MNV Volume 76 - the blimey it's so cold edition

[shopafrolic]

We're looking forward to Spring when we can finally get our ankles out. Come and join the fun. All styles and all budgets welcome.

You really have had a rough time justa. I hope both your DF and DM are on the road to recovery now. You must be exhausted.

I love the half moon bag and peacock blue sounds amazing. Where did you see it? I've had a hankering for a mulberry Lily for a while now and I'm considering treating myself to one as I am close to completing a major work project and I reckon I deserve a reward! Not sure about which size though. I quite like the small ones but I really need to get to a shop and have a proper look. But the APC appeals a lot too.

Amber I can't wait to see you in action! Hope you do well and we get to see you in a few shows. When is it likely to broadcast?

Lib they had the mini Lilys in a few colours for £199.

Show should air end of May time. I'm sure I will blab at the MU at any rate!

Justa so sorry to hear about your DF, hope he's on the mend now. I have that Gucci scarf in silver grey; my mum has a lovely blue-grey colour.

It has been a stressful few months I feel as if I have aged about 10 years! hopefully they will both get better soon. Dm is a bit stressed about df coming home and how she will cope but he is already talking about getting back to the office!
I just saw the bag online and thought the autumn colour would be good for you lib. I love the Mulberry Lily too though. That sounds like a bargain price Amber although they are definitely very mini!

I like the sound of green converse one!

Justa sorry to read that your DF is unwell. You really had a very stressful time.

Blair knowing how much you love your car, that's awful.

Going to try and catch up with the links. I find it difficult on my phone even with new glasses. I've got a new prescription and think it will take time to get used to it.

Wrote a big post and then lost it as my phone went mental.

justa sorry to hear about your DF. You have had a tough time lately. Hope this year starts to improve for you and your family.

blair and lib A2N6 gives you 20% off and free delivery and returns st b0den until 4th march.

Hope you get used to your new glasses soon dream. When i get new ones I'm always surprised about how sharp and bright everything looks.

That's a good price for a lily amber and lib. Apparently micro bags are du jour do you would be right on trend with a lily! enabler

They had some good buys in the Swarovski shop at the Portsmouth outlet place amber so I'm sure Bicester would be even better. The leather wrap bracelets I have were £20 or £30 whereas I paid £60 in the Swarovski sale (full price they were £119).

Pretty mild here today. OOTD is monsoon navy star jumper, navy fine cord pencil skirt, tan ankle boots and navy leather wrap Swarovski bracelet. The less said about the waterproof jacket the better

I don't think my diary is going to allow me to get to the sample sale. I am fully booked in the next few days, already running late today...

I change job at the end of March and finish my studies at end of April and I really need to think hard about a lifestyle reset. I just run all the time, never feel on top of things and am acutely anxious so much. I can feel my heart racing constantly. This level of stress can't be good...Have any of you managed to do a proper reset while still coping with normal life? I have to work full time, family responsibilities are a reality, I know what needs to change (more sleep, more exercise, time for me) but actually changing is so difficult and the general environment IE stressful demanding work culture, commuting etc don't support trying to change.... then all the things I should do to help myself like exercise feel like another task on the never ending list and not doing them just adds to my sense of being overwhelmed and behind with everything.

Sorry, very non Vogue but I'd like some perspective.

lib Are you able to work at home maybe one day a week? I find this is a great help in terms of feeling less stressed with the commute and enables you to keep on top of washing and other little admin jobs. Do you have a cleaner? If not I would recommend this as then you don't have to spend time doing chores. If you do have one, could you extend her time by 30mins to help with any ironing? Could you have a couple of hours every other weekend where you do something for you (and your DH could have the other weekends for him). I have read a lot about list making saddo and it is sayd you should have 3 lists - a master list, say for the month, a weekly list and a daily list. Each list should contain different types of tasks - big ones that you want to achieve (e.g. Paint a room) medium ones like no alcohol 3 times a week and small ones like make a dr appointment or buy a birthday present. If you want to do more exercise could you break it down to something manageable e.g. 7500 steps a day or 15mins on an exercise bike or 15mins of HIIT. If it's just a small amount it might be more achievable and once you get used to doing it you could either increase it slowly or stick with it. Then you will have achieved it and won't beat yourself up about not doing it. I have been trying to make small changes that might not seem much but are much more achievable than trying to make a huge change which seems insurmountable and so we never do it. Could you just block your diary from say 5pm one day a week do you leave on time and maybe do something then? Could you do something like shop and go swimming as a family at the weekend, one of you stay with DD whilst the other one has a proper swim? Then you are still having family time but also doing something for yourself and excercising.

Oh justa so sorry to hear about your df. V stressful time for you imagine.
lib sorry to hear you're so anxious etc. everyone has some good tips. Personally I hate having a to do list unless it's very short term as I feel it sets me up to fail, but that's just me. The swimming at a weekend is a good idea. With commuting, can you get off at an earlier stop anywhere and walk the last bit? Not much in terms of exercise but gives your legs a stretch and some fresh air. I like my Gillian Michaels DVD as you can do 10 or 20 mins bursts. Although you still need the motivation to do it which is my problem half the time! As my bootcamp instructor says though, getting changed is the hardest part...

Ootd is the new Hudson boots with navy dress and navy tights. The tights are going a bit Nora batty so I need new ones but the perfect shade of navy in the denier I like is hard to find!

Lib Be kind to yourself - the last few weeks have been a serious break from the norm with DH's op. That has put a bucket load of extra pressure on. Once he is more mobile and back up and running hopefully the situation will improve somewhat.
I can't talk about a full lifestyle rest as a SAHM but the biggest positive change we have made as a family is joining the local posh hotel health club. It means that DH and I get to do some exercise, whilst also spending time with DS and watching him thrive. It's a real positive for us. We tag team in the pool and the gym, and then all spend time together in the pool too. It is £££ but has been so good that we will definitely continue with it after our trial finishes. I think historically we have tended to take it in turns spending time with DS to give each other a break but this hasn't meant we do stuff altogether.
Biggest improvements I have made to my stress levels since coming off the ADs and DF being out of hospital have been meditating when I can (never daily but I figure a few days a week is better than none), regular exercise, getting out into the day light when I can (even if it's just 10 minutes leaning against a wall in the garden with my face towards the sun) - my pilates is fab as I can drop in and out and if I have to cancel a class I get a class credit so it takes the stress away from losing the ££, and Bullet journalling to keep track of stuff.
DH and I are also trying to have a monthly date night too - hard to prioritise sometimes I admit......
Genuinely though I think a combination of your DH being back up to speed and when your course comes to end you will start to see the light again.
You genuinely are superwoman - be kind to yourself xx

Justa I'm so sorry to hear about your DF, I hope he is much better soon. Such a stressful time for you all

Lib do you think the new job will be easier in terms of stress levels in any way? This could be the change you need.

My tips are a bit hopeless as I am fully aware that my life is not as stressful and that I am in one place for work which happens to be next to a very nice gym. I go pretty much every day, often at lunch time. Work are impressed rather than annoyed (that I know of!) but I'm so aware that this wouldn't really be possible with your role. But perhaps the new job will be a bit better?

What's that saying it's always darkest before dawn, don't underestimate the full rush of what you have achieved in the last couple of years to surface as you get close to the end.

That reminded me of Florence and The Machine Marsha darkest before he dawn.... love that

Do love a bit of Florence!

Oh me too. Such a girl crush of mine.

Thanks all. Marsha there is an element of it all being overwhelming just as I am about to land what I'm working on.

Shop and everyone thanks. Lots of food for thought. One of my stresses is actually that my work base is home and because my job covers a wide area I actually travel around a lot during the day and do my desk based stuff at home either early mornings or in evenings. It means I never feel like I'm off duty. The new job should be better as I will have a fixed base and I think that might be easier and I will look into options for a gym or exercise classes near the office.

Lib I really think it will make all the difference. Right now you are having to be in a lot of places. Also yes the stress will be high due to landing it, hang in there it will be worth it, for sure.

Good grief, I've somehow managed to log out on my iPad and can't remember my password and am having a technological meltdown!!!!! So I'm on my phone ....you know that my phone sabotages my posts don't you?

Liberty shop and marsha have said it all so well....fingers crossed that everything calms down a bit from now on and with your new job. I absolutely believe in the endorphins thingies and exercise, I hope you manage to fit a little in when you start your new job...fancy yoga? Anyway you know where I am and how amazing I think you are.

Justa what a stessful time you e had, feel so sorry for you. I hope both parents are on the mend now and you can relax a bit too. X

DH always struggles to switch off if he works from home. Some of my neighbours, who do the same, find it easier working out of the local Holiday Inn on their free WiFi. Not sure if that is an option round your way Lib

Hi everyone

Justa, I am very sorry to hear about your df and hope the rest of the year is a lot less stressful.

Lib, i think you're in a unique situation at the moment because doing your job, being the sole working parent, but still trying to do mum things with miniLib and then chucking in any MBA was always going to be incredibly stressful. There's no margin for error and that's why MrLibs operation is like one brick too many on the Jenga block. Everything is of equal importance and urgency and I think you have to set the bar a lot lower and be much more pragmatic about what's realistically achievable. I also think you need to prioritise what is absolutely important to you - not everything and therefore set your red lines and then be clear with yourself what the order of priorities are in your life.

So for me, my current priorities are 1. I must spend quality time with the kids at the beginning or end of day and preferably both 2. I ditched all day back to back meetings about 6 months ago 3. I don't as a rule work after 6pm so only have time to deal with important things during that time 4. Couple time with dh is very important to me so we are prepared to use outside babysitters once a week to get this. 5. When I was well, exercise was one of my priorities so I started going to bed a little earlier and getting up 30 minutes earlier to exercise.

I guess the question for you is what would your priorities be?

On a fashion note, Blair I keep thinking of you - I love love love my Burberry and hope you are enjoying wearing yours.

Aw lib I have nothing useful to say about stress management being a ball of stress myself atm but excellent advice from others. Hopefully things will get better once your dh is better and you change jobs. Its hard when everything happens together. I am also trying to get my house sorted out which has been empty since the end of November. I am renovating it atm and its costing me most of my savings. Not sure I am doing the right thing as its a nice house in a not so nice area where I only attract crappy tenants. At some point I need to decide whether to develop into flats or sell it and buy elsewhere.

lib I'm not the best person to advice as I am always floundering, however, some things I do that might help:

• fitness blender on YouTube have some great 10-15 min workouts. That pretty much all I do at the mo and I'm in reasonable shape, I hope.

• manage your expectations of yourself; you can't be all things to all people, as tempting as it is to try. I have accepted I don't have time to piss around doing junk modelling/baking/Sanskrit flash cards and, actually, that's ok. I do the important stuff and that's the main thing.

• retain a sense of perspective. When I'm feeling panicky about a deadline, I remind myself that I'm not actually that important and no-one will die if that email is sent tomorrow morning rather than tonight.

• Leverage as much as you can. I am guilty of being a bit of a micro-manager and not delegating enough. I'm trying to change this!

• ringfence some 'you' time, even if it's just half an hour in the bath. You will be more effective and enthused if you do this. See also: sleep (need to take my own advice here).

• use your time as efficiently as possible (you probably already do this). I use my commute to respond to emails/do the online grocery shop/do life-admin stuff. This has been a game changer for me.

That's all I can think of, but please remember we are all paddling frantically underwater (says she simultaneously MNing, working and sewing a Mog costume for world book day).

I'm sorry sorry to post so intermittently - but I do love love to read this thread as you all inspire me so much - in fashion - but in so many other ways as well.

Lib - your post touched a nerve with me - I could have written it myself. I regularly feel like I can't keep up with things (work full time, lone parent for many years, significant responsibility at work). I am happy career-wise and I am very lucky to have a wonderful DP and friends etc. But everything is often too much for me and I often feel overwhelmed by normal life - or just annoyed with myself that I can't keep up.

I too, know what I need: exercise , sleep, me-time/ any time - same as you.

What I am trying at the moment is: getting nanny to stay half hour later 3 nights/week (DCs stay up far too late but at least I get some exercise as go for a run in that time); working from home once a fortnight.

When I had a train/tube commute I used to meditate using an app on my phone - it was very empowering - I can't recommend it enough.

I spoke with my lovely GP last week and she recommended a form of ADs - I am trialling them and I feel much calmer and more focussed already. Worth considering maybe?

I post some links with new purchases next!

Blingy and others - thanks for your comments and links re the Cartier trinity ring. I think it's still the one for me. One of the reasons is that it has the pink and yellow gold in it - and, as a deep autumn, I have switched to wearing gold jewellery in recent years.

Warehouse embroidered floral knit arrived and it's perfect. Very happily surprised it is cotton-rich and not too synthetic-feeling.

I just ordered this skirt. Hope it fits okay.

Also ordered this giraffe dress from Whistles - does someone else already have it?

I love love love love the Hermes du jour perfume Blingy and recently bought an extra bottle for my DM when I stocked up for myself.

My best buy of the last season has to be the St Laurent navy tote. I use it for work / family days / weekend breaks - never would have guessed how useful it would be!

Realised my post was a bit me, me, me didn't mean to go on about myself so much! lib hope you can get some respite soon. It's hard but you must make time for yourself.
Fairy for you too, sounds like you have had tough times but have made some positive changes. I love the SL tote. It has been on my wishlist for a while now so good to hear you are pleased with it.

Does anyone have any experience of Jerome Dreyfuss bags? I would like a small but not tiny shoulder/crossbody bag in a light colour for summer. Wondering what the quality is like. I need to do a lot of ebaying first though!

Loving all the great advice on here - you lot are such a lovely bunch of ladies

I don't have much to add Lib. I've started doing yoga again recently - kept dislocating my dodgy shoulder doing the 30 day shred - and am loving doing more peaceful exercise. It could be a way to get exercise and relaxation at the same time. Also would you be able to start cutting back on work ahead of your move? Could you go down to 4 days a week?

Sorry to hear about DF too Justa. Sounds like you've had a pretty stressful year.

Darkest hour reminds me of Bob Dylan "they say the darkest hour is just before the dawn"

I like the patchwork skirt fairy, someone definitely has the giraffe dress Shop?

Dh just got his bonus which we need to save for house upheaval - the architect says what we want is about £50k over budget - eek. But he did buy me a bottle of Frederic Malle perfume Potrait of a Lady, which I've wanted for ages so I am very pleased with that.

I'm trying to give up coffee for lent. I have a blinding headache today 9day 2) and am wondering if it's withdrawal? have had 3 cups of tea though!

Yeah Stokey headaches are likely to be caffeine withdrawal although I thought tea and coffee had just as much TBH.......
I have giraffe print blouse and sweater - I think it might be Fedup with the dress? Fab print.
Just back from a lovely lunch with DH - feel stuffed. Off to see 50 Shades tonight - it's going to be sooooooo bad.