Meeting our bank manager - what to wear? **Thread title edited at OP's request**

[IsThatWise]

I am a stay at home mum and a carer for our autistic son. I am pretty much home bound, though I do go for nails, tan and hair. My husband is much more higher profile than I am, on a very much local scale, and I choose to stay home. I’ve been invited to meet our bank manager on an ‘informal’ basis, but still at the bank. I am conscious that it all sounds horrendous but what the hell do I wear. Please help!

Eaten

Willow

Btw, the Spanx leather style leggings are AMAZING

What is happening in S&B at the moment with people coming in and criticising women for discussing clothes? If you don't like it hide S&B FFS.

And as for the delightful worried well, if she thinks leather trousers are a good look for a prostitute she clearly hasn't thought through the practicalities.

Yes Shirley I'll second that, especially the Moto ones with the detail, they're fab!
I'm really heading into dodgy waters, I have both real leather and faux leather leggings. Multiple pairs of both too

Count

Some of the richest people I know live in scruffy jeans and trainers and those with a lot less have all the designer labels, clothes mean nothing.

@CountFosco I think the problem here is that it kind of seems the OP only actually started this thread to show off about how absolutely rolling in it they are.

I have to be honest and say I don't really know what "invited to join the bank" means.

does it mean you have to impress them in order to bank with them?

No they have to impress you so that you will invest money with them.

Blimey some quite mean posts on here.

OP short answer is that I would wear smart jeans, top and blazer.

@BabyDarlingDollfaceHoney I don't think she did actually. My impression was that she was nervous about a social engagement. She is tied to the house a lot because of her caring responsibilities and, from both her poor command of written English and her repeat comments about how well her DH has done I'd guess she is either not a native English speaker or comes from a lower income background. Both of those would increase her anxiety about a event that many of us would be quite relaxed about.

Yeah I accept it may have come across that way accidentally... But it's not hard to see why people read it that way. I know nothing about fancy rich people banks but I'm pretty sure it's the dough they're interested in and not her outfit anyway.

What Count said.

Are S&B threads showing up on the 'active' list more than usual or something? Seems to be attracting more AIBU types lately.

Not that everyone isn't welcome but it's hairdos, face cream, dresses and lipstick etc not hard hitting current affairs. There's no need for the arsey argumentative replies. S&B isn't shy about saying someone's taste sandals is horrendous but then posters will suggest alternatives and it's a generally supportive place. Sod off back to aibu if you think clothes and make up are pointless.

Don't just mean this thread btw. There was the SRD thread the other day too.

OP, our wealth manager came to see us today, by appointment. I was wearing blue skinny jeans, a striped black and white t-shirt with a black cardigan, a pair of Primark imitation Converse, and ample dog hair.

Sorry, Enid but your post is quite funny 😂 "people on this board are nice and never arsey... So sod off!". I just thought the unusual replies were because it was an unusual OP for S&B.

I’m not wealthy, I bank on the high street and I get out and about. My only wisdom is that many many years ago (say 40), when a bit of a hippy hitchhiking around Europe, I always used to breeze into the poshest hotels if I wanted a wash and brush up, because however scruffy and eccentric one looked one could possibly be some member of the European aristocracy/multi millionaire, so no one batted an eyelid. Down market, I’d have been slung out immediately. I believe this perception is still in place generally.

First of all, surely all banks are private? You have to apply to join any bank. No one can have access to your money? Some just behave like elitist clubs to keep out the riff raff like me 🤣
Second, as far as a prostitute wearing leather leggings goes, she/he wouldn't choose them as work wear as they take too bloody long to get on and off!
I'd wear them, but I haven't got the knees for them now I'm soontobe60.
OP, if going to the bank causes you so much angst, stick with Barclays (other regular banks are available) and do all your banking online.

Don't wear leather leggings OP. They were over about 10 years ago. Unless you are certain type....

Reading the thread, I'm really sorry for what you've encountered.

Clearly from your original post you don't leave home much, so while this is a nonevent to a lot of us, it's a different day for you. I personally would go in jeans, shoes and a tee-shirt with a jacket or blazer.

As for wanting to make your husband proud, I don't see any harm in having that desire, as long as he's not going to verbally or physically assault you if you don't make him proud?

I hope the meeting goes well and you get something out of the bank for giving them your time.

@IsThatWise i have felt exactly the same as you in a similar situation. Before being with DH I had never really dealt with high profile law firms or had personal meetings with bank managers and the like and it really panicked me.

Yes, I'm an over thinker, prone to anxiety in new social situations (no matter how "informal)

Whenever I go to meetings like this, I tend to wear something comfortable but smarter than my usual working from home uniform of leggings & baggy jumper!

I usually go with skinny jeans and a smarties shirt (with a vest underneath so my boobs don't join in the conversation!) and ankle boots (I'm also more comfortable in heels)

Blimey thought for a moment I was on an Am I Bitchy enoUgh thread not S&B.

OP you've had a needlessly hard time from some posters.

Wear what you are comfortable in albeit something a touch smarter and most definitely clean (unlike me who went to an important meeting without realising I had gravy spilt down my boobs - go for lunch after your meeting). Dress a touch smarter or something new and its first wear, it will make you feel a bit more special and help your confidence. Jeans and blouse will be fine. Hold your head up high and remember they are trying to court you, so make sure you like and trust them, before giving them your hard earned money.

Leather leggings definitely were one of the big trends of AW17. They were ubiquitous that season, which was only 18 months ago. I would still wear mine as one of the best things about them is they can be made to look at the smart end of smart casual. I was actually contemplating buying a silk zebra top which will go really well with my leather leggings. I am fairly confident of not looking like a hooker.

I still get stressed if I am going to be in an unfamiliar environment and don't understand the dress code, especially where it's unwritten and subtle. While seeing my banker wouldn't be a big deal for me, I can understand that this was/is a big deal for her and so don't understand the nasty responses.

'so my boobs don't join in the conversation!'

@MsSquiz I am sooo going to use this phrase from now on!