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Grey hair boredom

117 replies

SouthWestmom · 16/02/2020 17:43

So I have given up the dye and I love:

No roots
Some lovely white

I am bored though and it's still got some dark grey/brown wedges through it

I've done highlights and they always end up yellow or warm blonde

Silver shampoo or conditioner is a con or at best keeps it from going yellow

What can I do to stop giving him and chucking a box dye on it?

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SouthWestmom · 16/02/2020 17:45

This is the colour

Grey hair boredom
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Puppylucky · 16/02/2020 20:23

I've also gone grey and I kind of get what you mean but I don't think the answer is highlights I use an illuminator shampoo that makes the silver really shine but the biggest difference is made by the colour clothes and makeup I wear. Black and jewel colours look really good now as does red lipstick. It's framing the grey that is fun now rather than changing the colour itself iyswim

SouthWestmom · 16/02/2020 21:26

Is yours long or short? I keep wanting to dye it pale red or something but I remember the hell of growing it out and having roots.

Maybe I need Botox or something

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Appledeapp · 16/02/2020 21:42

Your hair colour looks lovely. I would love to have your hair colour. Mine is dark brown with white through it. It has been 12 months since I last coloured it. Debating if I can continue being natural.

SouthWestmom · 16/02/2020 21:47

Thank you Apple, I'm still the only if my friends to have gone grey. ((47).

People say it's nice but you don't know that do you? They might be lying after all my effort!

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beautifulwhiskers · 17/02/2020 08:18

I think you really have to think about what you really want and not be swayed by others.

This time 2 years ago I had very long dyed brown hair. I decided to stop dyeing, and slowly started losing length, not because I wanted shorter hair but just to speed the process up.

I then decided to ask the hairdresser for a bit of layering and shaping that would bring hair to medium shoulder length but she cut 4 inches off more than I asked so in effect I ended up with short grey hair.

To say I was not happy is an understatement. I am now starting to notice it growing back and planning to have it long again.

Some days I like the colour and some days I don't. Some days it makes me feel so drab and it's really affected by lighting, weather, what I wear etc.

I had nothing but compliments for it but I think that's partly because women are just so scared of doing it and admire my 'courage'. I also notice, nearly 2 years on, the people who compliment me are still colouring and bleaching their own hair ...

I realised at one point I was feeling horrible about it all the time and it really knocked my confidence. I felt like a totally differently person. Also, it seemed, overnight, people were treating me differently and not in a positive way. I got to the stage where I realised that, as much of a bind as it was to keep on top of the roots, at least I was a lot happier and more confident with my appearance the rest of the time because I felt like the real me.

Also, I realised it was getting to point I didn't care what colour it was as long it was A COLOUR rather than grey.

So at the moment I am just concentrating on growing it and will most probably have it coloured but I will never go back to dark hair again so it will be lighter, blonder shades which means I won't care about the roots showing and I will be able to go to salon every 3 months or so.

Someone once said to me 'have the hair that shows your personality' and I think that is so true. I understand the concerns about chemicals etc and that is a consideration but taking all that on board it's a price I'm willing to pay.

I won't be telling anyone when I'm due to have it coloured as I know I'll get a barrage of people telling me how lovely my hair is and don't do it but I've decided now.

So this brings me to the first point - think about what YOU want and what you can live with and be actually happy about on a day to day basis for the foreseeable.

Weigh up all the pros and cons and don't be swayed by other people. Good luck!

GoldenGumballs · 17/02/2020 08:19

Hi op I’m just a couple of trim away from being dye free and my hair is a similar colour to yours and bright white at the front (am 51). My hairdresser showed me some tints in all different pastel shades that only last a couple of washes but may give you a bit of variety? I’m looking forward to experimenting after years of block brown hair but I will never never go back to those roots catchups again. puppylucky is spot on with framing your hair with beautiful coloured clothes.

SouthWestmom · 17/02/2020 08:40

I really relate to whiskers' post - I feel very drab and unattractive, almost ashamed when I go out Shock and don't have a put together made up look.
Maybe some experimenting with paler shades might work. Or some temporary dyes?

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GoldenGumballs · 17/02/2020 08:43

I think it’s a very personal thing and you’ve got to feel like you have your va va voom no matter what you chose. If you find your answer let me know (for when I get fed up!)

beautifulwhiskers · 17/02/2020 08:47

almost ashamed when I go out

yes, I get that. I wear hats a lot to hide it and because I get tired of people staring at it - my hair is very white at the front.

I think there is a wave sweeping women along of mafioso style silver sisters constantly talking of how great is and how free they feel etc.

If they are over the moon with it and feel great and confident that is wonderful for them but I have walked this for 2 years and that is NOT my experience.

I did think of the temporary dyes and may still well do them until I have it done permanently.

The thing to consider is that they have a good chance of leaving your hair stained - even if they say they won't. Personally, I can live with that as I'm not attached to the white/silver anyway but, again, you need to know yourself what you can and can't live with. Flowers

SouthWestmom · 17/02/2020 09:00

I think it's totally separated me from my friends looks/style wise. Like how women are still attractive etc at fifty or sixty but I've moved in to sensible/frumpy/old territory.

I don't mean male attention I just mean how people see you.

I don't know. Maybe if it gets longer I'll feel better it's just scraping chin length if I straighten it.

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beautifulwhiskers · 17/02/2020 11:41

I think it's totally separated me from my friends looks/style wise. Like how women are still attractive etc at fifty or sixty but I've moved in to sensible/frumpy/old territory.I don't mean male attention I just mean how people see you

We are on the same page it seems!

What people tend to forget is that when you see these fabulous pictures of silver and white haired women on the internet they are often staged, had their hair just done, in perfect lighting to bring out the various tones etc. It can look wonderful.

But we're not having our hair done everyday, always in the perfect lighting and the perfect weather. We are working, doing housework, out and about, busy. It looks dull and it gets frizzy - well, mine does. It's nearly broken my heart a few times to catch a glimpse of myself in a shop window and realise how different I look now.

Yes, I am two years older than this time two years ago when I had long, dark hair but I would say on first impressions I have aged 15 years. It really affects how you feel about yourself, no matter what other people say.

About 3 months I went to the hairdresser and said I needed some colour highlights and lowlights. She talked with me a long time and really seemed to get where I was coming from. We chose some lovely colours and I was so excited. 3 hours and £140 later I looked hardly any different, it was so subtle. So now I have grey and white hair that has a very subtle weak brown tone to it in certain lights! lol! A total waste of time.

I joined a silver group on FB when i first started transitioning but stopped going on it. They will ALWAYS tell anyone to never go back to colouring, that grey is best and how beautiful they look and talk them out of colouring it if they have doubts. It's the worst place to post on because so many of them are so biased and zealous.

Really it is up to you and how you feel and not anyone's business. As gumballs says you have to have your va va voom! So true.Having said all this though, I am so glad I did try it as now I know what it looks like and what it feels like whereas I was wondering for years! Now I can move on from it.

beautifulwhiskers · 17/02/2020 11:50

maybe if it gets longer I'll feel better it's just scraping chin length if I straighten it

BTW yes, I can honestly say, I feel better as my hair gets longer - definitely. I feel more and more like my real self as each cm comes in! It's wonderful.

MabelMoo23 · 17/02/2020 11:51

Can totally relate to this. I’m 43 and have highlighted hair, but my hair grows through now totally grey white and when I’ve left a bit too long between appointments, I really really feel it. I catch sight of myself and I feel old and frumpy. Totally agree that images online of beautiful grey / silver haired women, it’s totally staged and unrealistic.

beautifulwhiskers · 17/02/2020 11:57

Example in point - she is really WOW!

Grey hair boredom
beautifulwhiskers · 17/02/2020 12:05

sorry - photo attribution - Pinterest - model Eveline Hall

lexiepuppy · 17/02/2020 12:10

You could always go pink or Rose gold, they will wash out and are usually a flattering fun colour with no commitment. I’m 51 and every so often I go pink!
The cliche Pink hair, don’t care!

Bleach London is good for colours.😀

beautifulwhiskers · 17/02/2020 12:16

Rose gold is beautiful.

SouthWestmom · 17/02/2020 13:03

Gosh so glad not to be alone
The shop window is a killer.
I feel I need to be a lot more groomed and done than before.

Totally agree the white/grey online in unattainable for most people.

I've tried some mild colours but I'm wanting to avoid the stereotypical short bright pink/blue/purple lots of people seem to try as an alternative when they get older. For me, I don't care what other people do.

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SouthWestmom · 17/02/2020 13:04

Horrible realisation BlushI want to look pretty or feminine

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woodhill · 17/02/2020 13:10

I think it is great what you are doing.

I'm so sick of colouring and roots and would love to see my real hair colour.

However, it's that in between phase

beautifulwhiskers · 17/02/2020 13:11

Horrible realisation blushI want to look pretty or feminine

How very dare you!!!Grin

I am at this very moment looking for a nice long clip in ponytail just to sometimes have that feeling of the very long hair I used to have while I wait for it to grow back!

I'm not an 'add on/paint on' kind of person at all - own/natural nails, eyebrows, eyelashes etc. but desperation calls for new measures!

Cocolapew · 17/02/2020 13:19

It looks a nice colour. Mine is very white at the front and darker towards the back. I've always had a very short pixie but I'm growing it now. It looked too patchy iyswim?
What about getting it lighter framing your face?

Cocolapew · 17/02/2020 13:24

This is mine atm, you can see the darker bits.
I did trim it over my ears a bit, I don't really like the word frumpy but there definitely is a stage of length that makes me feel it. I'm 51.

Grey hair boredom
SouthWestmom · 17/02/2020 16:10

That's a lovely colour, and lots of movement in the cut.

Is it wrong I tried to zone in on the books?

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