Covering DH's first greys, what would you/do you do?

[doubleristretto]

DH has short, mid brown hair which goes a bit reddish in the sun. He's got quite a few greys now on the sides and just found one on the top, the horror! I've tried to nudge him towards one of those root filler type brushes but he's not convinced and wants to dye it. I've been trying to find something semi permanent but with no luck so far. What would you use? I'm veering towards a warm dark blonde but they seem really quite dark from the photos and I think it might be too much? I'm terrified of doing a "Trump" with an unconvincing blondy-orangy shade. Thank you for your help.

No.

Just think of Paul McCartney’s hair.

I don’t think it’s necessarily sexism in the way that you see it OP- people are pointing out that as women’s “value” is often based on their youthfulness, it’s more acceptable (or expected) for them to spend time and money hiding the fact they’re getting older. Men escape this, so to try and hang on to that it’s seen as vain.

As others have pointed out, if he has very short hair it’ll be a bollocks with the regrowth. It’ll be very obvious when his greys come back in. Maintaining properly, well dyed hair is a job in itself- he’ll be looking at arranging an appointment every six weeks probably, at an hour or so at a time.

You could say Tom Jones is an extreme example, but conversely when you think about it he, Donald Trump, Paul McCartney, John Travolta etc had the time and means to have it done regularly by "the best" hairdressers money can buy. And it still looks like shit.

Don’t do it, I find men who dye their hair very unattractive, can’t explain why.

What a terrible thread. OP wanted advice on dying, not to be told to do something else. 42 is young to be going grey! I only know a few people with grey at that age and they have very black hair.
Sorry but not all of us want to "embrace it"... plenty of time to do that when he's actually old.

Yes but this is Style and Beauty- if something is likely to look like shite, posters will tell OPs that it’s going to look like shite.

Otherwise we’d be seeing a lot more Hotter sandals about the place.

I mix up a bit of Just for Men for my hubby He's early 40's & his grey is ageing, so I just sort of waft my hands through his hair, leaving the temples. Leave for whatever the box says & off it comes. Then I cut it. He looks good - I'd quite like to 'enhance' his eyebrows but he refuses that one

Just for men?
My brother uses it. He has done for years. I think he dyes his hair too dark but that's up to him. Am sure if you get the right colour, it will look fine.

The horror? Really?

It's grey hair, ffs

It happens to everyone who doesn't die too young.

Fwiw, I'm 48 and embracing the salt and pepper.

42 is not premature grey.

Oh my goodness, 'the horror!' was sarcasm, I'm very sorry (and a lot surprised) if that did not come across! One person mentioned the short hair point - very recently, not multiples. Thank you very much lovely people for your recent 'just for men' recommendations, they are very welcome and I wish you and your menfolk well.

Thank you CookPass for your kindness, a less robust person might easily feel a bit battered here!

DH started going grey in his early 20s. When I met him, in his 30s, he used to ask me to dye it for him. I persuaded him not to, grey hair is much nicer than fake dark hair.

Try Hairprint a none toxic alternative to hair dye.

www.myhairprint.com

OK, leaving aside all the debate on whether a man should dye his hair or not, the OP has asked for advice.

I'm female and I've had grey hair since my mid-twenties so I've been dying my brown hair for a couple of decades. I use Nice and Easy Medium or Light Brown or Garnier Nutresse in a similar shade. When my hair is short, I mix equal quantities of both bottles in a small bowl and use a brush to apply. That means I get 2 applications out of one box. That might be a good approach for your DH, especially if the grey is localised around his temples and the back of his head is not affected.

I'm assuming he has fairly short hair, so regrowth might be more obvious and you'll need to touch up the roots quite often. You can use the same dye, equal amounts from each bottle mixed in a bowl and applied with a brush just on the regrowth.

It might take a bit of trial and error to find the right shade. You can test a shade by mixing a bit and trying in a small area.

It's just hair. If he dyes it and he decides he doesn't like it, it will grow out.

Thank you CookPass for your kindness, a less robust person might easily feel a bit battered here!

I don't understand why? It's not your hair or you wishing to dye it?

Men with dyed hair always look ridiculous, there is no way round it, sexist or not. It is what it is and folks are just trying to avoid you having a situation where your husband is walking about for a month looking like Paul McCartney's younger brother.

Wow this thread is surreal!

We got a nice and easy toner for DH to have a go at toning down his greys. It was a really nice subtle effect but washed out quickly.

We are going to try a nice and easy semi permanent in the same shade hoping it will look as nice.

FWIW the comments he got at work were people asking him if he'd got a new shirt. So the hair improved his overall appearance without being obviously dyed. Which was the whole point really, not to banish the greys just to calm them down.

I agree with pp who said the only time you notice hair dye is when it's done badly...

I like DS grey hairs and wouldn't ever think of dying them and he's much younger than your DH.

I also like mine and don't dye them either.

So no double standards in this house. I started going grey years before DH.

Honestly I wouldn't bother- and yes this is Syme and beauty advice- leave them alone!

Lol not DS in my first post!

Think about all those celebs with dyed hair - all that money and professional expertise and yet their hair looks shite.

I personally love the silver fox look.

Do you not like your husband much ?

esalon is supposed to be good. Custom made and posted to your house.

FWIW, I am growing out my greys ( not many but I don’t want to go through a skunk stripe phase or cut it all off, so I am starting earlyish)

However my hairdresser’s advice was to use a semi permanent dye without ammonia, so that the colour slowly fades, so that the greys can peek through, and you don’t have obvious regrowth.
This only works for a certain percentage of grey, but it does not sound like your DH is there yet. ( ie he doesn’t have much grey.)

Why is it an issue when it is a man whereas it is not for women

It's double standards but society tells us that a woman who "looks after herself" is to be praised where as for men it's considered to be a bit narcissistic and well naff.

A man at work dyed his hair after a couple of years of a little grey around the edges and honestly, childish as it sounds I don't think the young women in the office ever got over it. The general consensus was it was sad and ridiculous.

If your DH wants to look stylish he has two choices: go grey or find an excellent salon and commit to a 4 weekly schedule. The latter is going to be very much a second option in the style stakes.

Whatever men do in terms of covering grey hair looks obvious. I think it's to do with shorter, generally thinner coarser hait than a lot of women.

Everyone has this right to do whatever they want with their hair and their style in general. My position is that for whatever touched up or dyed hair looks strange and theatrical on a man.