50 - and lost my way. Help!!

[stringbean]

I've just turned 50 - which is hard enough (don't feel it, don't think I look it either) - have returned from holiday and looked at my wardrobe. It's full of stuff from years ago and I don't know how to go about updating it. My job is a combination of working from home and travel/visiting sites around the UK, so workwear needs to be smart-ish (but not suits/corporate - more trousers & cardi or jersey jacket, which is what I wear - but it's dull). At home I'm in a rut of jeans and boots in winter - also dull.

I'd love to wear skirts a bit more at home, and dresses for work, but just don't know where to start, and never know what shoes/tights to wear. Ideally I need something flat as it's more practical, especially for work, as I'm often on my feet. I probably have enough clothes, but don't know how to put outfits together or 'accessorise', whatever that means.

I'm 5'8, size 12 and have short hair, so feminine flouncy stuff and strong patterns looks completely wrong on me. I'm pretty low maintenance - never really got the hang of make-up so mostly don't bother. I'm just overwhelmed by the choice out there, the blogs where people seem to have so much money (and time! where the hell do they get the time to shop so much???). I'd like to go into one shop where there isn't much choice where I can get help to put a few outfits together and incorporate other bits of my wardrobe. I'm happy to pay a bit more for quality but bitterly resent being charged £100 for a polyester shirt. Anyone else feel like this, or know where to start?? Many thanks if you've read this far!!

I'm 53 and for day dresses I go to White Stuff or similar and wear them with thick tights and ankle boots. Day time I tend to live in cropped jeans and striped tops. Workwear are trousers, tops and cardigans or dresses so Next, M&S autograph etc. Have you looked on Pinterest? Sometimes it's about having a 'thing' like scarves or statement jewellery. I love scarves and find that they can pull an outfit together. My 'thing' this year is going to be coloured handbags as I always just have black or tan.

There is also a stylist on fb called Gail Morgan and she often runs wardrobe challenges where each day you focus on a particular area like accessories or colour but using your existing wardrobe. I found it really helpful

Should have added a friend recently used Debenhams personal shopping service and thought it was a great success

I particularly love that outfit with the green scarf Jakadaal - many thanks for posting. Maybe I just don't use colour enough - I have a lot of grey/navy which just tends to fade into the background.

I don't really do White Stuff unfortunately - I find it all a bit patterned and it seldom fits properly (I have a long body and the tops are always too short). I do have quite a lot of scarves but thought that they were on the way out - haven't seen many of them on people lately (although maybe it's more of a winter thing?). Like the idea of the brightly coloured bag though - I'm the same, always black or brown.

Will try and use Pinterest but have teenagers in the house, so dh puts blocks on everything!

Zara is also a fave for knitwear or trousers as again you can add a bit of colour without too much cost. They have some great mustard coloured long line cardigans in at the mo

Bumping for the afternoon crowd.....am I the only one who feels like this?

I don't feel like you. (But perhaps because I've had a handful more years to practise?)

Absolutely love getting dressed. Almost never visit an actual concrete shop these days - the internet has completely revolutionised my shopping habits. There is so much choice.

Admittedly I spend at least as much time browsing online as anyone who regularly trawls the high street. (Have been too busy lately for bloggers or Pinterest - and frankly am not much interested now in what other people buy.)

Rambling. Advice. Buy a magazine. Old skool paper and print. At the back you'll find a list of shops/designers featured. Spend your free time over the next few weeks looking up every single website. (If you have the relevant shops nearby visit them knowing what to expect.) Try stuff on. Lots. Measure yourself.

Don't buy anything you don't fall in love with. Keep a look out for one or two outstanding accessories - jewellery or a belt, etc that will lift your spirits and individualise your dressing.

Do not be too prescriptive about prices. White tee shirts are best bought cheap, tailoring costs money. Buy the best you can afford. Don't reject "fashion"; it's what keeps your wardrobe fresh. There is nothing wrong with experimentation or making the odd mistake.

Be proud of bring fifty. Dress to show off how fabulous being fifty is.

Sorry - meant "a magazine like Vogue or whatever" ...

The bloggers and vloggers are doing it as a full time job, and companies send them loads of stuff. So don't pay too much attention the how's and why's of the blogs.

That said I am also struggling to get out of jeans. I'm sure others will be more helpful.

The advice above sounds good. I felt the same when I hit 40 and did a John Lewis personal shopper morning. That really suited me. I didn't buy much but it made me go home and look at what I had and why it wasn't working. I don't think I'd realised that as I got older my shape had changed and I looked better with more colour.

I need to do it again now I'm nearly 50.

Thank you all for your thoughts and comments. Gruach, your advice about being proud of being 50 is great - hope I get the same stage as you, where dressing isn't a chore. Really like the idea of only buying something if you love it as well.

You mention choice, but that's the thing that overwhelms me. There's just too much! Shops that I've loved in the past (Hobbs in the 90s and early 00s) just leave me cold; still love the shoes but all the skirts are too short and all the dresses have necks which are too high and don't suit large boobs. Ditto Jigsaw - the quality is rubbish and the prices ridiculous. If I could find one shop with good quality clothes that aren't designed to look great on an androgynous stick insect, I'd just shop there!! I don't know where to go any more .

Someone told me once that it takes a lot of time to put together a wardrobe of decent outfits, so maybe I just need to invest more time? Part of the problem is that, when out looking round shops, I just can't be arsed to get undressed, knowing that 90% of the stuff I try on will look like shit on me. I'm invariably on a time limit anyway for various reasons, so just never feel I can really take the time required.

Have tried a JL personal shopping session in the past to buy a dress for a wedding - it was ok but I ended up buying a dress that fitted rather than one I loved iyswim. I have just been given some JL vouchers for my birthday. Not sure whether to try a personal shopping session again, or splurge them on a nice handbag!

You sound like a Toast person to me. Expensive so wait for the sales. In my early 50's too and I try hard to buy natural materials - wool, cotton, silk. Last better and don't turn you into a constant menopausal sweat.
The most important thing I think as you age is having a great haircut and make sure nails are trimmed and hands well moisturised.
If big boobs a well fitting bra is important - it lengthens your torso.
Have a bit of fun with clothes.
I always like unexpected combinations - a leather / Denim jacket with a floaty dress. Jeans and and nice sandels
Comfort is important - shoes you can walk in, buy the right size.

Alternatively - or in addition - and as I haven't yet recommended any actual clothes, take a look at:

Acne Studios
Margaret Howell
Martin Margiela
(+ as a wildcard Lemaire. Haven't worn their clothes, they seem made for people much taller than me - so may suit you.)

All of these have an aesthetic that appeals to my ancient soul - which is not to say I like every piece. Obviously I have no idea of your budget, the suggestions above are just suggestions. (I'm a devil for stalking items to that point at the tail end of the sales when the retailer is desperate to be rid of them.) And more expensive things play very nicely with, say, a white vest or plimsolls.

(There are more, but I'm not broadcasting their existence all over the internet ...)

And, even if you think you don't like patterns, both Marni and MiuMiu are worth looking at for the way they put things together. A real antidote to sombre black, grey, navy.

If you're really unsure about what your style might be I'd echo the advice above about looking online and in magazines until you find clothes that you like. I'm mid-50s, not very thin (currently size 16), don't have a lot of money, and like clothes that could best be described as slightly dishevelled minimalism. At some point over the last few years I realised that this chimed with the clothes that Cos produces - so that is my go-to shop. Do have a look, especially if you're not fond of patterns. Many of their clothes look a LOT better on than on-line, so it does help if you can get to a shop and try them on. They're not high-end but chosen carefully will last for a while. I also go to the less floral and more linen-y end of Seasalt and/or East for casual stuff, and also nip into &Other Stories for some of their lines (I love their brilliant shirt dresses and lovely shoes/boots, but can't wear a lot of their more youthful stuff). I tend to look for clothes in those shops, plus M&S for basics, and Toast for sales, and don't really go anywhere else.

Thank you for your suggestions. I do have a couple of Lydia dresses from Toast that I wear in the summer but dh hates them. I bought them for the fact that they're jersey cotton but he thinks they do nothing for my shape! I love the shoes at Toast and the knitwear, but most of the dresses are probably a bit shapeless for me. The cropped wideleg trousers around at the moment are something I just don't have the confidence to wear!

I find it so hard to picture clothes on me when they're modelled by skinny women 30 years my junior - really hard to relate to. I do lack confidence in what I wear, so tend to go for the safe (boring) option most of the time.

Gruach, you mention 'outstanding accessories' further upthread - please can you explain a bit more? I'm not sure I'd know what one of these was if it came up and bit me on the bum - but do see other women who have nice bags/scarves etc who just look a lot more 'together' than I do. Would love to know what to look out for.

I feel the same although I different shape. I'm mid-50s, 5 foot and slightly curvy (size 12 ish). I find it really hard to find things that fit properly (including length as I'm short) and knowing where to shop. I actually find it quite depressing. My winter clothes tend to be leggings/treggings, etc and tunic tops and boots. This summer I've worn a few dresses and cropped jeans and tops. But I never feel good about what I wear or how I look.

No advice but I am also stuck in a style rut.
I'll be watching with interest. Part of my problem is that my brain hasn't got round the fact that clothes cost so much more than 20 years ago.

I love those outfits, especially the last one. Where are they from?

Oh Lord - if you want to look put together I'm definitely the wrong person to ask. (Love clothes, don't care much about outfits - so quite often look a wee bit random.)

But someone, forget who, said it's good to buy one extravagant thing every season. So you might have a very plain wardrobe of skirts and jumpers from Cos, say, but then add - I dunno - the lovely Balenciaga belt with the cunning clasp (sale buy) that I had for years (and lost when it fell off after I lost weight). Or an exquisite pair of sunglasses. Or some Celine earrings. Or ...

Art galleries are good for inspiration. History shows us so many different ways of being beautiful and of adorning the body.

But pp are right - start with a good haircut.

Personal shopper or you can do it on line at John Lewis website

Scrapbook /pinterest things you like or styles celebs wear that you like

Ask people who are wearing something you like where it came from always flattered and likely to be happy to tell you.

Empty your wardrobe only put back what you love and think about why you love it
Then write a list of what you need quite specific though - eg Navy pencil skirt

Carry your list when shopping

Try stuff on even things you aren't sure about-often surprised

Try shops /brands you haven't tried even if expensive they have sales or try ebay if you like the cut/fit

I do have the hair thing sorted - it's pretty short but I like the cut and it does suit me. Probably should try and do something with the colour but tbh I can't be arsed with the faff of getting the roots touched up, so am embracing the grey (that's my excuse anyway!).

Maudesmum - at dishevelled minimalism

Vonklump, I can live with the fact that clothes cost more than 20 years ago; I don't mind paying more, but I do mind paying a lot for crappy cheap fabrics. It seems to be the norm these days to make a lot of clothes out of polyester/viscose and charge a small fortune for them.

Felt this way five years ago when I hit 50. I tried a few blogs and found Midlife Chic to be the one for me. She is your age and height. I find that her suggestions are very helpful, even though I am much shorter. She also talks about trends and in colours, so even if i don't relate to the particular clothes she features I can shop knowing how to spot current trends.

Whatever you do, ignore the shops that made it big in the 80s and 90s because you'll look like you never changed, which is the most ageing thing of all.

No thanks, Phase 8, Hobbs, Jigsaw. Banana Republic died because of this in the UK - the designs dated and everyone scarpered. Ignore linen too - the crumples make you look beaten up.

Cos and the minimalists are crackers if you like that style. Weekday and H&M do it cheaper if you want to experiment - as does Primark, surprisingly. Tailoring is coming back, so buy that - it gives you structure. As does a new bra.

Talking of bargains, do not rule out silly, cheap things - they can be very anti-ageing. I don't mean comedy cat t-shirts for spinsters but the odd Primark bright sweatshirt will take you a long way. As will a good bit of vintage, but not all vintage - you are much too cool at your age to look themed.

When I feel old and insecure, it manifests in wanting expensive clothes - this is better for you than chocolate, so go for it. You have less colour and shine in your face and skin, so add it in your clothes - textured fabrics, slightly sheeny silk jersey. I am a bargain freak but I do Helmut Lang, MM6, Ralph Lauren and DVF.

Hair is, whether or not we like it (I don't) is way more important than it was, as is handcream. And scent. Only use a touch of foundation on dodgy bits and one layer only of mascara on bottom lashes.

This is the time to be a Woman. And a Lady. It doesn't get any better than that.

Lots of great suggestions here.

Oh dear - I have quite a bit of old Hobbs, Jigsaw & Banana Republic - they were some of my go-to brands when I was a bit younger. I just keep on churning out the same old stuff (it's lasted!), especially for work. Beginning to think the best thing might be to chuck a load of stuff and start again - but as I've said previously, I just don't think the quality is as good as it used to be. Not sure I could bring myself to try Primark - dd shops there so I associate it with pre-teen/teen girls.

Beginning to see that I am going to have to invest an awful lot more time in this than I'd anticipated.

I only buy stuff that is either flattering or comfy. If it is both (say a fitted yet flared soft merino dress in a colour that suits me, I am prepared to spend twice as much)

I am a Reiss, LK Bennett and Hobbs fan for work. Have recently found Mint Velvet for casual stuff and bought lots of items from them. Can look a bit uninspiring on the hanger due to their colour palette but looks so good on