Does anyone super hourglass feel really self conscious ?

[hendricksyousay]

I’m a bit Jesica rabbit , small rib cage and waist , big boobs and a curvy bum and thighs . Whatever I wear I sort of look like I’m trying too hard and it makes me self conscious . I’m a size 8-10 but I tend to wear looser tops so it doesn’t show it off as much . Am I alone ? Or crazy ? 😳😳

I understand how you feel. There is so much bitchiness regarding thin women, that it makes me uncomfortable about my own weight.
I get lots of compliments but all this stuff in the media makes me feel uneasy. I’m also finding it very difficult these days to get 8’s that are not baggy!

Just had a thought empire line dresses and tops always looked good on me, they were very fitted at the boob so showed off the body line but not fitted at all anywhere else thus avoiding the top sexy look. Give these a try if you can find them anywhere OP

The other thing I find is that I do like to look current. I like fashion. I don't want to wear empire line. I can't stand trouser hems flapping about, especially in the rain.
My problem is that I have a picture in my head, but when I try it all on, I look far too sexy/matronly/frumpy/pregnant. I usually go for the 'sexy' and think to hell with it, or at least i try to.
Lately I've been trying to be more confident, so what if men leer, so what if people think I'm trying to hard. I have to somehow reach a point where I don't care so much. In the same way that larger women do. I'm pretty certain my lack of confidence shows, which doesn't help with the harassment. I'm thinking I need a change in attitude.

@MidLifeCrisis2017 .. I wear marks and Spencer’s sumptuously soft bras . They are a bit like t shirt bras and come in dd upwards .

Im REALLY body confident

It’s other people’s reactions though? I’m ok now I got a bit more spare cash and have gone wild (ok on eBay at least) so I’ve been able to go for the Uber classy look

In my student days I worked in a supermarket and for the nhs as a domestic assistant (cleaner) Uniform for both.

At each of these workplaces, I was asked by (female, middle aged) managers to size up to a 14 in uniform (5’4 and eight and a bit stone, work that out ) and also to wear my work fleece unzipped (supermarket job included working in chillers) to “conceal myself”.

Both women wore very visible make up, (including red nail varnish and lipstick, jewellery, highly styled hair, heels at work) as did other employees at my level.

I’m generally no make up and flats and shortish hair and no bling apart from a Casio watch (was a fucking army reservist, hardly a Joan Holloway character! ) I think there was a lot of shagging going on at both places, I certainly didn’t indulge and as one would expect spent my break times with a textbook trying to work on my course!

But I was singled out as being some “wannabe sex siren” because of my figure.

And of course if Id commented or complained about it then I was obviously “showing off” and “desperate to flaunt myself”

because obviously my norks indicate I’m desperate for attention from spotty Steve the customer services manager

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some lovely comments on my figure and of course the guys I date love it (I joke I can’t have a one night stand without the guy deciding he has to marry me the morning after)

And of course as I get older I care less. But I can imagine that if I was less strong willed, having turned into someone really self loathing (and binge eating to try to conceal my “shameful” body) as a result of all the shitty slut shaming attitudes.

@Anderbroom I had several run in with managers refusing to order me larger sizes it’s a bloody pain. It just results in me pulling at clothes and feeling uncomfortable.

Very jealous of your body confidence.

I always have to size up for tops, the fabric seems to get eaten up by boobs, so they end up being shorter than they should. Same with dresses

Not me, but my god daughter.

She has a 1950s starlet figure. She hates it. She's glorious, but I can see why she'd rather be more straight up and down and less booby.

Trendy clothes make her look chunky, figure hugging dresses make her look like Jessica Rabbit and she gets the wrong sort of attention.

On holiday this summer, she told me she'd die for a body like her friend's - tall, super slim and small busted.

Oh me too. I am an extreme hourglass and I fucking hate it. It's a pain. I find I either look inappropriately sexy, or fat. I long to look like a slim, lithe French voguette, but am stuck looking like a scruffy, grouchy Kardahsian knockoff.

I've pretty much mastered dressing my top half, but my bottom half is another story. Any trousers that go over my thunder thighs are going to me massive in the waist, or too inappropriately stretchy for the office. I'm only a size 10, but even when I starved myself skinny and didn't eat carbs for a year, the giant boobs and big bum and thighs stuck around. It was dispiriting to say the least.

@hendricksyousay thanks, I found a 20% off code and just spent £177 on Debenhams bras!

OP not bragging. This shape is a pain in the ass. I am not a sexy person (in my head) but my body shape signals otherwise. I have a sexy look even in jeans and I hate it. I feel like a cartoon character. I over heard a male colleague say recently that I was the corporate Dolly Parton. At work I mostly wear frumpy cardigans and black trousers, but still got that comment. I would love an elegant Audrey Hepburn figure. The last time I wore a skirt, about 100 years ago, I was told I was bootilicious. Been in trousers ever since.

I hear ya! Hourglass here. I like wearing a line dresses with tights and ankle boots as daywear.

Cowl necks, slash necks and empire lines work well too.

Lots of long cardigans over fitted stuff helps too.

I feel amazing in a tailored shift but nothing bodycon unless I want endless comments.

Every part of me is curvy apart from my straight nose so I try to introduce straight lines in tailoring and prints.

Just keep trying stuff on.

I’m an extreme hourglass. Even now I’ve gained weight I still have a decent waist. If I wear something clingy at the top and defined at the waist, men stare and make sexual remarks, which I hate.

An ex (I was absolutely infatuated with him) said my body was made for sex and he just couldn’t believe how I ‘went in and out in all the right places’. Which I loved. Sigh.

But yes, if I complained IRL about how looking too sexy has ruined my life (it has to a degree) it would likely not go down well at all.

As a teenager I couldn’t wear Topshop/Miss Selfridge etc as the clothes just wouldn’t behave on my body. That was if I could even get them over my hips and boobs and I was very slim at the time.

i wear freya deco as a tshirt bra

rightknockered I wasn’t suggesting you wear 90s throwback empire line dresses, just clothes with that shape.

I just bought this mint velvet top and love it, it’s fitted at the bust and gives a neat silhouette without having to be super fitted everywhere.

Agree keep trying on stuff until you find shapes/combinations of clothes that work for you.

Would any of you extreme hourglasses share all your measurements?
I mean bust-waist-hips

(biggest, smallest,, biggest)

Why lljk?
What difference does that make to you?

I'm 39 - 26 - 37
I remember growing up and not understanding why I couldn't get clothes to look right.
I thought fuck it, and wore high heels boots today, just with jeans and uniqlo merino jumper, with a biker jacket. Bumped into someone I know, (who incidentally was wearing a mini/tights/high heeled boots combo and looked lovely) and she asked me why I was so dressed up in a tight top and heels, and where I was off to

I don't think I'm extreme hourglass though, just top heavy hourglass

I have a really good hourglass figure but wearing clothes to highlight it makes me feel insecure as men just stare. :(

I have a really good hourglass figure but wearing clothes to highlight it makes me feel insecure as men just stare.

Yeah. Need to fucking stop that don’t they.

I have an hourglass figure. If I dress to suit my figure I get comments like ‘Are you off to a business meeting?’ I need waist definition in my clothing or I look brick shaped. Sadly waist definition seems to be out of fashion.

And of course as I get older I care less. But I can imagine that if I was less strong willed, having turned into someone really self loathing (and binge eating to try to conceal my “shameful” body) as a result of all the shitty slut shaming attitudes.

Yeah I think this is what I’ve done. The last time I was a healthy weight was around ten years ago. The comments and abuse were unreal.

Random question and off topic. Apologies. Does anyone have experience of gaining weight and the comments stopping (my experience) and then losing it all (5 stone to go in my case) and it staying stopped because you’re older now? (What I hope for).

I've found my people.

39-27/28-39 here. I'm also tall, so have long legs, as if the figure wasn't hard enough to dress for.

I tend to wear form-fitting but not revealing, but still get the Barbie/Jessica Rabbit/sexy comments.

@rightknockered, because I'm an hourglass but curious how hourglass shaped that is compared to others. I had a friend who was about 42-30-46.

I'm probably 38-28-37. I don't feel like it's hard to keep a modest look, though.

My clothing problems are:

Trousers: unless I buy specific curvy cut ones, they usually need belts, or I get massive waist gap. It's annoying.

Matched sets don't match, useless for me: I'm like 16 up top & 10 on bottom! Clothes seem to usually be designed for pear shaped.

Tops too short.

My waist is my favourite female feature :). I'd choose to lose the boobs before the waist.