What instantly ages?

[MadameNaice]

Whether that be clothing or cosmetics, I'm interested to hear your opinions. I have a few of my own thoughts on this, though I could be way off the mark.

Am in need of a boost and think I might be unwittingly ageing myself before my time.

Thanks.

Also, if you really don’t care about how you look (great - well done), WTAF are you doing reading a thread like this? Genuinely, what an absolute waste of your time

@Positivevibesonlyplease

Also, if you really don’t care about how you look (great - well done), WTAF are you doing reading a thread like this? Genuinely, what an absolute waste of your time

Curiosity. Also wanted to see how long it took until posters snuck in sneery lists of things they don't like or they think they're tacky or outdated.

It didn't take long.

Tutting at everyday things

Poor posture through lack of flexibility

Exclusively planting pansies in front garden

Smile, stretch, let some weeds grow and we’ll be young forever.

Birthdays

Getting old is a damn scary business and I do understand the fear, the delusion, and even the spite that's all over this thread. It's very comforting to tell yourself you're not like those dreaded women, or that you can escape their fate by adapting your make up or wearing better boots or cultivating this mysterious 'youthful attitude'. Here's the thing though - it doesn't work.

Curiosity really! I read whatever comes up in the active.

Oooh, I love pansies.
Why don't people have them in their gardens any more?

@Maireas

Oooh, I love pansies. Why don't people have them in their gardens any more?

I have hanging baskets full of pansies in my front garden. I'm not sure how I make my front garden look young?

@Nonamesavail

Curiosity really! I read whatever comes up in the active.

Me too. Didn’t get that far through this one before posting though.

@Floisme - ^^ this.
Absolutely.

@Tenyearsgone
Naughty!

When I was young I never understood why older women had the same hairstyles, but as you get over 50 your hair starts to thin, especially after menopause, so long, thinning hair would look dreadful! Which means you have to find different styles which will suit your different type of hair. Sad but true.

It's turned into a what's no longer fashionable thread,

What sort of boots do non-mums wear? (And using mum as an insult on a site called Mumsnet is more than a bit off.)

@mena51

Wine face

Oh no what is wine face? I fear I may have this whatever it is 😫🤣

Woah! When I started this thread I didn't expect this many replies.

It was not meant to come across as ageist or sneery. If you read my OP, you will see that I want to look MY AGE. Not younger, not older.

I have fallen into a rut of wearing a daily uniform. I'm not overly confident about my body shape and would like to dress my age for my body shape. I'm simply in need of a bit of a boost/make over.

There is nothing ageist in my enquiry. An assumption has been made that seeking opinions on how to look one's age is ageist. Perhaps I should've emphasised that neither do I want to look younger. Trying to look younger than you are can also be very ageing IMO.

I agree with PP that there are non - physical attributes which are far more important than physical appearance, that are timeless/have no age. Such as: wit, wisdom, confidence, kindness, intelligence, grace. All of which can only be attained through lived experience.

For some women, I'm sure that a fringe lifts the face and frames the face. However, I know that a fringe would add years on me. I have lines on my forehead, so getting a fringe cut in would only highlight that I'm trying to conceal my age. I don't at all mind looking my age.

I agree with PPs too, that posture is of high importance. As are: smiling; a healthy glow through exercise, a nutritious diet and a proper sleep pattern; regular grooming.

I've picked up some great tips on here wrt clothing and make up, which is what I'd enquired about in my OP, so thank you all for your contributions.

My mum died at 48. I’m older than 48. I’m just grateful to be ageing. I never thought I would get beyond 48.

Fringes - how can they be ageing - must be better than a slap head??? I have a fringe.

And FWIW, I'd rather look comfortably stylish than trying too hard to look young and trendy. That's not a look I'd aspire to.

@Coffeeandcocopops

My mum died at 48. I’m older than 48. I’m just grateful to be ageing. I never thought I would get beyond 48.

Fringes - how can they be ageing - must be better than a slap head??? I have a fringe.

Yes I have to wear a fringe because I look ridiculous without one. My eyes are too close together to suit a no fringe haircut. (And I'm just not pretty enough) Also I have a slaphead to hide 😂

I'm 40 and my hair has blonde highlights (not that light, just a few shades lighter than my natural mousey shade) and I wear it cut into a very blunt bob or occasionally do loose beachy waves.

One day I decided to blow dry it and turn the ends under. The mushroom effect. It instantly aged me at least ten years.

My mum died at 48. I’m older than 48. I’m just grateful to be ageing. I never thought I would get beyond 48.

@Coffeeandcocopops I'm so sorry.

This did cross my mind before posting. I'm fortunate to be living and ageing. My Gran and my Aunt (her daughter) both didn't reach 60. From the photos I've seen and what I've been told by family members, my Gran was the epitome of style and grace. So, someone for me to aspire to in terms of poise.

Exclusively planting pansies in front garden

Pansies are lovely flowers, I can't imagine a garden with only pansies but it sounds rather nice! Especially the black ones.

As to why join this thread if you don't care about what you look like, I do care. I like to look fresh, reasonably well cared for, I'd like to be slimmer, I wear clothes I think look ok and I get a reasonable amount of compliments even though I break some of the ageing rules apparently by having longer than bob length hair, although as others have pointed out, as a bob is also ageing, I think I'm on a losing streak and so should wear my hair to please myself which I do.

I am not immune to worrying about appearance, what I'm trying to point out is that a lot of things in this thread are not 'ageing', they are simply things lots of middle-aged and older aged women wear, that are in the shops, and they feel ok in. It is because middle-aged and older women are devalued that these items are then devalued, not because intrinsically they are offensive. A waterfall cardigan can't be ageing on a young person, they can be quite pretty and flattering, it's because older women wear them that other women then don't want to be like that. In other words, we are devaluing ourselves, and often alongside that there's a little hope if we stop wearing the waterfall cardigans we will look better and more youthful. To some you might, but I'm betting the vast majority of people you encounter at work or in life don't 'read' waterfall cardigans in that way and if you look smiley, engaged in life, are approachable, look like you might kick ass or whatever, your waterfall cardigan will not register.

I still wear heels occasionally, even though I know most young people wear flats. I like me in heels, I strut more and I'm confident they make me look good. People then respond to that in a positive way. It's not about the heel, the cardigan, the cut of the jean (I don't think many people on this thread have realised jean fashions have changed again anyway!) It's that middle-aged and old women are devalued in general, so things associated with them are also devalued- that's why we have to fight back a bit and value ourselves!

Bootcut, flare and bell bottom jeans are all v fashionable now
White and grey hair is a look sometimes less ageing and much cooler than dyeing.
I think overly dyed hair looks v ageing also dyed too dark or in a block colour - only the v young, gothic Or POC should consider a dark brown dye
Overly done anything = age or naff

Little chiffon type neck scarves
Really thin drawn on eyebrows
Over bleached yellowy hair

Overly done anything = age or naff

@RonaldMcDonald That's exactly it. I don't want to look naff! I notice many young girls caking themselves in make up and drawing on dark overdone brows. It looks naff. It also adds on years. IMO, the more natural the better.