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Style and beauty

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Original poster

So I've realised I'm actually just an old, fat woman.

109 replies

Wilburissomepig · 06/12/2017 21:23

I went out at the weekend - nothing fancy, just a meal in a nice restaurant with friends. I bought some lovely cigarette pants, great top and heels and put a lot of thought into jewellery, shoes etc and I felt great for the first time in ages. (It's been a tough year and I haven't been out much). A friend posted the most unflattering photo of me on Facebook and I could cry. Firstly because it's so clearly a terrible photograph and I would never do that to a friend (with a 'ha ha ha, not your best look' comment underneath), and secondly, mostly actually, because it's me in the photo - that's what I look like. Even when I thought I looked my best I look old and fat and I'm feeling like shit.

OP posts:

stevie69 · 07/12/2017 16:51

How many over 50’s look great in photos?

I have my moments .......

hollowtree · 07/12/2017 16:54

I just want to say that I feel exactly the same and I'm 27 and size 10/12. Age and size has nothing to do with it... I spend 20 mins a day doing my make up and I still look like gollum. I actually genuinely do. My stretch marks from my DD go from my thighs to above my belly button, from one hip to the other. With a nice c section scar in the middle. I look like a map of Wales.

I don't have Facebook for this very reason. My poor DH... thank God love is blind.

sinceyouask · 07/12/2017 16:57

I'd want to reply with something like "maybe not, but a much better look than trying to upset and embarrass a friend". What a nasty piece of work she sounds. Please tell me she's been shamed into taking it down by now. If one of my friends did that to another, I'd be telling the first friend not to be such a bitch and to get the photo down before I posted some choice ones of them (although tbh I wouldn't go through with the threat).

GinnyBaker · 07/12/2017 17:03

She isn't nice.

In a Susan Howatch book a husband says to a wife who has just said something massively bitchy 'my dear, I'm not sure that remark did you justice' which is such a useful remark.

Allows you to show your displeasure and disapproval whilst maintaing the moral high ground. I'd write that under her twofacedbook remark

zippyswife · 07/12/2017 17:04

I bet you looked fab and I bet she is jealous as pp have said. I came off Facebook a couple of years ago for various reasons and it’s been liberating. Maybe consider it?

I’d love to see a photo of you (not the unflattering one) I bet I’d think you look great.

Original poster

Wilburissomepig · 07/12/2017 17:15

'my dear, I'm not sure that remark did you justice' Love this.

I asked her to take it down this morning but it's still there. Apparently I'm being over sensitive and touchy. I'm quite surprised that she even posted it, we're supposed to be good friends, hence my upset probably.

OP posts:

Shockers · 07/12/2017 17:16

Whoa there!

How many over 50’s look great in photos?

Most of them, and the under 50s, the over 70s, and everyone else!

Unless you subscribe to the theory that only pouting, airbrushed youth, magazine style, deserve to have a camera pointed their way.

Original poster

Wilburissomepig · 07/12/2017 17:18

Shockers apparently the over 50s are invisible as well ...

OP posts:

Silverthorn · 07/12/2017 17:27

I think she hates you.

CountessofGrantham · 07/12/2017 17:33

I’ve just dropped my daughter at the station to sing carols with her brownies and was caught on the webcam. DH showed me when I got home and I could cry. I know I’m fat but I’ve lost 3 stone recently and thought I might look a tiny bit less fat, old and ugly. I just seem to look worse.

Original poster

Wilburissomepig · 07/12/2017 17:35

I think she hates you.. Yep, certainly seems like it. I wonder if she'll still feel that way next time she wants a lift somewhere or wants me to look after her DCs while she goes away for the weekend! 😁

OP posts:

Timefortea99 · 07/12/2017 17:39

I would post something along the lines of her posting the most awful photo of me also makes you look worse. Because it does.

squirrelonapetridish · 07/12/2017 17:44

Take a photo of her when she least expects it (I.e not looking her best) and whack it on Facebook. See how she likes it.

Laiste · 07/12/2017 18:00

God i've looked shite in photos since i was a teen. I don't know what happens. The camera comes out and the gurning begins

Extra chins come out of no where, my fringe makes a bid for freeedom right off my forehead and my (admittedly large) boobs wooooosh up to cartoonish size and dominate every.god.damn.photo.

Timefortea99 · 07/12/2017 18:02

Agree with @squirrel. In fact I would take several. And the new drop the bitch.

Candlelight234 · 07/12/2017 19:18

Your outfit sounds lovely and I bet you looked just fine.
I think the 'friend' was jealous of your great outfit and caught you at a bad angle that's all.

Chickenagain · 07/12/2017 19:27

Why don't you go

Chickenagain · 07/12/2017 19:30

I'll start again - why don't you go into your FB settings and sort your privacy out? Make sure you are notified if someone wants to tag you so you can remain untagged. That's a start.
See if you can ask FB to remove it - I don't know what reason you'd give.

MrsWhirly · 07/12/2017 19:34

I would msg friend and ask politely to delete the pic. In fact I did this yesterday when I friend posted a pic of me which wasn't unflattering, but I clearly looked very drunk! Which I was.

It's not ok for your friend to essently and knowingly humiliate you.

In terms of being an old fat woman, I was recently looking at pics from a friends wedding and felt I had aged, however I still feel confident in my looks because I still make effort, which you sound like you do too.

Plus on some levels I find it quite liberating for that makes sense?

anxiousnow · 07/12/2017 19:34

Sorry have rtft but what a bitch your 'friend' is. The real spin is she is jealous. The most beautiful women in the world could have a bad pic... wrong angle lighting etc. The fact she felt the need to highlight it means yiu do not usually look like that pic iyswim. She said not your finest.... that means you can dismiss that pic as even she is acknowledging it isn't a true likeness. Sorry but I would have to call her out on that. Complete bitchy teenager move.

MrsWhirly · 07/12/2017 19:36

Sorry, just read your update which said you have asked her and she hasn't taken it down. What a total bitch!! What is actually wrong with some people?!

Deathraystare · 07/12/2017 19:44

Well I was reading a beauty book years ago and even decent photographers cannot always do a good job on some people. The writer said that some pretty women come out rather badly.

My poor mum hated photo and would always set her jaw and face away. If anyone is old enough to remember a rather hard faced Journo on The Express called Jean Rook -that is what I called my mum!

Nannyplumbrocks · 07/12/2017 19:49

Op just wanted to say you can change your settings so people cant tag you without your consent

WorldPeasAndSweetcorn · 07/12/2017 19:51

It doesnt matter if you need to lose 1lb or 10stone, that's an unbelievably shitty thing for her to do.

CallMeDollFace · 07/12/2017 20:06

Christ she really is awful if you’ve asked her to take it down and she hasn’t.

Anything less than a genuinely horrified apology and immediate removal, followed by flowers, equates to friendship over in my opinion.

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