Children thwarting my attempts at stylishness! (Lighthearted)

[CoveredInCrayon]

It's come to my attention that there is a bit of a disconnect between my desired style and what's actually practical for my lifestyle! Fictional me is chic, classic, but not overly polished. Spends spare time going to restaurants, galleries and people-watching in lovely European cities. Mainly dresses in Sezane and Rouje, has a great fringe. Goes to work in understated elegant outfits that perfectly blend masculine and feminine elements. Wears a white shirt with aplomb.

I told myself that after DC2 I would lose the baby weight plus the extra I had been carrying (thus necessitating a new wardrobe) and I would become this stylish woman. I pinned all the stuff to pinterest, read up on capsule wardrobes, lost the weight. And I did buy a very plain capsule/basic summer wardrobe and I'm happy enough with it, though it is definitely a bit boring.

However, I am a SAHM with two young children living in a rural area. I spend the vast majority of my time going to the park, cycling, going to the beach, going to the woods, hanging out in fields and trudging about in the rain. And of course cooking and cleaning. I'm going to need new clothes for Autumn/Winter and it pains me to admit that beautiful wool coats, brogues, silk shirts and cashmere jumpers are really not what I need .

I bought a surfy hoody last year and thought I would wear it mostly around the house. In reality I often reach for it when we go out as it just works for my lifestyle. And actually I can see that a more outdoorsy look does work for me more often than not because it's really "appropriate" if that makes sense? Looking like I've just jumped out of my campervan and am about to cycle off for a bbq on the beach is ABSOLUTELY the right look for me . I often see people on here saying they've lost their way and ended up wearing jeans and hoodies etc and want to get stylish again. So it feels weird to me to know "how" to be stylish but choose a look that is practical and doesn't feel as "me". But then as my DH says, I'm not a glamorous Parisian, I'm a SAHM living in the country!

There is so much around at the moment about finding your style identity and creating a capsule wardrobe around it etc. I know this is totally trivial, but does anyone feel like they have two very different looks? I think, somewhat tragically, I wanted to project this sophisticated, put-together look so I felt more like the person I might have been, and I'm realising that actually I need to dress more like the person I am!

I'm childless and work fulltime in an office. We have a uniform. When I'm off, I go to pubs usually with my large dog, and exercise a lot.
Id love to be more stylish but I usually incorporate pubs with dog walks. Id love to eat my lunch with my friends in elegant heels and trousers/skirts but I don't suit skirts at all, and I can barely stand up in heels let alone walk 3 miles in them. As I run and do weights I try to buy nice workout gear but then I feel guilty washing it constantly and it always been covered in mud!
Now and again I'll dress up. But because I rarely do, I have no idea what suits me!

I love this thread! @hammeringinmyhead now I want the Grenson Nanettes too but I just can’t afford them!
I don’t have small kids but I do have a dog - and getting covered in mud or soaked through is a sad reality of daily life. I live in Scotland and it’s definitely autumnal already up here (12 degrees and raining today). Dog has already ruined any lighter jeans as the mud has stained and won’t come off even on a hot wash with Vanish. I also aspire to French artfully undone chic but in reality am just scruffy. I can generally be found in oversized baggy cropped jeans (Zara pleated ones) with a sweatshirt or long-sleeved T-shirt (all my long-sleeved T-shirts have holes in so I really need new ones!) or a thin jersey. I chuck on Stan Smiths, army boots or wellies for walking up the park depending on weather, and I wear proper hiking boots or the army boots for long walks at weekends. I need to improve my footwear to find properly waterproof kickass stompy boots, stop wearing the same pairs of jeans all the time (I do have a very extensive jeans collection but anything I couldn’t curl up on the sofa in or walk the dog in got put away over lockdown) and start wearing skirts/dresses with slouchy jumpers even if they are less practical! Also, I need some thick woolly socks in muted but stylish colours to stick out the top of my boots.
I like the look of the Mango knitwear and coats, but have never bought anything from there as there isn’t a shop near me - what’s sizing and quality like?
I got a Uniqlo cashmere jumper recommended on here for £60 and I love it! It’s so soft and not itchy.
I think corduroy trousers/culottes would fit into the make-one’s-own-pottery look and be practical.
Also a 70s-French-girl thing with high-waisted wide-legged jeans and slightly cropped wool jumper over a thin shirt (I know I wouldn’t manage silk but maybe very thin cotton/linen) and an oversized blazer or mannish wool coat... the trouble is that in my head I’m tall but am actually short!

I’m now watching 4 jumpers on eBay thanks to this thread. A Jack Wills one, a Hobbs one, an M&S one and a Country Road Australia one - never heard of the last make but I like the style of the jumper so I’ll take a punt. Wish me luck!

I don’t have a lot of money either, but I avoid black coats like the plague. Over the last ten years or so, I’ve got coats from H&M, Topshop and Zara and I never buy black as it shows wear badly in a cheaper coat and is just so much less fun. I’ve had tan, violet, grey/brown/orange plaid, olive green. Even my dog-walking anorak is navy rather than black. A friend has an orangey-red unlined coat that is just stunning. You think they don’t go with as many things but actually they do! And they look more expensive. There’s a rust-coloured one in the Mango sale that’s not available in my size for £59 and is gorgeous. Then your black clothes/handbag (though I rarely buy black bags either - I like brown leather bags) are instantly less boring.

@MaryLennoxsScowl I just had a look at Mango knitwear, there were a few things that looked really nice and were beautifully styled but they were composition of acrylic and polyester. They will bobble and lose shape really quickly, in addition to not keeping you warm and not being great for the environment. And they’re still not ultra cheap, for £35 you can pick up knitwear from ebay that will last and you will love for a while.

I do rate Mango’s jewellery though.

That’s a good point, @luggageandbags - back to stalking the sales for real wool then!
In honour of this thread I’ve got red lipstick on today, while sitting on the sofa in black barrel-leg jeans and a slouchy coral jumper - slightly less scruffy than before!

[quote Onekidnoclue]@hammeringinmyhead I’ve never heard of Grenson but those boots are lovely. Are they a pain in the arse to put on and take off though?
Burberry to mountain warehouse is quite a fall from grace! These children don’t know the sacrifices we’ve made![/quote]
Not really - similar to Dr Martens or high top Converse which I wear a lot. They are very light!

This thread has really put into words something ive been feeling since having kids... with a 4 year old and a 1 year old everything gets trashed at the moment and every day I end up reaching for my jeans and a bloody stripy top and supergas because my pre-children dresses are all too short for scooping children off the floor in the park etc and anything 'nice' just seems to attract weetabix/yoghurt/banana/snot. It seems like there are a lot of other Sezane fans here too! I think their marketing team are doing a good job at selling an aspirational, chic (childfree!) Lifestyle to us all!

Love this thread. Found my people as you say.
Went for a walk the other day, DH said I looked like a professional country person, I thought he meant I looked quite middle-class-outdoors, a bit 'Joules', I said "I look like windswept farmer's wife" (I was wearing a hoodie jeans and wellies with greasy hair) he said "yeah, that's what I meant".