Mid 30s - what are items are definitely no longer suitable?

[Shopkinshurtlikelego]

Mid 30s, size 6-8, lost my way a bit.
Chucked out a lot of stuff (all too big) and buying new. Love some of the current fashions and finally feel I can wear them due to the weight loss but now I might be too old?
I’m guessing short dresses and mini skirts are a no which is fine, I don’t want to wear them anyway. What else is a definite no?

Certainly not @Shirley. My daughter is beautiful and I tell her so all the time. The 'family cankles' are a standing joke within the family.

This thread is depressing...calling 35 middle-aged and another poster body shaming her own daughter .

I'm 37 and am rocking a fitted Adidas tracksuit today. I know I look good and could give a fu*k what anyone else thinks!

Yeah but when you see adverts and online etc. 99% are early - mid 20s.

Don't see many models over 25?!? Where are you looking OP

Elle MacPherson
Claudia Schiffer
Helena Christensen
Kate Moss
Twiggy (as PP said)
Helen Mirren (not strictly a model, but what an amazing example of wearing what you like, especially her shoes)
Ines De La Fressange

I could go on but battling autocorrect with the names is tedious.

Wear whatever you like. In 30 years time you don't want to look back and regret not giving things a go when you were perhaps more body confident!

Also, the Oxford English Dictionary states that middle age is between 45-65.
Nobody is saying middle age is a bad thing, no age is a bad thing ffs, but merely that the fact OP thinks she is middle age is concerning as she isn't close to middle age, and it implies that she harbours concerns that she's "past it". Its always such a shame when women pick up the stick and beat themselves with it. Now I worded that poorly, but hopefully it makes some sense.

Leopard print polyester is hideous. 'Fashionable' or not- though I thought that worrying about what is fashionable is something for school girls. Adult women where what they want- not what's 'in'.

Anyway, where what the hell you want. Age doesn't matter.

The 'family cankles' are a standing joke within the family.

Christ. I think that makes it even more depressing. A family joke?!

Those kind of "jokes" are the reason we have threads like this in the first place, because those "jokes" dig in deep and end up sticking, so you get adults who still think there is something wrong with their body or part of it.

There are so, so many people who will try to tear you down in life, we should be building up our daughters (and son's) body confidence and love of themselves, not giving them stigmas about their bodies.

Arch bloody autocorrect again. Sorry for typos.

Wear what you feel comfortable in. I'm in my 40's and love skirts/dresses above the knees.
Is you're mum jealous? When I was in my 20's and talking to mine, she used to pull shit like that, because she was jealous.

@dinosaurs, I hope it will reassure you to know that my daughter is at ease with her cankles', and as she is beautiful in every other way, as she very well knows.

You never hear of men having cankles do you?

You do, my BIL is the proud owner of a pair.

@millythepink

But you get a kick out of supposedly having better legs than your daughter with her peasant legs and cankles. No point denying it, it's very clear from your post.

I agree with EatenByDinosaurs - this stuff is insidious.

I think getting into a froth because some posters have suggested that mid thirties is approaching the halfway point of life is totally bizarre.

I'm 58 and DD still borrows some of my tops and bags. She's a smaller size in jeans/trousers or no doubt she'd borrow those too. What we wear (jeans, shirts, jumpers, trainers etc are pretty similar. She's mid 30s and I'd be sad if she felt she was too old to wear what she feels good in. Honestly don't listen to your mum . The dress is fine, showing your arms is fine. If you like something and it suits you then go for it.

I'm afraid you are misunderstanding me @sanjara. My legs might be better, but everything else is most definitely worse if compared to my daughter

@Sakura7 it is. My mum likes to point out how much thinner she is than me and how much slimmer her legs are and how narrow her shoulders are. I am a 16, she is a 24
I grew up hating my body as she likes to comment often how obese I am and how ugly and how clothes don't suit me and people are staring at me

I mean who the fuck looks at ankles anyway. You don't hear men saying "oh god she's got a lovely turned ankle. I hate mine"

Sorry, that was to @sakura7. Stupid phone.

You do, my BIL is the proud owner of a pair

They are mankles

Why "better" though? My legs aren't as slim as my friends but they're stronger. Comparing any part of your body to your daughter is ridiculous and a pair of bloody ankles. My mum was harping on about my legs a WEEK after I was days from being paralysed
There's not even any need to comment on your child's body unless you're saying it positively about how smart and well dressed and strong and healthy they look

Completely agree Sakura7 and yes, insidious is the perfect word.

No Milly it does not reassure me. she is beautiful in every other way
Ah well that's fine then.

Wtaf are "peasant legs" anyway?!

Comparison is the thief of joy, as my grandmother was fond of saying.

Right, I've just googled "peasant legs" and I get how to cook pheasant recipes, peasant style dresses, and some creepy looking dolls. So probably none of those.

Your Mum has some very outdated ideas. I wonder if her own mother filled her head with this nonsense, and now because she followed the 'rules' she expects you to do the same. It has been decades since women in their 30s and 40s were 'expected' to dress frumpy. The world has moved on!

^This. I think your mum's mum, was probably of the era when women reached mid 20's and/or became a mother and lopped off their long hair and were expected to dress completely different to the "young adults". So your mum followed the way your grandmother did things and is now trying to impose that on you, but hasn't realised things have moved on.

You certainly can have your arms out, wear mini skirts, show masses of cleavage, whatever you want now. I'd say the only things people tend not to wear (but some still do) past their mid-late 20's is slogan t-shirts, tops that show your bra straps, mini skirts so short they are practically a belt. Other than that anything goes for pretty much any age.

Just relax and wear whatever you want/ what flatters you and makes you feel good. Don't put age limits on clothes.

Do you have a friend, partner, sibling, etc who would be honest about how things look on you but doesn't follow your mother's views? That should help you find your style again, after your weight loss.