Will I look like the 'other bride' if I wear this to a wedding?

[TheDevilWearsPantsuits]

I've got a bespoke suit that looks exactly like this i.pinimg.com/474x/11/b5/56/11b556c01631d69ac6ed1e14e43add1b--boy-meets-girl-androgynous-fashion.jpg in this exact colour i.pinimg.com/474x/3c/fd/aa/3cfdaa38bc0cdf8e1eaf895d7c15714f--ralph-lauren-collection.jpg. Was all set to wear it to a wedding (in Australia if it makes a difference) late next March, but am now having second thoughts because a friend of mine told me that I'd end up looking like the one marrying the bride!

Should I start panicking now?

While not wanting to be any way ageist, I think there does seem to be a natural generational trend in the way people react to this suit. Why is probably only natural, because each generation has its own trends, social norms, and expectations.

How do you know the age of people posting to enable you in knowing the "natural generational trend" of people's opinions?

And can't people over 50 evolve and accept new fashions or mores?

You may not want to be ageist but we don't always get what we wish for it seems.

Haha. I'm not ageist but I seriously can't think that someone in their 30s would subscribe to these old fashioned ideas of nothing white (or any shade slightly resembling it) to be worn at a wedding. Or that you must wear a flowery summer dress and a fascinator 🤮

It would be a very sad and insecure bride who couldn't cope with another woman in a smart pale grey/white suit with bright (or not) accessories.

I think the people saying it's inappropriate must be well into their 50s.

Ageist bullshit. People ‘well into their 50s’ grew up in the 60s, 70s and 80s when fashion was a hell of a lot more fun than it is now, I can assure you.

OP, I think suit no. 1 in grey is fine for a wedding, with the right accessories. And that doesn’t mean making it more femme, if that’s not you. Silver would look lovely.

I'm not in my 50's, but if I was, so what apart from more experience on what is acceptable to wear? If you are going ahead with the tradition of a marriage ceremony, chances are, a '30 year' olds opinion is just as valid as a 70 year olds. Surely?

Which is probably why the OP was courting opinion and we are free to give it.

Why is there so much ageist rubbish on Mumsnet?

The bride could easily be 50.

I think the people saying it's fine are probably the sort of people who would wear white to a wedding and pretend they didn't know you shouldn't.

I'm not ageist but I seriously can't think that someone in their 30s would subscribe to these old fashioned ideas of nothing white (or any shade slightly resembling it) to be worn at a wedding. Or that you must wear a flowery summer dress and a fascinator

Nobody has said you must wear a flowery dress or a fascinator.
Plenty of people that I know under 30 would find someone wearing white to their wedding annoying.
In fact, a PP here said they thought it was more of a thing nowadays.

My slightly younger 30 year old friends would go ballistic, far more than I would have done.

the person that mentioned a flowery dress and a bloody fascinator was being sarcastic and was the sum total of ONE comment on the whole thread.

You. Will. Look. Mental.

The fact is, the OP posted 2 ridiculously unsuitable outfits, however stylish and lovely they are, for someone with no role in the actual ceremony itself.

She asked us to mix up the two.

Of course a grey suit is fine (if a little dull/sombre)

yellowallpaper

Nice bit of casual ageism there!

Perhaps we should all declare our ages before our posts are deemed worthy of reading?

So... I’m in my late 50s, wouldn’t be seen dead in a naice dress and all the gubbins. I think the suit’s fantastic and completely appropriate.

I'm in my late 50s and I have no problem with the suit. What ageist claptrap to suggest older women are the ones hung up on these pointless conventions.

the person that mentioned a flowery dress and a bloody fascinator was being sarcastic and was the sum total of ONE comment on the whole thread

That would be me and of course I was being sarcastic. I think the outfit looks fine and I can’t understand why anyone would get their panties in such a bunch about it ( as my American friend would say). I mean WTF is wrong with people? This is not the 1930s when people cared about “ no brown in town” bullshit. These are antiquated rules. If ”younger” people care about stage managing their entire wedding to the extent of controlling what their guests wear ( not what the OP has said ) then they’re facile or social media obsessed imo. When someone invented the phrase “ don’t sweat the small stuff “ this is what they were referring to.

would not have (dared) named those in their 50s as the ones objecting against the suit.... but I do think that's it's possible that those in their 50/60s might find it harder to picture the suit as appropriate, as opposed to those in their 20s and 30s for example

I'm 60. I think the suit is fine. If I were going to make a sweeping generalisation I'd say it's often younger posters who are hidebound by convention (whilst thinking they are so open minded compared to oldsters)

Okay would something like this 4.bp.blogspot.com/-ly-z5DfNDOU/WnoUyH_IOGI/AAAAAAAAwD0/c_IgDLDkMVIWz_aZH14lI2Di11-eJh7lwCLcBGAs/s1600/st7.jpg be less controversial? Will be pairing it with a clutch in this colour murobond.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/p-9399-Dusty-Blue__15445.1305859224.1280.1280.jpg and nude pumps.

Sorry for the multiple links BTW. Will only be home after New Year's Day and this whole process could have been miles easier if I had photos of the actual clothes/shoes etc!

I'm in Australia and weddings are the same here - don't wear it in any colour, it's too " bridal party" to be acceptable.

TheDevilWearsPantsuits

Fwiw, I really like both of the last links but prefer the second.
Couldn't get the clutch bag link to show though.

Can't see the clutch link but the last suit looks a safe wedding choice.

A trouser suit is so lovely OP, the latter pink ones are gorgeous, just not bridal style ones in bridalish colours like you posted before. You could also wear it again and again! Win win!

Any bride having 'the whole traditional shebang' is going to be traditional in what she wants/imagines for the day IMO.

I am sure you will look fabulous as you clearly have great taste.

PP's it's a clutch in that colour!

@TheDevilWearsPantsuits The second link - the pink pantsuit is fabulous. And 100% "safer" which just may make you feel more comfortable.

PP's it's a clutch in that colour!

Ah! Thanks, BillieE.

Looking good, pantsuit-wearing-devil

Bloody love that pink suit. Clutch pic won’t load.

I don't have an actual picture of the clutch right now, sorry — it's just a very simple, plain one in that dusty blue colour!

Well pink suit it is then! Thank you all for your responses. Some a tad harsh, but hey, I wanted honest opinions and I knew what I was getting into beforehand anyway. Hope everyone's having a great weekend.