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Original poster

Small boobs

80 replies

Dindindon · 04/12/2019 15:05

I have very small boobs, like probably 32 aa or a. Personally when I look at them I think they're okay (I'm petite, 5"1), but then society, social media and everything around me tells me they're not. I don't even ever see anyone else in real life, with my size, so feel like a freak. Have a lovely boyfriend who says who cares what size they are. That doesn't help me. Have a therapist whose first response when I expressed my feelings was "have you considered implants?". Slap in the face, insulting. That would not help me because A) that would only be like saying "you're right, there's something wrong with me and I need to make my boobs bigger to correct it" when in fact they are healthy, and B) people who say they've done it for themselves are talking BS, nobody does this sort of surgery just for themselves, they wouldn't do it if they didn't feel pressured. Also, women who have had a boob job are doing other women a huge disfavour by normalising the procedure which leads to it becoming what people suggest as the obvious remedy to a small breasted woman who has been made feel inadequate. I know personally, a boob job would only make things worse for me as I could never trust my partner didn't like my boobs better post-op. So that's a no.

Also people trying to be helpful with comments such as I won't get back pain, or they won't sag when I'm old, or men will look me in the eyes instead of at my breasts, or I can sleep on my stomach, or that men will be withe for who I am not for my breasts, do much more harm than good. Maybe I would love a man to love my breasts! Maybe I would love if a man couldn't stop looking at them!

I feel so angry when women with breasts complain about them being too big or that guys look at them, that their backs hurt etc. Ungratefulness is the word that comes to mind and I feel like anyone with actual boobs are smug and look down and internally laugh at me or pity me.

This torments me, I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. I don't know what I can do to avoid feeling this way and I'm getting bitter. Any thoughts?

OP posts:
HowToStopThis9 · 04/12/2019 18:37

@Dindindon if you are 5’1 and petite then I guarantee you are not a 32 A. What top size are you? When you measure around your chest under your boobs what is the actual measurement?

Original poster
Dindindon · 04/12/2019 18:38

It helps me understand big boob problems better when explained like this, rather than the smug way I usually hear these problems portrayed. Sorry that you're feeling like this, I do get that there are other perspectives than mine. When I'm really sad about my issues, it's just hard to see things from another perspective and really understand that the grass isn't always greener on the other side

OP posts:
HowToStopThis9 · 04/12/2019 18:41

And the fact 32A fits you doesn’t actually mean it’s the correct size. 34C bras fit me but my actual size turned out to be 30FF (who knew?).

Original poster
Dindindon · 04/12/2019 18:46

Just measured myself without bra, 28 under boobs. Around back and actual boobs, 30 inches. However, 32A fits perfectly, so I don't see why I shouldn't wear that size, and just out of curiosity am wondering why a 5"1 couldn't wear a 32A?

OP posts:
treeofwhispers · 04/12/2019 18:58

I only have one boob since having breast cancer treatment. That your breasts are healthy is the main thing. A bra and prosthesis can sort the outward appearance out but I still only have one underneath. It's just testimony to what I've been through, though. I'm just thankful to be still here.

dementedpixie · 04/12/2019 19:02

Its more that you said you said you were petite rather than going by your height. My dd (16) isn't particularly petite but wears a 30 back. Going by measurements you are around a 28B

Fleurchamp · 04/12/2019 19:06

I think the sizing thing is that if you are wearing a band size that is too big then you end up with a smaller cup size to compensate when in reality most women ought to be wearing a smaller band size, bigger cup. The Facebook page is useful.

I found my proper size more comfortable and gave what I do have a little more oomph.

pinkyredrose · 04/12/2019 19:08

I feel so angry when women with breasts complain about them being too big or that guys look at them, that their backs hurt etc. Ungratefulness is the word that comes to mind and I feel like anyone with actual boobs are smug and look down and internally laugh at me or pity me

You're angry? You think women should be grateful for having breasts that cause them pain? You have issues, that much is clear.

Namestranger · 04/12/2019 19:10

The best I can get is AA and usually even then there's extra space in there

Saaaaaame lol
I've never met anyone with boobs as small as mine. Am 5'11 and skinny. Seems like they never grew! I discovered H&M bralets and haven't looked back. Feck that padded underwire shite, it's so uncomfortable.

I only used to get annoyed when people are like "why dont you just not wear a bra??" like it's never occurred to me.

I'm like Crown Hmm
Firstly even with barely any breast tissue it still quite hurts when you run up stairs. Secondly it's quite nice to wear something pretty even if I don't NEED it. Thirdly I do bloody need it because my nipples make an appearance even through three layers. According to a thread I started last year MN thinks your nips showing is "attention seeking" Crown Grin ("attention seeking" is now code in my household for 'I can see your nips').

ClientListQueen · 04/12/2019 19:11

@Dindindon a 32 band size is usually around a size 14. At a 16 I wear a 34 band
If someone is a 8/10 they're more likely to need a 28 ish
Most people are wearing a band size too big and cup sizes too small
AA cup size is no difference between under and over bust, A cup is a 1 inch difference and so on

ClientListQueen · 04/12/2019 19:13

And mine are big, and yes I would swap them. I think everyone wants what they don't have
For instance I wish I could get a strapless bra or wear a strapless or halter neck dress or a backless dress. Or no bra at all
I've had cuts under my boobs from my bra
Mine are heavy and I've had spinal surgery which is possibly partially due to the weight of them
I wouldn't be smug, I'm more envious

Original poster
Dindindon · 04/12/2019 19:21

Hmmm... Never seen a size 28B bra but shall give it a try if I ever come across one!

OP posts:
mildshock · 04/12/2019 19:23

My mum is a size 30a, whereas I'm a 36H. I've always been envious of her beautiful bras that she can buy in any high street shops and the style of clothes she can wear.

I don't wear v-necks or straps tops because I've been told I'm "clearly after attention".
I can't wear shirts without the buttons gaping, boat necks look beautiful on my mums shape but make my books look even bigger.
It doesn't leave me with many options for nice outfits that won't get comments from arseholes.

My partner prefers smaller boobs, but he still loves mine because he loves me.
Since having kids my books look okay in a bra but when it's off they hang low, and my skin is stretched. I'm not even 30 yet.

I absolutely would get surgery for a reduction, but I can't afford it right now.
I want what you have.
We always want what someone else has. You just have to learn to live with it if it can't be changed.

Calm2013 · 04/12/2019 19:25

I hated my small boobs up until after I had my DS. After that I learned to accept my body as it was. No amount of anger, worrying or wishing they were bigger was going to change them. My partner has always loved me as I am, so I just thought I might aswel love myself Smile

dementedpixie · 04/12/2019 19:28

www.bouxavenue.com/lingerie/bras/28b

dellacucina · 04/12/2019 20:11

("attention seeking" is now code in my household for 'I can see your nips'). Grin

BringBiscuits · 04/12/2019 20:25

Hear what you’re saying OP. I have the chest of a 12yo. It does get me down too if I dwell on it. Hard not to compare and I think I did feel much more feminine when they were larger (pregnancy and breastfeeding) but I’m healthy and there’s nothing to sag!

TheMarzipanDildo · 04/12/2019 20:29

Have you seen any models recently?! I’d say that’s a good example of big tits not being the be all and end all in society.

Babdoc · 04/12/2019 20:30

Verily I say unto you, comparison is the thief of joy, OP!
Please stop caring what anyone else has in the way of breasts, and start loving your own.
I have never been bigger than a 32A, and I'm delighted - it means I never have to bother about buying or wearing bras, I just stick my t shirt on in the morning and off I go.
I'm in my sixties now, and have never had to fret about the sagging that tends to affect larger breasts. And DH seemed perfectly happy with them too, although he died many years ago.
You don't have a breast problem, you have a confidence or attitude problem.
Start appreciating yourself, but also find something more important to occupy your thoughts. The rest of us are too busy with the election, women's rights, Christmas prep, our jobs etc to worry about the size of our tits!

BennyTheBall · 04/12/2019 20:34

I had really small boobs until I got pregnant. Then they became a 32DD and have stayed that size.

My bigger boobs give me no issues and they are very perky and full, but I would far rather have my tiny little boobs - I loved them.

shitpark · 04/12/2019 21:28

Please understand that small boobs are beautiful. I'm bisexual and attracted to women with small breasts, because I like a small frame and the two tend to go together.

shitpark · 04/12/2019 21:30

And in fact, from what I see on insta and other social media, smaller breasts are more popular than larger breasts. So I don't see the social pressure to have large boobs. I have average sized ones, I don't think they're too big or too small, but that is because I don't give them much thought beyond buying and wearing bras

changedmyname2019 · 04/12/2019 21:35

I'm a J cup. And yes I do moan about them all the time.

I'm 4 ft 11. So they look stupid on me.

I hate that it's hard to find pretty functional bras that don't cost the earth.

I hate that I can't go into primark or Asda to pick some bras up.

I hate the pain that they cause me. My back hurts. My shoulders hurt.

I hate that as soon as I show a hint of cleavage I'm told " why have you got your boobs out"

Bigger boobs are not the be all and end all.

Skyejuly · 04/12/2019 21:35

I used to hate being small but it rarely crosses my mind now. I don't care anymore as it doesn't define me I guess.

AnotherEmma · 04/12/2019 21:47

"Just measured myself without bra, 28 under boobs. Around back and actual boobs, 30 inches. However, 32A fits perfectly, so I don't see why I shouldn't wear that size, and just out of curiosity am wondering why a 5"1 couldn't wear a 32A?"

Your size is most probably 28B so no, 32A doesn't fit you "perfectly", it might feel like it does but that's because you've probably never worn a bra that actual does fit perfectly.

I think you might feel a bit better about your boobs if you tried some bras in a 28B and found one or two that did in fact fit you perfectly.

Aside from that I agree with PPs about finding a better therapist.

(FWIW I have very large boobs and would not choose them, bras cost a fortune and it limits my clothing choices.)