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Style and beauty

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Original poster

So embarrassed by how I used to look

30 replies

Thickhead · 13/12/2020 19:22

I turned 30 this year and have finally, finally figured out a makeup style and haircut that suit and flatter me. I can't believe the difference it's made to my appearance and I feel so much more confident and 'myself'. I'm finally happy when I look in the mirror.

I just found some old photos of me in my 20s and am so shocked and embarrassed by how I look in them. A really stupid haircut, terrible heavy makeup, chapped, bitten lips (I used to chew on them from anxiety), and clothes that were all wrong for me (I'm very tall and my skirts were way too short!). Just an impression of trying way too hard to look good and totally not pulling it off.

I'm so embarrassed I used to go around looking like that and can't help cringing, wondering what people thought of me. It didn't help that I used to document everything on social media... and take loads of selfies. Like I was showing off, even though really I had no self confidence at all.

I did have body dysmorphic disorder in the past, hence the heavy makeup. I even wore wigs for years because I hated my hair, and some of them looked so fake. I genuinely like how I look now but can't help ruminating on how terrible I looked before.

Any advice on getting over this sense of embarrassment?

OP posts:

PusheenLove · 13/12/2020 19:24

I'm sure everyone has cringe fashion moments from their past. I know I do!

If it helps, delete the social media evidence?

Flvq · 13/12/2020 19:26

I was young in the 80s

Nuff said.

TheSpottedZebra · 13/12/2020 19:27

I did have body dysmorphic disorder in the past this is the key, really.
Hope you're feeling much better now, and going forward.

BringBiscuits · 13/12/2020 19:29

Delete the old photos. I hate looking back at at photos of myself where I knew I wasn’t feeling confident, it shows in the photos and just makes me cringe.

HeadNorth · 13/12/2020 19:31

@Flvq

I was young in the 80s

Nuff said.

I hear you - but on the plus side, there is hardly any photographic evidence

. It is a bit of a right of passage to experiment with crazy looks when you are young, it is fine. I think you need to learn to be kinder to yourself

Frannibananni · 13/12/2020 19:39

Everyone cringes when we look back at old photos.
Fashion changes, our perception of what looks good changes.

Woohoowoowoo · 13/12/2020 19:43

Delete your social media for a start.

I think everyone feels like this to an extent.

GlitterBiatch · 13/12/2020 19:44

Im late 20’s - I used to weigh 10 stone more than I weigh now, looking back at photos of me from that time as a teenager/early twenties I just feel sorry for the girl that I was. I also had horrendous acne, greasy limp hair, and I wore too much makeup to try and compensate for my weight and make me look ‘pretty’
I think just be proud of where you are now - you said you’ve overcome body dismorphia - that’s something to be immensely proud of!

Eckhart · 13/12/2020 19:50

Pretend you're Monica from Friends. Teat the bit of you that's poking fun at the former you as one of the other Friends. A shrug, a sarcastic 'haha, you're so funny!, and drop it.

Don't forget that everybody looks at old photos of themselves and thinks 'Christ, what was I wearing?!' and 'What the hell was wrong with my hair?!'. You're looking at the pictures through today's fashion goggles. It would be different if you were wearing that stuff now. BUT YOU'RE NOT, and that's the main thing.

Eckhart · 13/12/2020 19:51

*TREAT!! There's really no need to bring teats into this, how rude..!

Doublevodka · 13/12/2020 19:51

It's true that nearly everyone cringes at old photos. We all had dodgy hair, clothes and makeup that was considered fashionable at the time. I even look at celebs from the 80s and 90s who I thought looked amazing at that time and now I can't imagine why I thought they looked so cool. It was easier in the sense that we didn't have social media, but if that bothers you just delete your pics. Or just accept that it's a life lived, laugh and feel great about how you look now.

Original poster

Thickhead · 13/12/2020 19:56

Thank you all - you've made me feel better. I've deleted all my social media but the photos are still saved in my phone (thanks, Google photos)... I can't believe how much better I feel for deleting SM as well. Awful for self esteem.

I really do feel sorry for my former self. I was just a pit of self loathing and it really showed in how I looked and my behaviour.

Life begins at 30 I guess :)

OP posts:

OzziePopPop · 13/12/2020 19:58

I had a mushroom haircut. Truly hideous. Fortunately pre social media but I’ve still got the old passport 😂 DH had a 70s porn star moustache in bright orange (not pretty ginger, dayglo orange!) It could be so much worse op 💐

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 13/12/2020 20:05

Honestly - do I need to say more than 'I was a teenager late 89's early 90's...

Fair enough you've removed the photos from SM (no need, but if it's made you happier!). But do NOT delete them from your storage.

You might find this hard to believe right now, but one day you'll enjoy looking at them & remembering the way you felt at the time!

Wendyhause · 13/12/2020 20:06

Another one here who is old enough to have all those cringeworthy photos safely tucked in my photo album (a real one bought from a shop!) and nothing on social media to feel ashamed of as social media wasn't even a phrase back then!
Fashions and hairstyles come full circle so the outfits and styles I wore 30 years ago have re-emerged in a way but they are never exactly the same. There is one photo of me taken in early 90's and I was mortified to see that my (smart) trousers were just a couple of inches too short. The shame was painful. Now though they are "the look" and seeing ladies out and about with half mast flapping trousers is perfectly acceptable.
Another photo of me sporting a lovely (at that time) full head of permed curls will hopefully never be displayed on anyone's Fbook or the like. Those who know me have been warned.

RedLimoncello · 13/12/2020 20:09

The thing that always helps me when looking at cringe photos- or any photos of me!- is to remember that the only photos anyone really cares about are the photos of themselves.

No one, but no one, really gives a shit about other people’s photos. We’re all innately self-obsessed.

It’s very reassuring to remember that and has helped me to give less of a crap if I look good or terrible in a photo as long as it captures the fun of the moment or the loveliness of the memory.

That and the fact that everyone looks shite in old photos!

goose1964 · 14/12/2020 00:21

I was young in the 80s too, I still love some of the outfits I used to wear, in fact I bought a free in Monsoon tha was very similar to a dress I used to wear. Even my wedding dress wasn't too bad for the 80s

Lastnamefirst · 14/12/2020 02:36

This happened to me when I was 27 - finally realised how to look good. I then went through a dreadful phase at looking through all my previous photos repeatedly and ruminating about how awful I looked. I felt like I had wasted a lot of my earlier years which should have been when I was at my prettiest. It put me into a sort of quarter-life crisis. I have no mental health history and would probably be considered quite a resilient character by most. But this really floored me. All I can say is that I’m now nearing mid 30s and my bad hair/clothes/makeup days just feel so long ago that I just don’t care any more! I’m sure you will feel the same gradually.

GhostCurry · 14/12/2020 10:41

@Lastnamefirst

Great post. I really identify with the “I spent the bloom of my youth looking awful” feeling. Seems such a waste.

Deathraystare · 16/12/2020 09:01

I used to dye my hair really bright colours (actually I still would but it is such a faff to keep dyeing greying hair!

I used to use my mum's Revlon Touch and Glow foundation (she was a few shades darker than me!) and I never assumed I had to blend it in!

FAQs · 16/12/2020 09:07

@Thickhead I was going in the 90s, we walked around like either spice girls (not me) of crop tops and joggers aka as what the teens are currently wearing, they’ve got it to come, could have been worse you could have been young in the 80s

FAQs · 16/12/2020 09:07

Going = young

Deathraystare · 16/12/2020 10:26

My worst look was a kind of pudding bowl/ choir boy cut - cannot remember the name of the style oh yes Pageboy! I went to have my hair cut and I never know what I want. I assume they would know! I took a pic of a Miss World - An Aussie one who had the cut, Honestly whatever made a moon faced chubster get that style!!!!

User9574 · 16/12/2020 10:54

I feel the opposite like I am currently trying to reinvent the styles and shapes I wore but in a more sophisticated way. I defo take more care of my hair now. Yes to hiding past social media.

ghostmous3 · 17/12/2020 14:01

I spent the bloom of my youth looking awful.

Yyto this

I'm 43 now and look better that what I've ever done

Even up to 3 years ago I spent my life mostly in everlast trackie bottoms, everlast hoodies, fat, no make up and hair scraped back and awful shoes. I even used to go shopping in town looking bad, holes in everything. I even bought an old lady shopping trolley to cart my shopping home once...I was 31 .

But I was going through so much trauma for over 17 years, abusive relationship, no money, chaotic lifestyle, 2 children with autism plus another 2 dds and 2 stepkids as well, my dad dying, my own mental health....no wonder I looked such a mess.

I look back on these photos with gratitude now and so thankful I'm in such a good place now. I'm slim, wouldnt say thin lol, my hairs alright, my wardrobe is looking much better..no trackies ever..and a lovely new man and a lot fitter. And decent shoes ha

Everyone hates old photos of themselves..I did.

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