50 - and lost my way. Help!!

[stringbean]

I've just turned 50 - which is hard enough (don't feel it, don't think I look it either) - have returned from holiday and looked at my wardrobe. It's full of stuff from years ago and I don't know how to go about updating it. My job is a combination of working from home and travel/visiting sites around the UK, so workwear needs to be smart-ish (but not suits/corporate - more trousers & cardi or jersey jacket, which is what I wear - but it's dull). At home I'm in a rut of jeans and boots in winter - also dull.

I'd love to wear skirts a bit more at home, and dresses for work, but just don't know where to start, and never know what shoes/tights to wear. Ideally I need something flat as it's more practical, especially for work, as I'm often on my feet. I probably have enough clothes, but don't know how to put outfits together or 'accessorise', whatever that means.

I'm 5'8, size 12 and have short hair, so feminine flouncy stuff and strong patterns looks completely wrong on me. I'm pretty low maintenance - never really got the hang of make-up so mostly don't bother. I'm just overwhelmed by the choice out there, the blogs where people seem to have so much money (and time! where the hell do they get the time to shop so much???). I'd like to go into one shop where there isn't much choice where I can get help to put a few outfits together and incorporate other bits of my wardrobe. I'm happy to pay a bit more for quality but bitterly resent being charged £100 for a polyester shirt. Anyone else feel like this, or know where to start?? Many thanks if you've read this far!!

I struggled in my 50s till I realised my shape had changed and I had grown boobs. Sometimes you're the last to notice. I went to Bravissimo and learned to dress all over again. My body's changing all the time now and I try and keep one step ahead.

I move shops and have no brand loyalty whatsoever. I've been a big fan of H&M for years but beginning to lose patience with their random quality. At the moment I like Toast, Cos ( but don't live near a store and hate their website) - Think Uniqlo are ok and don't think M&S are half as bad as people say. I've recently gone back to buying second hand wherever possible - dress agency, vintage, charity shop etc. it's enabled me to buy brands like Margaret Howell and even H&M from 5 years ago is worth digging out.

I'm careful to keep specs and hair up to date. You can get away with a lot if they look modern.

I'm very against throwing clothes out if they fit and are in good condition. Often they just need a tweak to look good again.

Have a look at uniqlo. Lots if reasonably priced separates that are suitably smart.

I really like Uniqlo actually - there isn't one near me, but I sometimes drop into the Oxford Street branch when I've been in London for work. I have a few of their cardigans and t-shirts which are really nice quality, some Heat-Tech tops and a down jacket.

Floisme, you've hit the nail on the head with changing shape - I've recently invested in some new bras as realise I've gone up a cup size (horrors! I've been going to the gym so diligently, so it's not extra weight, it just seems to be that area that's increased for some bizarre menopausal reason). Love the idea of 'tweaking' old clothes, if I can just work out how to. I have some lovely Hobbs cord skirts from circa 10-15 years ago that I just can't bring myself to chuck (I understand cord is 'in' this autumn ) and so many pairs of boots (ankle, knee, you name it - I was never one to refuse a bargainous pair in the sales!) Off to look at Pinterest to see if there are suggestions of what to wear with them.

www.midlifechic.com

Nikki is exactly your age and size and colouring

She does work and casual stuff, noting massively expensive

Oh dear. Just taken a look. Am I allowed to not like the Midlife chic blog? "Trends for women over 40" Noooooooooo ... And all the rules and analysis and - honestly, I love clothes but ...

I have been known to cast an eye over thatsnotmyage and like most of it, though my taste is a little crunchier and less reasonable.

Have you looked at seasalt? Lots of lovely clothes!

www.seasaltcornwall.co.uk/clothing

I'm a big fan.

COS works well on older taller women. Non frilly, minimal pattern. If you like the Japanese/architect look. Good with glasses!

Gruach horses for courses, Love

I think the point about blogs is that we all find someone or several that particularly chime with us - I for one find them way more inspiring than magazines or styled to within an inch of their lives Pinterest images. An actual person of the same age and stage of life wearing actual clothes I might be able to buy. And for what it's worth she often blogs about life issues that affect us in particular and generstes a great debate

I'm older than you ( teeny tiny wee bit 😉 😉 ) It's sounds to me that perhaps your not too girly but want a skirt on now and again. Have you looked at Seasalt or Landsend some of their stuff is nice . I'm a total short arse 4 foot 11.5 so at your lovely height can wear so much and look great.

You're right - I'm not at all girly, but would like to be able to wear a skirt from time to time and know that I've got it right. I have dropped into Cos a couple of times when in London and agree stuff doesn't look much on the hangers (swathes of fabric on some of the clothes which I can't get my head around); not really sure it's my style though, but perhaps I should try something on there. I find Seasalt is a bit like White Stuff - I know plenty of people who wear it and look fine, but it just looks wrong on me for some reason I can't fathom. A bit too feminine maybe? Too many prints?

Re: blogs, actually, the two mentioned - Midlifechic and That's Not My Age - are two that I look at. I have stolen some of MLC's ideas and incorporated them into my work wardrobe in particular (Jigsaw trousers, Whistles jackets) - agree the fact that she is same height and size as me has been very helpful in this respect. I enjoy her writing and reflections on life at 40/50 something, even if the clothes are not always something I'd wear. She always looks polished and obviously puts in a great deal of time and effort, and it's clear to me now that I don't!

Have tried to look at Pinterest - in between being galvanised for various outdoor tasks/chores dh is determined to got done today - but it's blocked. Gah!! Need to get that sorted later.....

If you have some tops you quite like but they're a bit blah, can you die them? I recently died some tops navy and one turned out beautifully and the other one did not but I thought, ah well and chucked the failed experiment. I did the same again and died a few other bits that were 'ok' nothing wrong with them but not setting me alight either a lovely forest green!

I'm all about the right colour and the right neck line now. Throw out anything with a pattern. I don't like whitestuff either too cutesy.

What's your colour OP? Even without having your colours done, have you an idea?

PaganGB - I'm pretty sure I'm a summer. Certainly I tend to wear those colours most and they're the ones I'm most drawn to. There are a lot of colours in spring/autumn that I never wear - orange/yellow, and gold jewellery doesn't suit me either - and the winter colours are a bit strong on me.

Oh dear - why do I always get it so wrong? Went to 50th party last night - I was one of a handful of women in jeans (mine were white) and nice top while everyone else in dresses & heels. Why have I reached 50 and still don't know the unspoken dress codes for this sort of thing???

Well, I wouldn't worry about that!

If you felt that the white jeans and nice top were flattering to you and if you felt good in them then I bet you looked just as good as the women all in dresses. I wonder if any of them looked around and thought, wow, we're all in dresses, I wish I'd gone rogue and worn coloured jeans!

D'you know, i know this isn't the thrust of this thread but i have to vent because i've just been clicking on some of the brand names mentioned here:

Are these companies such as seasalt, cos, white stuff ect ever going to show their clothes on a model which is not 5'9 and size 8? Or is this the way it's always going to be? Seasalt is even showing it's plus size range (up to size 26) on very slim models. I mean why? that dress is not going to hang like that on a size 24 or a size 26 woman. Who will likely have boobs!

Not a single big boob or hour glass in sight. I guess it's because they know their whole range is aimed at the ''right'' shape. I know fashion favors the young, skinny and beautiful - but these companies surely can't be targeting the ''late teen starved but hauntingly lovely'' demographic. So why are the models all so small?

Agree 100% Laiste. I think I've commented upthread about androgynous stick insects. Very hard to picture clothes on myself when models are skinny, flat-chested and young. As a demographic, women in their 40s/50s have more money to spend, so you would expect more shops to market themselves in our direction; but, as the thread title says, I've lost my way, and that includes knowing where to shop.

String bean, wrt dress codes, think of it more as you set your own style, and don't have to follow the crowd.

Agree re stick insects.

As a demographic, women in their 40s/50s have more money to spend so you would expect more shops to market themselves in our direction

Exactly!!

Maybe they're trying to avoid the average woman? I don't know the reason - but i feel patronised and irritated by it all.

I'm sure there used to be a clothes line which showed their range on a size 12 and a size 18 (or similar combo). At least that way the majority of us were within roughly 3 dress sizes of one of the pictures.

@Namethecat where do you shop (I'm the same height)?

I went out on Saturday and got it a bit wrong too - I was in dress and heels. Everyone else was in jeans and nice tops (more casual).

The tall thing irritates me even more than the thin and young thing. I have been thin and young, but have never been fcking 5 foot nine! (And I speak for most people)

For experimenting, ebay is great - you can often buy, for not much, very high quality stuff that someone else has carefully kept for best.

I'm 51 now and about 5 years ago, after studying similar aged acquaintances who looked great, I realised what they had in common was fitness and grooming.

Keep yourself in shape, spend money on skin and hair care and buy fewer but better quality clothes that will last, and you should look great! I wish I'd learned that lesson when I was younger!

I now do yoga 2-3 times a week, use Aveda hair and skin products, which I swear by and have my hair cut and coloured professionally (she's freelance and comes to your home so half the price).

Clothes wise I find M&S amazing now, especially Autograph, Collection & Limited. The White Company too, if splurging, and Gap is still surprisingly good, even though their shops look a bit of a mess now.

You may find this website helpful to look at, you can work out both your colours and style. The style section has links to clothes that would work for you, 'polyvores' they call them, where you actually buy the stuff. I'm 52 and I do know what works for me now and stick to the colours and styles that look good. As you get older I think it's especially important to get the colours right, black can be very draining on your face. Have a browse!

www.truth-is-beauty.com/home.html

I'm 54, 5'8" and have recently lost weight, so I'm around a size 12-ish. I work from home, go in to the office sometimes, and meet clients. I wear jackets from Massimo Dutti, trousers from Mango, tops from Zara. No shop is off limits to me except the 1980s ones - Hobbs, Coast et al. I look at the blog Does My Bum Look 40 for inspiration - possibly a few too many maxi dresses at times, but otherwise gives some great style ideas and lots of smaller labels to look at - finery, Other Stories - Online Store & other stories.

Keep looking through various blogs until you find one that chimes with you - and don't forget to look for interesting jewellery as well.

Thank you ChinUp - I'll check those out. There's a large Zara near where I live but I always feel so out of touch when I go there and find it a bit of a jumble sale. Not familiar with the others so will have a look. Off to have a look at the blog too.