

@Bagelsandbrie, I'm so sorry about your mum. That is very sad.

A friend was telling me years ago, about her mum dying of cancer at home, and how she went into her kitchen to get her a drink and saw she still had her "little pickers, wear big knickers" sign up on her fridge. At this point, her mum who was very slim throughout her life was obviously, extremely underweight when she was dying. It just seemed a bit sad to my friend, so I know what you mean.

That said, I know people who have drunk a lot of alcohol and been very, noticeably overweight for many years who have also gone on to be very sick as a result, so I think balance really. When it's encroaching on your life in a negative way, (either chronic dieting or being overweight), that's the problem.

Definitely @Floisme**

And this was to your post saying we'd probably agree on lots normally! Too many x posts! Let's forget it and go and shave our heads

@GertrudeTheGreat

Definitely *@Floisme*.

@Bagelsandbrie, I'm so sorry about your mum. That is very sad.

A friend was telling me years ago, about her mum dying of cancer at home, and how she went into her kitchen to get her a drink and saw she still had her "little pickers, wear big knickers" sign up on her fridge. At this point, her mum who was very slim throughout her life was obviously, extremely underweight when she was dying. It just seemed a bit sad to my friend, so I know what you mean.

That said, I know people who have drunk a lot of alcohol and been very, noticeably overweight for many years who have also gone on to be very sick as a result, so I think balance really. When it's encroaching on your life in a negative way, (either chronic dieting or being overweight), that's the problem.

Oh yes definitely, balance is key isn’t it. I’ve worked in pubs and seen people die from liver damage. But no one is going to severely limit their lives from being a few pounds overweight or eating a bit of cake or chocolate now and again.

I have an 18 year old dd and no matter how much I weigh or exercise I’m never going to look 18 again... and that’s fine. It’s quite liberating. I quite like the cloak of invisibility that being middle aged brings, but I know not everyone feels that way. I can take it off and make an effort if I like but if I don’t like that’s fine too.

I'm 5ft10" and weighed 65kg in my 20s, then slowly put it on during my 30s and 40s (add 2 children in too). By 50 I was 82kg (13 stone) at the highest end of a healthy BMI.

I had a health issue in 2019 which meant I lost 3 stone, thankfully sorted by the start of 2020 and now weigh 69-70kg (11 stone).

I've managed to stay that weight since and I think it's because for the first time I actually think about what I eat (beforehand my mindset was, well I can't seem to lose the weight and so I might as well eat what I want )

I weigh myself weekly and do have treats but think about what Im eating but not in an obsessive way. I look back at photos of myself and realise I like myself better now and that's the incentive to have a bite of Ds's cake not a whole piece.

I don't think I'm explaining it well but my whole attitude to food and what I eat has changed and this has taken all the pressure off which is what has made all the difference for me.

I agree with you @Bagelsandbrie. I personally don't miss being 18! I like the invisibility too.

It's a huge cliché, but I'm much more self confident now too, which helps.

I think, I was never SUPER pretty, which is a blessing in some ways. God, I sound so dreary don't I?

Where are those clippers? I'm livening things up a bit!

Realise I am the only one running with the head shave thing .

That makes a lot of sense @DuckyMcDuck!

I feel the same. When my mind is a bit more still and I'm not freaking out about external things, I don't feel the need to eat bad food or too much food. Sounds very woo, but it definitely is the case for me.

I’m thinner than I’ve been for a long time.
I was anorexic in my teens and weighed about 7stone at 5ft 6. Slightly under at times.
Then I gained weight at university and was about 9 and a half stone for a while, dropped after first dc to about 9 stone and stayed there for a while then had dc2 and was unwell with PND and dropped to 7st 12 and that’s where I’ve stayed for the last five years. I don’t eat very much, my appetite is nonexistent most of the time. I take size 6-8. I’m probably on the slightly too slim side and my bmi is slightly underweight. I felt too heavy at 9stone. 8 and a half is probably right for me.

[quote GertrudeTheGreat]@FindingMeno, but there is a healthy range. So, someone who is a stone or even two heavier than she was as a young woman, could easily still have a healthy bmi. I don't think anyone would argue that maintaining a healthy bmi is a good idea![/quote]
Yes my BMI range is almost 3 stone!

I'm 51 and haven't had a period for 4mths, I've got the usual menopausal symptoms, but also in that time I've put on 8kg, not only that, but my waist has vanished and my figure looks 'boxy', my usual weight loss methods aren't working. So pissed off about it. I'm taking up running, in the hope I can my weight back down.

I'm around your age OP and only weight slightly more than I did as a teenager. I actually felt chubby at this weight then because the other girls around me were on average very, very slim and with size inflation I was a bigger size then than now. So I suppose it's easier to be an average slim size as you get older,
I haven't had children and not menopausal yet, so I don't think a slight drop in metabolism is enough of an excuse for me to put on weight. I'm trying to lose those couple of pounds so I can go back to my teenage weight. I also don't want to go into menopause being overweight as I know it will only get harder from then on.