Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

50 - and lost my way. Help!!

133 replies

stringbean · 01/09/2017 07:54

I've just turned 50 - which is hard enough (don't feel it, don't think I look it either) - have returned from holiday and looked at my wardrobe. It's full of stuff from years ago and I don't know how to go about updating it. My job is a combination of working from home and travel/visiting sites around the UK, so workwear needs to be smart-ish (but not suits/corporate - more trousers & cardi or jersey jacket, which is what I wear - but it's dull). At home I'm in a rut of jeans and boots in winter - also dull.

I'd love to wear skirts a bit more at home, and dresses for work, but just don't know where to start, and never know what shoes/tights to wear. Ideally I need something flat as it's more practical, especially for work, as I'm often on my feet. I probably have enough clothes, but don't know how to put outfits together or 'accessorise', whatever that means.

I'm 5'8, size 12 and have short hair, so feminine flouncy stuff and strong patterns looks completely wrong on me. I'm pretty low maintenance - never really got the hang of make-up so mostly don't bother. I'm just overwhelmed by the choice out there, the blogs where people seem to have so much money (and time! where the hell do they get the time to shop so much???). I'd like to go into one shop where there isn't much choice where I can get help to put a few outfits together and incorporate other bits of my wardrobe. I'm happy to pay a bit more for quality but bitterly resent being charged £100 for a polyester shirt. Anyone else feel like this, or know where to start?? Many thanks if you've read this far!!

OP posts:
Floisme · 14/09/2017 07:29

For those looking for cords these M&S ones are worth checking out. I didn't buy them because I'm looking for a slightly slouchier fit. (Tried sizing up but they just looked too big) but if you want fitted and narrow, but not skinny leg then I think they're really good value.

FleaRiddenScruffBag · 14/09/2017 11:20

Thanks Floisme - you are now officially an enabler!

ExConstance · 14/09/2017 11:51

I'm 61 and feel very positive about fashion and my wardrobe. Jigsaw is very much a brand for me, and I've not noticed much falling off in quality over the years. I feel rather good in their jeans and like the print tea dresses, which are a little more sophisticated than in previous years. Hobbs is very frumpy on me, I'm only 5'3" and feel a bit swamped by it. The quality is good but Toast have lost their design skills in my view, though I do buy their knitwear and the odd dress that doesn't drag on the ground. Seasalt have some nice things this season, sort of White Stuff but much better. I tend to look out for what I see other people wearing and either copy or modify things I like. I suspect I will have a go at the cropped wide leg trousers once I have got my eye in with them. Brora is another reliable brand and they have a good sale. For smart work wear The Fold is expensive but wonderful quality.

I can honestly say that my age is not much of a consideration when it comes to buying clothes, and I don't expect to have to shop anywhere different to anyone else, still pick up the odd piece from Top Shop.

FreakinScaryCaaw · 14/09/2017 12:07

You sound similar to me except I'm size 14, 5 ft 8 and I have a long torso. Am getting fit now so will be a 12 soon. I'm 50 next year.

I wear tunics a lot. Love dresses. I shop in charity shops and get some real bargains. My work staple is black trousers and any top. I tend to wear colour for socialising.

Floisme · 14/09/2017 14:28

Happy to be of service Flea Smile

FleaRiddenScruffBag · 15/09/2017 07:58

ExConstance - me too! I am more polished, better dressed and much more interested in clothes than I was through my 20s/30s and early 40s. I am now 48. There is another thread about the invisibility of the middle aged woman which just doesn't resonate with me at all. We have more role models, better shopping and totally redifined attitudes to age. My only regret right now? ........ that I can't shift this sodding 1.5 stone which stands between me and total gorgeousness!

FleaRiddenScruffBag · 15/09/2017 08:11

..... redefined ffs..... and me an English teacher!

PurpleWithRed · 15/09/2017 08:16

Haven't read the whole thread but do you follow SoSensational (clothes and stuff) and Look Fabulous Forever (makeup). LFF how-to videos sorted my eye makeup now i have old lady hooded eyelids (59).

ExConstance · 15/09/2017 09:53

Yes, FRSB once the diet is complete life will be wonderful.
I did go into the Cheltenham branch of Toast yesterday. Their autumn stuff ( excepting the dresses which are a real matter of taste) is lovely. The fairisle jumper and the fine merino one are beautiful as is the heavy cotton Breton top. I don't think they should have called it a Breton top as it is nothing like one except for being striped. The coats are big and warm and cosy. Shoes were good too but they are very expensive. I'm going to flog some stuff on ebay to buy the boucle coat and buy the other few things one a month as the stuff I really like always sells out before the sale.

Floisme · 15/09/2017 10:06

I haven't looked at the dresses but I love my Toast cropped widelegs and I've been saving up so I can buy some of their autumn trousers without having to wait for the sale like I normally do. They do slouchy better than anywhere I know. I'll be very Envy if you get the boucle coat!

FreakinScaryCaaw · 15/09/2017 10:46

What shoes do you wear with cropped trousers?

Floisme · 15/09/2017 10:48

At the moment I'm wearing brogues or leather plimsolls.

OutToGetYou · 15/09/2017 11:56

Brrr, cold ankles, and wet ankles when it's raining!

OutToGetYou · 15/09/2017 12:11

Well, I am 49 (how?), 5'7", a size 14 (having been a 12 for the last 20 or so years, this is a bit of a shock for me), with DD boobs.

I work in London, with a long commute. I need to be warm enough at 7am on the station platform, but not too hot on the train, not too bulky for the Tube, flat shoes for Tube/stairs. walking to/from Tube etc. It has to be easy, no ironing, no 6am decisions!

I tend to wear dresses, M&S, Laura Ashley, Sainsbury, Phase 8 and some random brands from HofF/John Lewis. Used to love Kaliko but never see them any more.

Weekends it's all just jeans and long sleeve t shirts/sweaters. I can't cope with skinny jeans at all so have been out of fashion for about 10 years! Quite like the Boden stretch straight leg jeans. I never wear leggings, not sure I've ever even owned a pair. I cannot find trousers I could comfortably wear to work and I get confused about shoes/socks if I wear more formal trousers anyway.

Toast - hmm, do people really wear that stuff? I think I need to go to a shop, most of them look like they've been modeled on buildings from Grand Designs.
Cos - nope, again.
Jigsaw is OK, though agree quality has dropped (and the price hasn't).
Hobbs I'll only buy in the sale and generally only tops, their dresses don't suit my fat tummy.
I popped into Zara last week and thought some of their stuff was OK.
Boden/Seasalt/WhiteStuff/Fatface - all in the same box for me - OK but you need to be careful not to look like an overgrown toddler. I don't like cutesy prints; sailing boats and silly Kidston type florals etc.

I'd really like to have 6 dresses I feel happy in at any time, two pairs of work trousers, two smart skirts, five tops, then two pairs of jeans and a few l/s t shirts and jumpers.

In reality I have just moved house. I have three double wardrobes, four large drawers and another chest of four drawers all full of clothes, and two suitcases, three large bags and one box as yet not unpacked. And that doesn't include coats which are downstairs!
I could sell a few things I guess - I have some unworn Next and Hobbs stuff, BNWT, and some Coast stuff not worn often. Might raise enough to buy a few nice things I suppose. And chuck more out (I got rid of four bin bags of stuff before moving).

LadyinCement · 15/09/2017 12:13

I agree the trouble with Pinterest is that you see some lovely ideas, but it's not really any help in guiding (telling) you where to buy things.

The shoe thing foxes me. I was looking at the Boden catalogue and all the models are wearing trousers and loafer-type shoes with no socks. If I wore no socks my feet would be a bleeding mess and I'd be hobbling along looking 90, not 50.

OutToGetYou · 15/09/2017 13:22

I can do loafers no socks, for, say, shopping, but not for work, tramping about on trains and underground. And I'd be cold!

Floisme · 15/09/2017 14:21

I wear those trainer liner things so no rubbing. I assure you I have no intention of being cold but at the moment it's still around 15 degrees here and I don't find bare ankles any more uncomfortable than I do bare hands.

When it does get colder - there's a thread somewhere about wearing them with boots but I've grown to quite like a flash of sock myself. Or I may just wear something else. But then I do wear Toast so I'm probably not to be trusted Wink

I used to like Pinterest but I think it's become a bit samey although I'm possibly not looking in the right places. I prefer just watching people and despite (or maybe because of) living in a city that's ignored by retailers, I get s lot of ideas that way.

OutToGetYou · 15/09/2017 14:44

It was 6 degrees when I left home this morning, I was cross I hadn't got my gloves in my pockets. Then baking on the train.

I can't cope with those trainer liner socks - 1) they show and look naff, 2) they just slip under my foot and ruck up, then they cause blisters.

When I wear long boots I wear opaques and socks over the top.

LadyinCement · 15/09/2017 15:14

Yes, you can see trainer liners. I have to wear thick socks with everything and for sandals can only wear Clark's' unstructured range made from one piece of leather so no rough edges or stitching. I am doomed to have forever frumpy feet.

stringbean · 15/09/2017 15:16

Oh dear - just come back from trip to shops and back to square 1. Admittedly, I'd just popped in to get a b'day present for one of dd's friends, so perhaps not in shopping mode but, tempted by all winter things in John Lewis, thought I'd try some stuff on.

Where do I start? Tried on some dresses but they looked like shit on me. I tried on one from Boden (one of the Ottoman dresses mentioned up thread) but neck too high and made my boobs look huge; wrap-style one from Jigsaw - frumpy and fell open when I leaned forwards; one with ruched skirt from Hush - dubious quality far too short. Also, I have a long body and felt the waist on all of them was too high. Tried on a leather jacket I have been pondering (one from Whistles) but the sleeves were just too tight and if I'm really honest, black doesn't suit me. The only thing I LOVED was an oatmeal coloured slouchy cashmere cardigan from Toast (£145!!) but it's like half the stuff in my wardrobe already. Quite liked the Boden Dorchester skirt (A-line, moleskin), but is it just a bit middle-aged?

I was just so overwhelmed AGAIN with choice; I just didn't know where to start. I have £200 of JL vouchers, but no idea what to spend them on. Was tempted by some furniture!! Am considering personal shopper session, but no idea what to ask for. Just wish I could look a bit more 'put-together'.

OP posts:
Floisme · 15/09/2017 15:24

I've just had a good look and I can't see the trainer liner unless I put my nose to the edge of my shoe and quite honestly, it's been a while since anyone's taken such a close interest in my feet. This is with brogues mind - they might show more with loafers. I do get odd rogue ones that slip but just chuck them away when they do. But if you don't like taht look, there's a thread about wearing them with boots.

Floisme · 15/09/2017 15:32

Here's the cropped trousers with shoes thread Quite a few boot suggestions.

FreakinScaryCaaw · 15/09/2017 16:03

Thanks floeisme

Op have you tried H&M,Matalan and TKMax? Take a good friend shopping.

buggerthebotox · 15/09/2017 16:32

I'm 58 (yikes) and went through a bit of a "phase" when I turned 50. I think it's a tricky age fashion-wise as it's a psychological milestone as well as a physical one. 8 years later, I feel much better and i swear my skin is as good as ever.

I agree with the pp who says you have to like yourself.....and it can be hard work, but worth it. I never thought I'd get a waist again but I've almost got abs, kneecaps and ankles too! I shop in most shops again, although I rarely find anything I like as I've ditched the sloppy polyester.... I can wear fitted things now!

For me (I'm 5'4" and a 10/12) I like skinnies, brogues, ankle boots, fitted and cropped jackets and lots of bright colours. I wear slouchy tapered trousers with a jacket for more formal occasions.

I shop at Zara, All Saints, Mint Velvet and I've had the odd thing in the past from Phase 8. I have a long Ted Baker cardi I really like, and a Hush one. I despair of the shops at the moment, though.

I'm having my nose pierced soon; always wanted it done but never had the courage.

I really think that "invisibility" in middle age is self-imposed.

Thebluedog · 15/09/2017 16:37

Have you had a look at Pepperberry (bravissimo clothes), some lovely dresses for those of us with big boobs

Swipe left for the next trending thread