Anyone turning their back on ‘anti - aging’?

[omBreROSE]

I’d always used organic/simple products... my skin is fine ( l’m in my mid 40’s)
Anyway, l got sucked into watching blogs/ YouTube tutorials etc... l wanted to try everything to delay the inevitable. I’d previously been sensible and realised there was nothing, bar botox/fillers that might make a difference.
Yes, there are the retinols etc... but *they need careful monitoring and can just set your skin off - whenever!
I’ve been trying one Ordinary product after the next, on ( what l think now) is a journey on to nothing!
Seeing as only the retinols can penetrate the skin - maybe everything else is just not worth it?
Emotionally or financially?
Has anyone thought they’d try to ‘fix it’ and then thought “bugger it!”
If you did, what is your skincare routine now, and what did you do previously?
I’m leaning toward a nice simple moisturiser and a good SPF.

I'm sorry but this is a thread about embracing ageing or not. The 'face fell off a cliff' reference was to myself! I'm probably exaggerating but this is a discussion about ageing. These are the conversations I'm having with my friends, we chat about whether or not to Botox, what make up works, what doesn't. How ageing has surprised us, it's not linear, it happens quite suddenly and how it's hard. None of these conversations or expressions are 'unacceptable'. Good for those who have embraced ageing ageing and use a tub of Nivea and no make-up. But others want to see what else is out there, what works and what doesn't.
If I want to describe myself as 'jowly' I will!

How does retinol cause skin cancer?

I think the anti ageing products are rubbish.

I tried one once, around my eyes, and I woke up feeling like I'd been sobbing all night, it was an unpleasant feeling. I've not user anything since, I have oily skin, so I don't even moisturise. I don't think my skin is too bad for mid-40s.

I'm happy to grow old gracefully, it's a privilege to grow old, not everyone gets to do it.

The only products that you can put on your face that have evidence to be 'anti-ageing' are spfs and retinol. No moisturiser will get rid of lines. I don't use a moisturiser anymore.

Then the discussion is whether surgery makes you look younger or worse..
There's loads of treatments: laser facials, endymed, Caci, Botox, fillers, etc. So it's not all about the products. Yes lots are over-priced nonsense.

If those products or procedures worked then the actresses paid to promote them wouldn't need to be so heavily photo shopped.

The irony of, for instance, Julia Roberts, advertising Lancôme, and having every line, blemish, un even skin tone airbrushed out is ridiculous. If Lancôme is so miraculous she could just slap that on her chops and look perfect!

I agree about retinol doing more damage.

I can't say I embrace aging. Granted it's not as hard as the alternative but it's still a bummer watching your face and your body sliding away from you. So I think I understand why women have work done and I hope it's always clear that I'm not criticising them but the world we all live in. Your body, your face: not quite what we had in mind in the 70s but there you go.

But please, spare me the clinicbabble.

This isn't just about posters on here, it's about everyone on these boards who has Botox (or whatever) and then posts this kind of stuff:
'I'm not trying to look younger.'
'I just look less tired / fresher / less cross / a better version of me.'

Do me a favour.
For one thing, looking tired is one of the symptoms of aging. It is exactly what getting older looks like. So this is literal non sense.

And where in hell has this fear of looking cross come from? Has anyone ever heard a man say he was worried about looking cross. Because I haven't, not once. If you want my opinion, women don't look nearly cross enough.

I would be quite happy to grow old. It’s a privilege denied to many!

Not too much sun, a good diet and only a little booze is by far the better option.

I actually find the whole anti-aging thing fucking boring and I say that at age 42

If you want my opinion, women don't look nearly cross enough.

Hallelujah!

Flo - looking tired to me is different to looking older. Mine is tired because I'm in pain and have a host of health issues. Nothing else looked older, I just had these pain/frown lines etched in!
If I wanted to look younger I would have had a lot more and had my forehead frozen. I'm happy with looking 33!

Go Flo 👍

Flo Also if we all go to the feminists board there are plenty of cross women.

Actually I think we need to think about what being older actually means, I think well dressed put together women of age are respected far more than wannabe twenty somethings.

I have a chronic illness which will eventually shorten my life. I don't want DC seeing me obsessed about trying to be something I can never be again. We need to celebrate the now.

Dal I didn’t say retinols caused cancer.

I think its use will lead to an increase in skin cancer, as despite warnings that you MUST use SPF daily, once you start using a retinol, many people will not. Or they will slap on their moisturiser with SPF 15, at 7am and think that will protect them all day long. Which is incorrect.

Ah yes I agree with that Lizzie lots of people don't understand how important it is to use a high SPF with retinols. Or even stop on holiday and through the summer months. The amount in foundations or moisturisers isn't enough. You need a full broad screen SPF. My dermatologist tells me to reapply this 3 times a day. Even in the evening due to the light emitted by phones/computers.

I look roughly my age, 48, maybe a few years younger. I just wash with shower gel and moisturise every day. That's it. Dye my greys because I can afford it and enjoy my 4 hairdresser trips per year.

I'm working more on being happy, content and fulfilled on the inside rather than anything on the outside. Wrt the outside, as long as I don't scare the children I'm happy!

Actually I think we need to think about what being older actually means, I think well dressed put together women of age are respected far more than wannabe twenty somethings

I agree. I always feel slightly sorry for women who’ve gone down the route of “work” in their faces. It smacks of low self esteem to me. I respect a person, much more, who is comfortable with themselves.

I get you Delatron. That happened to me too. You think ageing is going to be gradual but it's not. I hate bumping into people I haven't seen in a couple of years because they look shocked!
It is true that stress plays a huge part. I have had years in the past where I looked ancient and years where people were amazed I was ten years older than they thought, but generally women look gorgeous in their 30s, and a few fine lines don't affect that.
I also empathise with what Catastropheee says about her mum, and seeing her mum's face in the mirror. For some people seeing one of their parents looking back at them is pretty distressing.
I wont do Botox or fillers, but I will 100% get a facelift in a few years if my face slides any more.
If it's good enough for Susan Sarandon..

But I am not white Caucasian so have natural sun protection in my skin already and I always stay out of the sun and have never smoked and drink only v occasionally.

*on
I should have added, that from the people I know, those who’ve had work done, seem to have low self esteem.

I agree that nothing works except retinoids and more invasive stuff like laser or fillers or botox. The great majority of creams have at best a temporary plumping or smoothing effect for a few hours. Nothing longer term.

As to wanting to slow down ageing or not - well some people are luckier with how they age than others. It's easy to be sniffy about anti ageing if you happen to have a face that's aged well (so far).

Every now and then there are threads about men catcalling or saying vile things to them in the street. And how much they wound. Yet women say and think much worse about themselves than anything a man can shout at them. Just because you are getting and looking older does not mean you are worthless. I understand that sometimes when you catch sight of yourself in a mirror you go, blimey, is that me, where did my 20 something go. But when we were in our 20s and caught sight of ourselves there were very few of us who looked in the mirror and were satisfied with what we saw, we honed in on the too bushy eyebrows, the thin upper lip, the snout nose. At some point you just have to accept that just as we can't all be brain surgeons, we can't all be raving beauties. Improve yourself by taking care of wellbeing, health,
Is all to the good, but chasing youth is a non starter. Youth has gone, deal with the now. There are advantages to getting older. I take the invisibility to men everyday over the fear of walking past a group of them. With age should come acceptance, being comfortable with who you are and what you stand for. All these companies are preying on women who seem to absolutely fear ageing and women buying into it by the bucketload. And it is not real. I love make up, perfume, body products, etc but I don't expect them to keep me looking young, nor would I want them too. Confidence is the best thing a woman has in her armour - not Botox.

I have recently started a course of microdermabrasion and it’s been better than the Botox I used to use. I had a few frights lately - Sue barker on question of sport, and my old neighbour who I haven’t seen in 5 years. Her face was all one level! Puffed up! They don’t look like themselves and it’s confusing to our brains which have a perception. I’m done now - I truly would be upset if people had the same reaction to me after not seeing me for a few years.

I can see that I'm ageing, but luckily I like the way I look as I do. There is a noticeable difference when I haven't slept properly, or if I'm ill.
I use skin products, quite a lot from The Ordinary/Niod and my skin is improved, not younger looking, but more even toned, scars from pimples are fading, less dehydrated.
I don't disagree with women (and men) having procedures like botox and fillers etc. but I just don't think they make much of a difference. There is nothing we can do to stop the march of time.

I do think that the fact I like the way I look as I age is more to do with feeling mentally, psychologically and emotionally happier and healthier than I have in years, than my actual physical beauty. But I do think I'm gorgeous

It is better to want to look good for your age than young for your age.

But I don't see the shame in wanting to have a decent skincare regime and wanting to look pulled together. I wash with a gentle facial cleanser and put on a hydrating serum and moisturiser in the morning and evening. I use a mild retinoid 2-3 times a week at night and spf every day. I don't do this to look younger, I do this to make the most of my skin (and keep it from drying out like a prune - especially in this weather).

If I'm going out and about, I'll put a little tinted moisturiser, blush and lippy on - again not too look 21 but because it makes me feel good.

I think there's a happy balance to be had between going OTT with Botox / expensive snake oil products and just washing your face with soap and water (although either is your own prerogative).