Hop on, the train is about to leave frumpsville

[DULLDull]

I posted on chat a few days ago about this but thought this might be am even better place.

I am frumpy and I hate it.

I am 45, 3 stone overweight and a SAHM who feels has lost her mojo since motherhood descended 12 years ago.

I want to change so I am hoping to start a thread for any like minded fellow frumps.

I am thinking clothes, hair, make up, diet and style tips in one place to help release our inner goddess.

Anyone care to join?

happypoobum, yes, I like & Other Stories. Holding off buying any more clothes in my current size though.

For me I feel frumpy because whilst I've been overweight all my life, this is the first time I've been this age. For the first time I feel 'edgy' or 'voluptuous' are eluding me and I feel like an overweight Janice Battersby.

I have put a pinterest board together to try and identify a style and decided Lauren Laverne is my new style hero.

Yes! I love how she dresses and she’s about the same age as me (although significantly slimmer and prettier). I do love a jeans and blazer combo but the way she puts her outfits together is definitely something I can learn from.

I am 3 stone overweight but have started excerising properly for the first time in years- pole dancing which I am absolutely loving and is starting to tone me up.

I’m fighting a battle against grey roots which has led to me over-dying and going darker than I wanted which looks harsh. I’ve had some caramel highlights added which has helped and instead of DIY root colouring I’ve bought some wash out magnetic powder from Superdrug which blends the greys away without building up permanent colour.

@teta - sorry to be a pain but could you post a link to those trousers, just what I am looking for but I can't find them on the website. Thanks.

@teta - found them!

nancybelle In my case I think it's my ginormous chest that makes me look frumpy/matronly. I am a 34GG at the moment. I was a 34H at one point, before I started the low fat diet.

If it’s chest size that defines frumpiness, I have no chance . I’m currently a 32K. Pre weightloss I topped out at 40K. Actually, I don’t think it’s weight that defines it either (even though life is generally better 5 stone down). I’ve seen lots of overweight women who are still stylish. I think it’s more of an attitude that then is translated into how one looks/dresses/carries oneself/feels about your place in the world. It’s a package really. I’d never say a particular sandal or dress was in and of itself frumpy. But if it’s worn by someone who believes she looks shit, then it WILL - as will the most amazing dress or shoe ever. Not sure if I’m making sense...

I feel the main source of my frump is the 'mum tum' and c section overhang.

It just seems so impossible to disguise and makes clothes hang so badly on me.

Totally agree treacle. My legs, arms, bum and hips still look trim, but my 5 months-esque MumTum spoils the line of so many outfits.

I have friends who are heavier and a dress size bigger than me but because their stomachs are still quite flat they look better in their clothes.

I think frumpiness is down to attitude. If you don't feel good about yourself you choose frumpy unflattering clothes, and then feel even worse about yourself.

Rushes for the train in a wobbly unflattering manner!

I'm on it - 41, probably a good 1.5 stone overweight with a hamstring injury and c-section overhang, likely peri menopausal and currently a SAHM who's clothes seem to be trashed / covered in snot or bodily fluids (not mine...) which are all making me feel a good 20 years older. Worse still is my arms - I have no idea what's happened but they are massive and look like a side of ham in every photo

I used to be stylish, have great shoes and be able to dress my size. I think most of my issue is now "why dress nicely?" as it gets ruined. I tend to buy clothes for the lifestyle I no longer have so stuff just sits in the cupboard.

I’ve got the c section overhang too.....made worse by weight gain. Really need to get it under control so joining. We are in the middle of winter but I’m looking ahead to spring. I’m off shorts....I’ve found some nice midi skirts with a split that look comfy but cool and hopefully non frumpy.

Littlemy77 I do the same. Sparkly dresses and shoes even though I live in trainers. I haven’t been clubbing or to a fancy event for a long time but still buy clothes for the life I used to have.

Right, we are all on the train but what now? I need this train to move and take me on the journey to being from free 😀

Frump free that was meant to say

I have the overhang too, and no c section! It's shit because I have to wear long tops to disguise it, whereas I'd love to wear paperbag trousers with a silky top tucked in.

Is it just diet? Once I lose the (ahem) 62lb I need to, will my stomach be flat? Pleeeeeaaase?

I know when I was 22lbs lighter my stomach was so much flatter. I could get away with wearing very unforgiving flat fronted trousers with a fitted top

Even when I was a teenage size 8 I still didn't have a flat belly. Having said that, it was 25 years ago when I had never heard of Pilates...I think if I was that size again I would now know how to properly strengthen my stomach muscles instead of doing zillions of sit ups that did nothing and then feeling depressed about it.

Hold the train I want to get on please!?!

Mid forties, SAHM who has always struggled with my weight but now I'm the heaviest I've ever been. I will probably rejoin SW post the holidays.

I am frumpy in my oversized dull fat clothes and generally need to make more of an effort with myself.

My hair is coloured professional every month as it's so grey; my nails are weak, with splits and I'm considering acrylics; I should probably wear make up daily to prevent the washed out look.

Can I join the Frumpington Express too? I used to be a babe, or so I was told. My dh said to me at the weekend that he thinks I'm prettier than my sisters (I have 4 of them) which was very nice but he almost said it with a 'but' at the end, i.e. 'but you're so fat' even though he didn't use those words. He didn't need to really.

My plan is to lose 5 stone on the BSD; get my teeth whitened; wax my top lip and my chin (urgh, hate it that they're so hairy suddenly - have ordered some wax stuff) and try to start from a position of liking myself.

I'm going to book in 'self care' appointments with myself where I bathe and use nice body lotion and paint my nails and generally pay attention to my looks. I spent some money on Boots online yesterday so looking forward to that all arriving.

Ooh sounds like a good plan waterandlemonjuice about the self-care appointments. I read somewhere that if you aren't keen on something about yourself you should work on it a little bit everyday until you start to see it in a different light...mine is my upper thighs and tummy (2 babies). So I make sure I moisturise them everyday and give them some love etc.
Anyone got any recommendations for whitening teeth without spending a fortune?

So, today I missed breakfast (never hungry first thing in morning anyway). Made a conscious effort to drink more water this morning and just had a cheese salad for lunch (not much cheese). More water this afternoon and crispy chicken chilli wraps for dinner + lots of fresh watermelon.

No junk and no snacks. I can do this. We all can.

Fairly typically I think I may have missed the train but I'm pelting down the line behind you! The exercise will be good for me anyway, if it doesn't kill me...

Mid 40s, c-sec overhang and a shape that can only be described as dumpy. Ok skin, ok but uninspiring hair, clothes uninspiring but they cover me. Were they supposed to do more?

I received an eye test reminder months ago so decided to go in and of course I am even blinder than before. So I ordered some rather lovely new glasses.

Very different to what I would normally choose. Took a teenager with me for style guidance.

Will fake tan tonight if it looks like the weather will change - currently raining.

Have eaten well today - and someone complimented my wild curly hair

I got on the scales this morning, which was a push to get my fat arse on the exercise bike whilst DS napped. Currently trying to potty train him and eating a load of crap to mitigate tiredness and staying in the house which isn't helping.

I concur with the little and often approach to some sort of routine. Have denied to set aside one night a week for eyebrow / bikini line / 'tache tidy up before I look like a hobbit and it takes 3 times as long

My most recent unfortunate find is that Jolene creme bleach no longer works for more than a few days threading or waxing my lip aren't doable (I look like I have a cats arse mouth afterwards) and laser doesn't last. Not sure wtf I do now...

Saturday morning is my pamper time. Tidy eyebrows + shave pits + hair masque + exfoliate trim bastard nasal hair.

I'm joining in.

I'm 38. And frumpy. I should lose 1 stone but feel uninspired. I hate shopping and get my hair cut maybe twice a year because I really don't enjoy it. I have a stomach I need to flatten - I don't have separated abs but my core is shocking.

I had no help growing up with clothes or style - neither of my parents were interested in how they looked tbh - so have basically been wearing the same thing since I was 15: jeans, converse, t shirt. I want to give a slightly better role model for my daughter - be interested in how you look and dress how you want to dress, rather than wearing whatever is to hand when you rush through m&s or h&m or wherever.

I've started to make my own clothes which helps me feel comfortable in myself. And a little less frumpy.

So I'm jumping on board to kick myself up the bum to motivate myself to stop wallowing and start making and wearing the clothes i want to.