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Style and beauty

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Original poster

So I've realised I'm actually just an old, fat woman.

109 replies

Wilburissomepig · 06/12/2017 21:23

I went out at the weekend - nothing fancy, just a meal in a nice restaurant with friends. I bought some lovely cigarette pants, great top and heels and put a lot of thought into jewellery, shoes etc and I felt great for the first time in ages. (It's been a tough year and I haven't been out much). A friend posted the most unflattering photo of me on Facebook and I could cry. Firstly because it's so clearly a terrible photograph and I would never do that to a friend (with a 'ha ha ha, not your best look' comment underneath), and secondly, mostly actually, because it's me in the photo - that's what I look like. Even when I thought I looked my best I look old and fat and I'm feeling like shit.

OP posts:

phoebemac · 06/12/2017 21:52

I feel your pain. A friend posted the most horrible pic of me on FB, even though I specifically said "please don't post that pic on FB."

Original poster

Wilburissomepig · 06/12/2017 21:52

There is a photo that I don't look too horrific in, but sadly for me I'm standing next to a friends stunning 21 year old daughter.

OP posts:

averylongtimeago · 06/12/2017 21:55

What a bitchy thing to do. Block her on FB.
For what it's worth, I'm 5'6 and a size 20, grey hair, poking 60 with a very short stick. I don't like photos at all, I never look like the young slim person I know I am. I am what I am though and looking at the other women in my family, well I'm normal.
So, if you feel good, you look good. Take no notice, she's a horrid cow and karma will get her.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 06/12/2017 21:58

I can't understand the small-minded meanness of some people! I have a good friend who did this to another mate...absolutely awful photo of our overweight friend about to take a big bite of a sandwich.

She just posted it...no "Funny" comment or anything.

It made me reassess my thoughts of her.

OP untag yourslf from it and ignore the cow!

ShiftyMcGifty · 06/12/2017 22:01

‘ha ha ha, not your best look' comment underneath

I’d reply...

Funny, I was going to say the same about your motivation behind this post

your best look' comment underneath)

Worldsworstcook · 06/12/2017 22:01

Dd lost her best friend after she refused to take down a pic of her on her fb page. It was a small thing for the friend to do and rather than crop my dd out of the pic she refused.
Dd was gutted as it's a shitty thing to do. Sounds like your friend is cut from the same cloth. That's why selfies exist - 100 goes to get one pic. Ignore her, ignore the pic. What you see in the mirror is a lovely lady who looked hot and classy - someone who happened to have a bad pic taken. Continue on as before, she's shown her bad side, not yours.

ShiftyMcGifty · 06/12/2017 22:02

Sorry, cut/paste gone wrong

BulletFox · 06/12/2017 22:07

Shifty good idea.

OP she's being a bitch.

Oblomov17 · 06/12/2017 22:07

Why would a 'friend' post such an unflattering photo?

user1471537023 · 06/12/2017 22:09

This has happened to me, so I take a photo of myself in the mirror before I go out, I don't post in on Facebook it's for me only. Later If any horrible photos appear on Facebook I look at the one I took and think I did look nice and this other photo is down to bad camera angle,ighting etc Remember even supermodels can look unattractive in photos.

cathyclown · 06/12/2017 22:10

Envy and jealousy led to this. I bet you looked gorgeous OP. If you feel good about yourself you WILL look good, it's true.

I hover between a 14 and 16, never worry about it, choose my clothes carefully (never too tight or revealing etc.), and if I am comfortable and feel ok I know I look good to others too. But to be honest I don't care either most of the time!

So glad I am not on Face Ache. It seems to be a huge cause of anxiety and angst. Get off it.

wibblywobblywoo · 06/12/2017 22:10

Ask her to take it down, if she doesn't you can report the photo to FB and ask it to be taken down saying that it is a picture of you that you haven't given your consent for.

Use it as a positive springboard to be the best you that you can be - get fit, for the sake of your health now and in the future, eat healthily for the same reasons.

And as others have said, she really isn't much of a friend.

Trollingwithmyhomies · 06/12/2017 22:12

I don’t think you’ve got a looks problem but sounds like you have a frIend problem.
I once had a (now ex-) ‘friend’ who used to select the photos in which her friends looked shit on purpose for FB. I think her posting criteria was what she looked best in, followed by (if she wasn’t in the pic), what anyone else looked worst in. No need to post any of it. It was just one small symptom of her much bigger nasty insecurities that made her into a real mean girl type in the end.

Honestly a catwalk model can be made to look shit in a photo. That’s why they use professional photographers to make such already gorgeous people look good in photos. Your friends weird put down of you via FB photo will be screamingly obvious to everyone else looking at it - hence your other friend pulling her up on it. And I bet you’re not the only person she does this to. SIBVU.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 06/12/2017 22:13

One lovely friend has commented 'are you trying to embarrass Wilbur?' bless her.

Ok so that confirms it is an unusually unattractive photo, it isn't how you actually look. Otherwise your kind friend wouldn't have made that comment.

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe · 06/12/2017 22:13

So called friend sounds like a nasty sort. I'm afraid I would have to say something (though I absolutely wouldn't get into it on FB). Can you text or WhatsApp her to say you'd prefer that she take it down? Personally I'd call her out on it with something like "Was there any particular reason why you chose to post an unflattering picture of me and make that comment?"

expatinscotland · 06/12/2017 22:13

I know how you can lose a lot of weight instantly! Jettison this 'friend', but her on Unfollow at the least. She's a total cow.

justme93 · 06/12/2017 22:15

I think she’s being very unkind and also has a touch of the green eyed monster in her.. she found the worst photo she could and put it on social media. Not the actions of a true friend so don’t to badly about shooting back a harsh reply to her posting your photo all over the internet!! You also sound stylish in your choice of outfit, conscious of your age and size all all good things (in moderation).. I very much doubt your half as bad as you think but do what makes YOU happy 💕

MammaTJ · 06/12/2017 22:17

You need to go out with me, I am 50 and a seemingly rapidly growing size 26. I would make you look fabulous.

Joking aside (it is true about my size though) I am sure you could not have looked that bad. She is not friend to deliberately post an unflattering pic of you. Untag yourself in it, you can do that, then change so people have to ask before they tag you, then the more flattering, realistic pics will be chosen!

Oh, and once more, she is not a friend!

BlueEyedWonder · 06/12/2017 22:17

I bet your ‘friend’ didn’t post any pictures of herself not looking her best.
This is why I rarely look at Faceache.
I suspect you looked great in your carefully chosen outfit and she did this because she thought you looked better than her on the night.
I’m 41 and in the past year I’ve gone from a size 6 to size 8. I’m only 5ft so believe me it shows. The greys have increased and so have the wrinkles. Like you, there are times I feel fat and old.
So I’m trying to embrace me as I am as I go into my 40s. I’ve ebayed some snug size 6 clothes and bought a few new size 8 classic items I love. I’m focusing on 3 healthy meals a day and lots of water rather than dieting.

thediff · 06/12/2017 22:27

Take heart from all the support. That’s what real friends do.

MonumentalAlabaster · 06/12/2017 22:27

I know how you feel OP.
I am also in my 50s and a few years ago my husband sent the most awful, frumpy photo of me to his family - it was a group photo taken at our daughter's graduation and I had specifically asked him to let me be involved in choosing which one to send....

Tanaqui · 06/12/2017 22:29

If she isn't a horrible cow, could it be that she thinks you are genuinely attractive, and cinfident enough in your looks, that you would find a bad photo funny? Some people might think it okay because they can't imagine you being hurt by it (because they know you don't really look like that) iyswim.

Chottie · 06/12/2017 22:29

OP- that is so unkind

Would she take it down, if you asked?

MissTeri · 06/12/2017 22:29

First off there is nothing wrong with being/looking old. We age, it's fine. Also, some of the most beautiful women I know are larger than you. Being old/fat doesn't mean you can't look absolutely breathtakingly beautiful!

That said, I appreciate how you feel and that as you get older/bigger you may pine for the 'old' you and what you feel you had in the past. I'm sure you looked great on the night, in fact I'm sure you did because why else would your 'friend' post the most unflattering picture AND for it to have been picked up on by another friend. You only have to look at the Daily Mail (if you can stomach it) and you'll find tons of articles featuring the most gorgeous women caught in very unflattering angles.

ADishBestEatenCold · 06/12/2017 22:33

"In do need to lose weight Fosco"

Well start with your 'friend' ... that'll be around 130 pounds down, straight off, and you'll immediately feel so much better.

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