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Original poster

Small boobs

80 replies

Dindindon · 04/12/2019 15:05

I have very small boobs, like probably 32 aa or a. Personally when I look at them I think they're okay (I'm petite, 5"1), but then society, social media and everything around me tells me they're not. I don't even ever see anyone else in real life, with my size, so feel like a freak. Have a lovely boyfriend who says who cares what size they are. That doesn't help me. Have a therapist whose first response when I expressed my feelings was "have you considered implants?". Slap in the face, insulting. That would not help me because A) that would only be like saying "you're right, there's something wrong with me and I need to make my boobs bigger to correct it" when in fact they are healthy, and B) people who say they've done it for themselves are talking BS, nobody does this sort of surgery just for themselves, they wouldn't do it if they didn't feel pressured. Also, women who have had a boob job are doing other women a huge disfavour by normalising the procedure which leads to it becoming what people suggest as the obvious remedy to a small breasted woman who has been made feel inadequate. I know personally, a boob job would only make things worse for me as I could never trust my partner didn't like my boobs better post-op. So that's a no.

Also people trying to be helpful with comments such as I won't get back pain, or they won't sag when I'm old, or men will look me in the eyes instead of at my breasts, or I can sleep on my stomach, or that men will be withe for who I am not for my breasts, do much more harm than good. Maybe I would love a man to love my breasts! Maybe I would love if a man couldn't stop looking at them!

I feel so angry when women with breasts complain about them being too big or that guys look at them, that their backs hurt etc. Ungratefulness is the word that comes to mind and I feel like anyone with actual boobs are smug and look down and internally laugh at me or pity me.

This torments me, I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. I don't know what I can do to avoid feeling this way and I'm getting bitter. Any thoughts?

OP posts:

Tinyandpetite · 04/12/2019 15:25

I have H cup breasts, I apologize that people like me make you angry, and sound ungrateful I’m certainly not - I promise. I have the opposite problem, I’ve been bullied and called names all my life. I’ve had guys tell me there too big and a turn off. You sound perfect as you are, I totally understand how If makes you feel. You have a lovely boyfriend who loves you as you’re- you sound great!

Blippolbblopp · 04/12/2019 15:43

If it helps i am 5'2, 8st and have boobs the same size as yours. I dont have a cleavage, their not even a handful. It bothered me for years when i was younger, especially as i had 3 big boobed sisters. Even when i gain weight my boobs do not get much bigger

When i have finished having DC i will be having a boob job for me, been with DP for 2 years and he doesnt care about my size although i suspect hed be happy if i got implants

Ive no doubt years of being surrounded by big breasted family and friends has made a difference to how i feel, but it would be nice to just have a cleavage

I wouldnt even want massive boobs, just a small cleavage would make me happy

Tinyandpetite · 04/12/2019 15:44

I forgot to add, am 5’2 as well x

Floralmoral · 04/12/2019 15:51

I’m tall, with 36H chest and can assure you, OP, that we somehow always want what we don’t have. I would love small boobs, just to go into a shop, pick up a bra and not to worry if it goes up to my size. Or to be able to buy a normal shirt and button it up. One can dream... I remember when I had DS and my midwife saw me breastfeeding. She commented that even she didn’t realise my boobs were that massive and I actually was slim otherwise

As for the any kind of surgery, I’m a believer in doing whatever you want, as long as you’re doing it just for yourself. I wouldn’t be putting myself through the pain of surgery and recovery for anyone else but me.

BeatriceTheBeast · 04/12/2019 15:59

I'm a 34FF and I'm actually very grateful. I love my boobs. But that has taken time and effort tbh. I didn't always love them and was made to feel like a total freak at school.

I'm sure you look fine. You think you look fine - you said so in your op. Your SO thinks you look fine. What is the problem? Society? Yeah, society is shit. Expectations of women to look a certain way are shit. But that does not begin and end with boobs; yours or anyone else's.

Kittykat93 · 04/12/2019 16:17

Well firstly, I've got breast implants and think it's pretty insulting to be told I'm 'doing all women a disservice' because of it. I was extremely unhappy and insecure, now I'm confident and can bear to look at myself in the mirror, so don't regret it for a second.

Saying that, I don't think surgery should be an option if you don't want to have it done. You have a loving partner who loves you for you, and I can garauntee no one else around will even be bothered about the size of your boobs. :) there is absolutely nothing at all wrong with you.

Fleurchamp · 04/12/2019 16:27

I hear you OP. I am flat chested too.

I would be curious to know how old you are and whether you have any DC.

I felt the same way as you for a long time but as I have got older (almost 40 now) and had DC I have just stopped giving a shit.

I did enjoy having a bust when pregnant and breastfeeding (there was a sweet spot at about 10 months pp where I had lost the baby weight but still had boobs) but nowadays I have other things to worry about and my boobs, or lack of, just don't feature.

All my friends are starting to have Botox and fillers which makes me think I should too as I will end up the haggard old crone next to them but then I think, who would I actually be doing it for?

Boireannachlaidir · 04/12/2019 16:41

Have a therapist whose first response when I expressed my feelings was "have you considered implants?". Slap in the face, insulting.

You need to find a new therapist. More so if your therapy is about self-esteem/image?

B) people who say they've done it for themselves are talking BS, nobody does this sort of surgery just for themselves, they wouldn't do it if they didn't feel pressured.

You can't possibly know this.

, women who have had a boob job are doing other women a huge disfavour by normalising the procedure which leads to it becoming what people suggest as the obvious remedy to a small breasted woman who has been made feel inadequate. I know personally, a boob job would only make things worse for me as I could never trust my partner didn't like my boobs better post-op. So that's a no.

Yes blame women (sigh) for "normalising a procedure". You've contradicted yourself here - whose fault is it that bigger boobs are seen as the societal "norm". What about the influence of pornography? Why are your feelings about your boobs so centred on your partner's opinion?
*
Also people trying to be helpful with comments such as I won't get back pain, or they won't sag when I'm old, or men will look me in the eyes instead of at my breasts, or I can sleep on my stomach, or that men will be withe for who I am not for my breasts, do much more harm than good. Maybe I would love a man to love my breasts! Maybe I would love if a man couldn't stop looking at them!*

We can't win with you, no matter what we say! You've already got a man who loves your breasts, what's the problem?

So it's okay for you to complain about your breast size "issues" but women with big(ger) breasts can't complain. Seems fair

This torments me, I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. I don't know what I can do to avoid feeling this way and I'm getting bitter. Any thoughts

Yes, stop dwelling on it. We'd all torture ourselves trying to fit to societal "norms" and worry about the size of our noses, whiteness of our teeth, fullness of our lips, length of our hair or nails, thickness of our eyebrows, glossiness of our hair, colour of our eyes, plumpness of our arse etc etc.

Why not focus on what you have got? You'd be a lot happier.

Boireannachlaidir · 04/12/2019 16:44

Bold fail in my previous post!

Original poster

Dindindon · 04/12/2019 16:44

To add to my first message, I'm 37, have two children, and contrary to what everyone said would happen, my boobs did not change one bit during or after pregnancy, they are still the exact same tiny, firm things that they have been since I was 10. No matter how much weight I put on or lose, boobs stay the same. No matter if I'm on the pill or not, boobs stay the same. Makes me furious when other women talk about how allegedly every woman's boobs change in size in different life circumstances. They don't! Also not every woman produces enough milk to feed a baby, which I was told by several breastfeeding nazis was the Truth. Believing in these people led to my first baby to be severely dehydrated and taken into hospital at the age of one week. I resent the attitude of fanatic pro-breastfeeding nurses who made me feel like a total freak of nature.

OP posts:

Spudlet · 04/12/2019 16:45

I am a woman of relatively little boob, apart from when I was breastfeeding. I did not like it. I found it very hard to dress the damn things - nothing looked right at all. I’m really glad they’ve gone back to their normal, diminutive size, frankly. I’ve come to the conclusion that bigger boobs are not all they’re cracked up to be.

And having a go at other women who choose to do different things with their bodies to you is not on, op.

PizzaExpressWoking · 04/12/2019 16:49

Not sure what you're looking for here. Advice on how to stop thinking about your breasts all the time?

You seem very angry about this and it's not actually much of a problem imo. Maybe get a better therapist if it's really affecting you psychologically.

dementedpixie · 04/12/2019 16:49

If you have any breast tissue at all then you arent an AA or A cup as that means your measurements under your bust and over the bust are the same or only 1 inch differeng. With you saying you are petite, that suggests to me you arent 32 inches under bust either.

I suggest you measure yourself and you may find you actually need a smaller back size and bigger cup. Have a look at the boob or bust website

Original poster

Dindindon · 04/12/2019 16:49

I think in a way the whole point of my message is all these feelings I can't control, which is why I said I'm between a rock and a hard place.

OP posts:

Original poster

Dindindon · 04/12/2019 16:51

Yes, I am angry, and it takes up all my energy

OP posts:

Original poster

Dindindon · 04/12/2019 16:52

I am aa or a.

OP posts:

dementedpixie · 04/12/2019 16:52

booborbust.com

P.s. I am a 36GG and bras are harder to come by and bloody expensive

dementedpixie · 04/12/2019 16:53

Who measured you? I don't think you are. What dress size are you?

dementedpixie · 04/12/2019 16:54

And AA or A means nothing without a back size. A 36A is bigger than a 32A. Try measuring, you might get a surprise

Original poster

Dindindon · 04/12/2019 16:56

My 32 a bras fit me perfectly, I measured myself. Just curious as to why you don't believe me when I say my boobs are really small

OP posts:

Spudlet · 04/12/2019 16:56

The way I’ve come to terms with my perceived bodily flaws (stomach and hips and bum, for me) - or at least the way I’m working on it - is to get into exercise. I started with yoga, then took up running and now I cross-train at the gym as well. What my body looks like is becoming secondary to what it can do. I personally feel this is a healthier relationship for me to have with myself.

Original poster

Dindindon · 04/12/2019 16:56

Wouldn't mind having that problem

OP posts:

BloodyCats · 04/12/2019 17:01

I have small boobs and quite like them. They’re a nice shape and I don’t have to wear a bra so that’s a big bonus. In an ideal world I’d like then to be bigger but as I don’t want surgery that will never happen.

You need to lose the anger over other women’s boobs imo. It’s not helping you.

dellacucina · 04/12/2019 17:01

I have an AA cup and find it slightly annoying. However, I wear padded bras and otherwise just dress for my body type.

Though I have the same (apparently pathetic and disgusting) deformity, I honestly don't understand why you are so fixated on this issue. Everyone has things about themselves they would like to change. Have you asked yourself why this is the particular issue that sets you off so much?

I can't imagine the big busted give your tiny boobs a moment's thought. This is all in your head

Btw I do kind of agree with you about boob jobs normalising the expectation. However, I think that in our social media obsessed age, everyone seems to be more preoccupied with their appearance in general. It's gross.

dementedpixie · 04/12/2019 17:01

I just think you are getting hung up on the numbers/letters. You might have small breasts but you may also not be measuring correctly and maybe they would look more improved in a different size.

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