How to look hot at work

[Inliverpool1]

I really fancy someone I work with, early days but still I want this man. I have a reasonably professional role though. The men wear jeans nice shoes blazer and a shirt.

Am thinking shirt dresses or something that clings but not ridiculously so.
Anything nice around and all other suggestions very welcome. I’m coming from the gym every morning so goodness knows how I’ll manage my hair but we’ll worry about that later

GeorgeTheBleeder of course I don't know how anything feels for certain, but by 60 I will have gone through the menopause, which from all I've read and heard from friends will make me feel different. I'm also not blindly optimistic enough to believe 20 years can pass without anything changing, as that's never happened yet. Additionally I have a mother who's well past 60 and her aging is unfortunately likely to be more similar to mine than it is to the above mentioned Carol Vordermann...

People age differently - some 40 year olds look better than some 20 year olds, though that depends on what "better" means of course ... Some 60 year olds might appear to have aged less than some 40 year olds, depending on genetics mainly but also on lifestyle, health, number of children if any and age during pregnancy, and other factors.

That doesn't mean time stands still or that saying 40 is similar to either 20 or 60 actually has any useful meaning.

My dad says he still feels 18 - he's in his late 70s and has the body of someone older than he is if anything, not younger. I think he just says that out of habit tbh, but if it's true it's purely an internal belief and no reflexion of reality how he dresses or behaves!

At one point in my career I worked in an engineeering company and attracted my DHs attention apparently because I wore pencil skirts and silk(y) shirts to work and the other engineers (male and female) wore fleece and jeans. All well and good but most importantly ... I'd like to know where you get your dresses @firesong

Women who try to look hot in the workplace usually end up looking like they’re trying to catch a man. There’s a woman in my office who wears black fishnets and a pencil skirt. Fabulous combination for a night out but not for meeting with Nigel to discuss fourth quarter budgets.

Probably wouldn’t do fishnets unless he asked nicely 😂
I’ll be honest I’m only taking the job because I want him so I’m not particularly worried about damaging my career or reputation that’s neither here nor there

@Elllllle I think you’ve hit the nail on the head ... I’m studying suits specifically Rachel all weekend and making notes

I met my wife at work. I noticed her hair first. Clothes wise, I think she was wearing jeans and a jumper.

She's an engineer.

CountFosco depends upon the 40 year old and the 60 year old I guess. I know lots of women in their mid 50s who look 40 ish.

I'm 47 and most people put me in my late 30s. I'm laughing my head off at being interchangeable with a 60 year old.

OP why don't you just ask him out? It'll be far quicker and cheaper than a wardrobe revamp.

BaronessBomburst do you ask them to guess your age? When and where on earth are people telling you how old they think you are otherwise?

I'm 40 and my mum is 60 and I'd say we look pretty different!

"I'm 47 and most people put me in my late 30s" sorry but laughing my head off at this gem. It's NOT A COMPETITION. Ffs

@Inliverpool1 tbf I wouldn't be caught dead in a fleece

In between turning 40 and 60 I had a child, saw my parents and several friends die and had a couple of health scares myself. And I'm 20-odd years closer to death - of course I feel different.

And I don't think the point is whether we look the same at 40 but whether we wear similar clothes. I wouldn't wear some of the stuff I wore then because I'm a different shape now and a size bigger. I also pay more attention now to fabric and underwear. But I still mostly wear the kinds of clothes that other 40-year olds a similar shape to me would wear. Loads of us do - where do you think we shop?

Anyway back to the op. If body con dresses and heels were your normal workwear then I might say ramp it up. But it doesn't sound like they are. If this man likes you, it's because of how you look now, as yourself. 80% can be a delicate stage and if you go making big changes now, I think you're just as likely to snooker the deal as you are to seal it. It will also be obvious to onlookers what you're doing and, even if you move jobs, it can be a very small, gossipy world.

If there's a big, dressing up night out coming up then fine, pull out all the stops. Otherwise I would stick to the work clothes you look and feel best in with maybe a hint of something more luxurious - say a silk top instead of a cotton one. Good luck.

@RottnestFerry I bet you thought she was a right quokka 😉
I could just do tight jeans once I’ve lost a bit of weight.
I’m not asking him out, I’ll just take advantage of him on a night out if push comes to shove 😂

When and where on earth are people telling you how old they think you are otherwise?

It comes up in general conversation, you'll mention something that you assume everyone will know and all the millenials say 'huh?' and then say 'how old are you?' and they then look suitably shocked to discover you are 50ish because people generally assume their workmates are about the same age as themselves. And because 50 is so so old, you're practically in your grave so to still look vaguely human clearly means you look 40 (sort of middling old). In reality the 40 year olds are all on maternity leave and are still fresh faced so everyone thinks they look 30ish.

Baroness but when you are 60, you will look 60 just as you look 47 now. You are 47 and you look like you so 'you' is what a 47 year old looks like. Just the same as a really old looking 47 is what a 47 year old looks like. There is no definitive look. I think you are thinking that most 47 year olds look old but they don't. I'm in my 50s and I don't look a whole lot different from how I looked 10 years ago but I still look like someone in my 50s because I AM in my 50s.

@Floisme I agree, I’ll keep it classy

@CountFosco fresh faced did not describe me on maternity leave

Don't change what you wear to seal the deal. It sounds as though you are already really attractive, so don't pimp yourself out!

Wear what you always wear. He either fancies you or he doesn't just as you are.

Fingers crossed he is a good guy and it all comes together.

Jumpsuits might be a good happy medium as they can make the bum look really lovely while still being professional and not too revealing. Hope you get him OP x

Yeah it comes up once in conversation, then it becomes "most ppl think I'm 2o years younger than I am" lol. There is nothing wrong with women ageing or "looking their age" whatever that age may be.

I’m an engineer, in a smart casual office. I’m 48 (but have bern told I look 10 years younger all my life). If I turned up at work in a wiggle dress, no one would rushed me seriously! I might be asked when my interview was. Honesty OP, be the best version of your normal self.

Elllllle I agree

Though it's true that unless you're clearly of different generations most people aren't looking closely and assume people in the same life phase (whether that means colleagues or parents of children's friends) are very approximately the same age. People do say "oh, I thought you were my age" if you have similar aged children or are working at a similar level. That's not personal appearance though, it's just a sort of assumption of peers being broadly similar.

If you are both single , just ask him out for a drink after work FFS. Don’t make a fool of yourself wearing something “ hot “ to work when that’s not appropriate.