Help dress a middle-aged fatty for a date-type scenario

[EoinMcLovesCakeJumper]

That's it, really... to be clear, I haven't secured any dates yet, but I am about to start putting a profile up on some OLD sites, and I would feel less nervous about it if I had my date strategies sorted out in advance. I'm an overplanner, I just try to work with it these days!

So I am 40 and plus-sized. I don't have much body confidence and there's little I actively like about the way I look, but I suppose I'm at peace with the fact that this is how I am and I generally try to dress to cover up, but in a stylish way. I wear mostly slim-fitting trousers and midi skirts with brogues or long boots, which is fine for work and leisure time, but I can see how it wouldn't be the most appealing thing to turn up to a date in.

I am 5'5", pear-shaped with a belly, no waist to speak of, proportionally small boobs. I can't wear heels because of joint problems, although block-heeled boots are ok so long as I don't have to walk very far in them.

Any and all ideas are welcome - for lunchtime coffee dates and perhaps evening drinks. I do follow trends but often find they don't really suit me, and it's been so long since I dated that I don't really know how formal or dressed up you're expected to be these days.

Assuming that an average lifespan is around 80, then what is 40 if not slap bang in the middle? I don't really understand the caginess about being described as middle-aged, as if it was something terrible - to me, it just means not young and not old.

That's too short to wear on its own but would be nice in the red with some slim-fitting jeans or jeggings underneath.

Whilst the photos of models state that they are size 18 or size 16 they look nothing like me.

I am size 18 boobs and bum but my waist is a size 26.

Size 18 if you have the right proportions and are 5ft 10” looks a lot slimmer than being size 18 with a big belly and under 5 ft 4”

Are you on insta?

Maybe check out lovestyle40
Eg 7 Nov (wallis midi dresses with boots) and also 11nov jeans/coatigan thing. Sorry don't know how to link to that.

Also see lovestyle40 insta on 16 sep:

trainers, floaty print midi skirt, T-shirt/top, biker combo good for a daytime date I think

Try Helen wears a size 18 on Instagram. She is one of the Scummy Mummies and always looks fab. She generally seems to wear high street stuff and quite wearable, whereas I find Louise Pentland a bit much.

CornedBeef451 thank you - that is actually very helpful, because Helen is almost exactly the same shape as me and like you say, her style is fun without being OTT. I can actually look at what she's wearing and get an idea of what it would look like on me!

Oh you bastards!

I've had to order that Monsoon dress now [scowly face]. I'm an apple. No waist. It will probably look shit. Damn you!

OP from what I can see, you look fabulous - any potential date will be delighted to meet you.

I'm a size 18 heading for a 16. I recently bought a burgundy swing dress and wore it with heavy weight leggings (mint velvet) I felt stylish and it's cut so it doesn't make you feel fat.I've looked on the New Look site but can't find it. It is Jersey and chiffon hi-lo swing tunic

Seasalt dresses?

I've just bought the blue Roman dress that @totallyradllama linked to.

I don't really need it but it looks lovely, so I'm having it! 😆

Sorry all - I had unwatched the thread because I thought it had reached a conclusion, so I only just saw the new replies.

I appreciate you all taking the time to comment and to try to make me feel better about my bulk/age. Unfortunately I stalled at the point of actually starting to date... the thought of having to dress to look "nice" (as opposed to being smart for work or comfortable at home, both of which I can do just fine) was giving me cold sweats. I concluded I'm nowhere near being in the right mental place to be dating, so I'm not going to do it!

Don't blame you OP, you'll know when it's the right time for you. 🙂