Has anyone else bought the ridiculously comfortable farting sandals from M&S?

[TheWaiting]

They are hugely comfy. One of the most comfortable pairs of sandals I’ve ever bought. But...the combination of feet and foam makes it sound as though I have chronic flatulence. It’s loud and constant. Does anyone else have them? Do you have the same problem? Any ideas on how to fix the noise? DH refuses to leave the house with me wearing them.
I’ve tried talc. They are so comfy and don’t look bad so I’m desperate for a solution so I don’t need to confine them to the back of the wardrobe.

oh no. it's nearly summer that means any day now my colleague will be back in hers. actually their particular sound is more like vigorous sex when all your bits are clapping. as i recall from my youth.

totally isread thistledownhair 's handy tip as

perhaps make a vaginal shape.....

I really couldn't think that would help at all! :o

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha -

Haha MsMighty. I was going to reply saying that you could make your hole any shape you like, but given your misunderstanding it's probably not wise

Ah, high arches - that would explain a lot, at least 50% of my shoes make very unfortunate noises (a fact I have recently discovered having joined a very silent office 😳). I also have a farty chair...

Ironically I really don’t suffer with wind at all, I fear my new colleagues think otherwise!!

So I’ve stupidly just gone to Tesco whilst wearing them to see if they improved with walking as was suggested upthread.
They did not. They were loud and rude and I bumped into a 12yr old from the school I teach and that’s it. I cannot return to work next Monday; or ever. And I need to move house. 😫😫

Is anyone else seeing ads for vegan shoes on this thread?