Severely matted hair...

[Becca19962014]

Please don't judge.

Due to physical and mental health problems my waist length hair has become completely matted. It hasn't been washed, nor my body in years, it is so foul and disgusting that I can't even get a hairdresser to see me.

I cannot wash it and have no money to pay for someone to help me. My last hospital admission I was told to shave it all off and accept I'll never have hair as I cannot care for it and cannot afford help.

My disability has cost me everything. It took years to grow my hair but gradually I could do nothing at all with it.

It's now at a point whereby its matted at the back and the top is matted into the back. I bought a big detangler hair brush after I was told to use one on it before (but it was for thin hair not thick like mine) and back brush it with dry conditioner by an OT - that was when it became totally tangled and it just got worse. I spend a lot of time in bed lying on it and must wear a medical device which sits on my hair for at least twelve hours every day.

I spent my childhood being forced to have an almost shaved head. I was suspended more than once because of it and my family (not that I have a lot to do with them) bullied and mocked me for have disgusting long hair when I left home and grew it, even though then it wasn't anything like it is now. My experience of hairdressers is having my wishes ignored and having combs yanked through my hair which resulted in bald bleeding patches as they refused to accept a comb has never gone through my hair.

It's been years.

I've no idea what I want from this thread. I went to see a hairdresser this morning, literally to see them, to speak about it, not touch, and they literally laughed and said it was too disgusting to even touch and told me to just shave it myself at home, I couldn't have a wig as I live somewhere very windy, charged me for the advice and send me on my way. They were obviously taking photos of me and I'm really worried what for. I wish I'd never gone. There's no other hairdresser here and I'm feeling really upset. I can't really put into words how hard it was for me to go there and now I'm really ashamed.

So other than completely shaving my head, any ideas?

This stuff is amazing, it detangles my horse's Tail after a winter of mud so I'm sure it would help you.

Would writing an action plan help? Google the best way to detangle, break it down into small steps and tick off one a day?

momo the link is to the brush on Amazon. I literally just pasted the link. The commission stuff is what MN automatically add when people put links it has nothing at all to do with me.

I'm actually more concerned that you are unable to wash and seem to have no care support. How do you keep your body clean? I'm asking out of concern, not in a nasty way. Do you literally have no help?

I don't keep it clean. That's the whole point, it's why I get bullied on a daily basis. I can't afford the help I need and I don't trust people not to harm me. It's really difficult and complex. Hospital admission and the hairdresser today have not helped with that at all.

duck I'll look into that thankyou and I'll try contacting the people mentioned on the previous page. It'll probably take some time given how understanding the person I was talking to and saw today was, and then wasn't.

Can you have a wash with a flannel? Either at the sink or if someone brought you over some lovely warm soapy water?

Does anyone come round to help you prepare meals etc or are you ok with that?

It’s really great that you want to do something about it. Don’t give in, you’ll feel so much better for it

I'm sorry, I wish I could help

Sorry chinese that sounds really defensive. I'm not having a go at you in any way, just typed then read back and realised how I sounded! Not my intention!!

Not at all

Surely you must be entitled to careers to help you? My MIL fell and broke her arm badly a few weeks ago and they would let her home without a care package in place for carers to come in and help her with hygiene etc.

www.boots.com/tangle-teezer-blow-styling-full-paddle-brush-10191687

I've got really long thick hair and this is the only brush that has ever actually got the knots out. Unlike the other tangle teezer brush this one has long teeth and they're ridged so don't bend around the knots IYSWIM?

If you can get it cut shortish, would you be able to manage to visit the hairdressers weekly to have it washed and plaited ? The braiding will help prevent matting.

No flannels, my skin is so thin it rips, hence saying about specialist care. Meals are basically ready meals/cereal or complan, though I've got diabetes so that's not great.

It's really hard.

You're all being so kind. I appreciate it so much.

It's a big deal for me to go back to short because my parents were abusive part of that was hair always being shaved off or kept really really short.

It's more than my hair that's tangled!

op

Normal hairdressers won't want to know as they won't have the experience to deal with this.

I know because DS's very wiry long hair got so matted at the back underneath it went green and became impenetrable to water! The tangle teezer thing just skimmed over the top and didn't touch it.

In the end I spent two whole days snipping out the worst parts and combing out individual hairs to save. Some of the very matted parts were only held onto his head by a few hairs anyway. He ended up with much thinner hair, but at least he can manage it now by combing with a wide toothed shower comb when its wet.

There was a programme on tv recently... I wish I could remember its name. It was one of those make over programmes that are on fairly late at night. A girl came with matted hair so bad it was a solid lump. They sorted her out with a very nice short cut. Very short at the back and shaved up her neck, but slightly longer at the front where they'd saved the less matted part.

Oh OP. I'm a trainee hairdresser and if I lived near you, I'd come and do it for free.

Is there any mobile hairdressers you could email and explain your situation? The hairdressers you experienced who were judgemental are in the minority, I promise.

Be forthright, email mobile hairdressers, explain your situation and budget and ask if they can help you.

I agree a pixie cut will be easier to maintain.

As for brushes www.amazon.co.uk/Wet-Brush-Detangling-Shower/dp/B003CSYPUI?tag=mumsnetforum-21

www.adeldirect.co.uk/hair-c7/combs-brushes-c58/str-detangle-shine-brush-p28299/s44586?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=str-detangle-amp-shine-brush-colour-orange-colour-orange-123491&utm_campaign=product%2Blisting%2Bads&gclid=Cj0KCQiA2NXTBRDoARIsAJRIvLz3N6npkg_LDwk1EPSLdBh7P3fzAXczSpKY4zjupbBQLyVkuKfdLB4aAvg0EALw_wcB

Even though this doesn't state detangling as one of its purposes, it leaves the hair really smooth and slick and makes brushing a lot easier. I use it on kids who start sobbing the second they see a hairbrush and they're all amazed by my magic no hurt spray

www.amazon.co.uk/OSMO-Dual-Action-Miracle-Repair/dp/B010B09E8M/ref=sr_1_1_s_it?s=drugstore&keywords=Osmo+leave+in+conditioner&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1517663697&sr=1-1

I need long term care, in my area that's funded by the person needing care, it's possible to get part funded short term after an accident long term is different. It's not free, also I'm terrified of people, and having care is a massive deal. I've had it before and had to stop as it became too expensive and I struggled to cope with it.

I'm not going back to that hairdressers again.

I never let people in which I assume id need to if it was mobile hairdresser.

Something sounds very off here, OP.

The hospital refused to wash you ‘due to disgust’? Then discharged you home knowing that you live alone, rurally with no way of looking after yourself?

Do you have a bath or shower? If your skin is very fragile then washing every day probably isn’t an option, but I bet a few times a week (with baby soap and patting gently dry) would make you feel so much better.

How short would too short be for your hair in your opinion? You don’t have to crop it if that’s going to mess with your mental health, but we could find nice pictures of short bob type styles if you want?

Thanks for the links I'll have a look I promise.

I need to go out for another appointment, so if I don't respond for awhile that's why, I'm not ignoring you. Thankyou all for being so kind.

Have you contacted social services, it seems you need real ongoing help. Also is there a CAB equivilent in Wales, which can help with finances - aceess to medical help.

I'm so sorry you are in so much need of help. Also contact your GP, they might have district nurses who can help you -they helped my gran.

I am a nurse in England and though the system is far from perfect here, I would like to think that I have never refused anyone basic nursing care and then discharged them without a package of care sufficient for their needs . What a fucking shambles.

Contact adult social services. A package needs to be put in place so that your basic hygiene needs can be met. Your DLA is actually to pay for your extra care needs. I know you say it will cost £50 to use the centre but I've known people use day centres for nothing. Aren't they usually means tested? If you have a condition that means you will neber be able to take care of your physical needs again you clearly need an assessment by social services.

What is your diagnosis? Do.you have both physical and mental health problems?

Do.you have a care coordinator? Social worker?

It sounds as though you need serious support, I'm so sorry you are alone and struggling

There was a woman who had the same problem on body fixers . She had it cut but they re styled it and coloured it and it looked amazing . It couldn't be saved but maybe yours can ?

Op how did you get to hairdressers today? Only asking as trying to figure out if your mobile etc

Surely if you have disabilities and are unable to even wash your body you should be living on your own? Where are your carers?

I'm not being mean to you honestly I'm not, but I'm angry that you haven't been able to wash for years... that isn't right