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"Nobody ever told me" thread

363 replies

littlecatfeet · 31/08/2020 22:13

I was wondering, do you have any personal style/beauty tips that you worked out all by yourself?

I have two:

  1. Never ever apply perfume when you're under stress - running late, or angry, or anxious - it seems to cause that horrible reaction that makes perfume unbearable.
  2. When you are carrying 'le flab' (as I call it) a silk slip looks a million times better under a dress than shapewear. It slides past your creases and moves naturally. And you're comfortable!

What hard-won or fluke inspirations do you have to share?

OP posts:
LunaNorth · 01/09/2020 11:36

Also...

As skin ages, less is more when it comes to foundation and powder.

A spray of hairspray on your tights will stop static making your skirt/lining/slip cling.

A spray of hairspray on your shoe soles will stop them being slippery.

Overly-tidy hair is a bit ageing.

Big, boxy unisex t-shirts are unflattering and make you look twice the size. Go for a woman’s fitted cut.

LunaNorth · 01/09/2020 11:38

Finally...

Trench coats don’t suit everyone. I’ve tried many over the years, in various colours, and every one has either made me look like a corpse, Inspector Gadget or just a straight-up twat. They’re really fussy and annoying, too.

I hate them.

PuppyMonkey · 01/09/2020 11:41

Nope, tried the hairspray thing on tights to stop skirts clinging (it always gets mentioned on these threads) and it definitely doesn't work. Never tried it on shoe soles though...

PersonaNonGarter · 01/09/2020 11:43

Nope sorry, I’ll be the judge of what I wear.

And we’ll judge you for it - that’s how it works. Few people will care what you wear (apart from PPE or whatever) - but they will judge you on it. It’s your statement.

And converse are over for now. Soz. I don’t make the rules, folks. They’ll be back of course.

LunaNorth · 01/09/2020 11:44

@PuppyMonkey

Nope, tried the hairspray thing on tights to stop skirts clinging (it always gets mentioned on these threads) and it definitely doesn't work. Never tried it on shoe soles though...
Works for me!

Not as well as Tigi Shine Spray though. That’s the best of all.

Elllllle · 01/09/2020 11:45

The Converse/ageism debate reminds me of a shopping outing I had with friends. One (in her mid 40s) turned up in converse and the other told me (behind her back) that she looked ridiculous wearing Converse at her age. We were all in trainers, it was specifically converse she had an issue with!

Anyway, the thing I worked out was that wearing my hair curly makes me look a stone heavier than I am Confused (that's personal to me btw, I'm not saying it applies to anyone else)

hippospot · 01/09/2020 11:47

I'm in my mid-40s and wish I had realised several things much earlier in life. I'd have saved a fortune on clothes that ended up at Oxfam, for a start.

  • shirts of all descriptions make me look like a man (wide shoulders, small chest)
  • jackets and blazers of all types make me look like a man (see above)
  • heavy make-up makes me look like a man in drag

What DO suit me are dresses! I wish I had realised sooner - so much easier to wear a dress and boots or sandals and not have to co-ordinate separates. I have decent arms and legs so showing them off detracts from the otherwise mannish silhouette.

PrimalLass · 01/09/2020 11:49

@NoCureForLove

Drinking lots of water every day is very good for your skin.

Navy blue is much more flattering than black.

Navy is only more flattering than black if it suits your particular colouring. It makes me look awful. Apart from navy mascara for some reason.
Bluesheep8 · 01/09/2020 11:53

I drink GALLONS of water. And my skin still looks shit.

Bluesheep8 · 01/09/2020 11:56

One (in her mid 40s) turned up in converse and the other told me (behind her back) that she looked ridiculous wearing Converse at her age. We were all in trainers, it was specifically converse she had an issue with!

I never realised til today that a casual pump type shoe could be the cause of such controversy!

bluebluezoo · 01/09/2020 11:57

Another tip (learnt the hard way): If you've got a long hair (or several), crazy eyebrows or an unsightly mole on your face, it's quite possible NO ONE will tell you. It's also likely that you won't always be able to see it yourself in the normal scheme of things. So, it's good to check yourself out every so often. (I have a magnifying glass.)

Unsightly mole? Do fuck off.

I have two “unsightly moles” on my face. Yes I am very aware they are there- they aren’t like spots or blemishes that are temporary and can be covered, they’re fucking permanent.

And yes I had a mother who had the same opinion as you, that moles are “unsightly” and got dragged to many, many, doctors in my youth.

A) i don’t actually mind them, they’re just moles.

B) i don’t give a fuck about others opinions, what am i supposed to do? Cut them off with a kitchen knife?
C) the opinion of those many, many doctors is that the scar from removal will be much larger and more unsightly, and in one case may affect the line of my eyebrow making it wonky and uneven.

But yeah, if moles make me ugly and you can’t bear to look at me, then keep your judgy opinions away as well.

This is why I hate “beauty”. People have a defined idea of what is beautiful and if you don’t fit it you’re worthless.

I will stick to my moles, wild eyebrows, make up free face, converse, low waisted jeans and vest tops. It’s how i feel comfortable, and personally I think I look a damn sight better than many fake tanned, plucked, waxed, groomed, self conscious “beautiful people”.

Catlover77 · 01/09/2020 11:58

Taking turmeric with black pepper tablets daily thickens hair. I have had great success with this and my hairdresser recommends to other clients now.

I agree with previous advice regarding good eyebrows awaken the face.

PurpleDaisies · 01/09/2020 12:00

And converse are over for now. Soz. I don’t make the rules, folks. They’ll be back of course.

Who does make the rules? I certainly haven’t had anyone come to my door to warn me to hang up my trainers. I don’t seriously think anyone (I actually care about) is looking at them and thinking they’re bad.

IntermittentParps · 01/09/2020 12:05

I'm 45 and I have, and wear, three pairs of Converse.

I must be offending a lot of people.

Boireannachlaidir · 01/09/2020 12:12

@MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously

Fashion 'experts' always advise that a crisp white shirt is a wardrobe necessity. But shirts don't suit everyone. There is no universal item that everyone should own! I have wasted hours looking for the shirt that suits me and I've yet to find it.
Exactly this!

I've wasted years and money searching for the elusive "perfect" "crisp" white shirt to have in my repertoire. Why is it always crisp?! Grin

White doesn't suit me at all and I'm not an elegant, polished, whatever the adjective is for the types that can wear this item and look effortlessly lovely.

Concur with others & buy your size, wear comfortable underwear and footwear and get your hair trimmed regularly. That's it!

hammeringinmyhead · 01/09/2020 12:12

I've been wearing Converse since 2003. Grin I don't really look much different and I still get IDed for wine so I'm hoping I won't be ejected from public places for being a styleless husk when I turn 40 in 4 years time.

raffle · 01/09/2020 12:15

I’m mid 40s and I still can’t wear navy blue because it reminds me of school uniforms Confused

jrb123 · 01/09/2020 12:16

Your favourite make-up - lipstick, foundation, moisturiser or whatever - will almost certainly be available on ebay at less than the High St price, brand new but sometimes in older packaging. .

DaisiesBerries · 01/09/2020 12:34

Lots of average - good quality sleep is THE BEST thing for youthful looking skin.

Lots of medium intensity walking is THE BEST thing for an overall toned body.

A smile and positive attitude makes a significant difference between attractive - pretty - beautiful.

Women who wear layers of make up (particularly famous actresses and models) are no more attractive than the average women, when they are seen without make up.

Bluesheep8 · 01/09/2020 12:44

Lots of medium intensity walking is THE BEST thing for an overall toned body.

At the risk of sounding like a negative Nancy, not necessarily. I do loads of walking and I am certainly not toned. And it does nothing to counteract middle age weight gain. Sorry but I have to disagree.

workshy44 · 01/09/2020 12:47

Hot water wrecks your skin. I only put cold water on my face now and my skin is so so much better.
Fast walking is the best exercise for weightless (min 1 hour)
Kevin Murphy is the best shampoo I have ever tried and makes my brittle locks look luxurious for the first time in years
If you have the money invest in Biologique Recherche products. They will transform your skin. My skin looks better now than it did 10 years ago and I eat all the wrong foods, drink too much wine , go in the sun etc. Even people I haven't seen me in years don't recognize me now (in a good way)
I do not, nor have I ever had naturally good skin but they are a game changer.

workshy44 · 01/09/2020 12:47

I agree bluesheep, walking is good for weightloss but I don't think it tones you.

PhantomErik · 01/09/2020 12:48

A friend of mine said years ago if you bump into people when you look a mess (no make up/hair needing a wash etc) just be really cheerful & smile a lot as they'll notice your demeanor more than your face.

Not sure how true that is but I often look a mess so smile a lot!

Atalune · 01/09/2020 12:49

@Catlover77 can you link to those tablets please?

ihatebingandflop · 01/09/2020 12:50

Well this has turned into a depressing read.

Anyone else feeling completely overwhelmed by it all? I'll just add a million more things to my ever expanding to do list I have to juggle to ensure that I don't look like a sack of shit.

Oh and remember to bin my converse and vans by the age of 40. Grin

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