how to do sexy?

[shinyredbookcase]

Name changed here, as I'm a bit embarrassed. That's probably part of the problem.

My youngest has just started school. I'm finding myself - slowly - again, and putting together a wardrobe of smart, well fitting things in colours and styles I like. The look is kind of plain and casual and classic. Which is fine.

But I'd like some outfits that are a little more sexy - a little more playful. I'm not frumpy but I am sensible and I'd like to get out of that rut.

I'm very slim and pretty flat chested. Don't have much in the way of curves...

Can anyone suggest any shops or pieces for me to get started?

I think if you're slim and quite flat chested, what can look sexy in a playful fun way is wearing a sheer shirt with a cute little bralette underneath and skinny jeans with heels or ankle boots. You can obviously see the bra through the shirt but if you're quite flat cheated it doesn't look obscene!!

I think backless dresses look sexy on slim women who don't need huge amounts of scaffolding to keep the bosoms hoiked up.
Also paying attention to footwear - simple jeans top combo with red slingbacknkitten heels.- that sort of thing.

I have a bit of a style crush on Katharine Hepburn at the moment and I think she looks incredibly sexy in this photo. It's not just that she's very beautiful (although that helps) - I think it's the air of confidence and insouciance that nails it.

Not suggesting you should copy that look but trying to say there are lots of ways of looking sexy.

I don't think sex appeal comes from wearing certain clothes. It's more about inner confidence.
Some women look sexy wearing a sack, others just look as if they've tried too hard if they wear 'sexy' clothes.

I suppose it depends on what you mean bu 'sexy' and for what occasion? School run, night out, shopping in Tesco? :)
More context needed.

Yes - more context. Well, it would be clothes for home really. I'd like to attract my DH's attention a little. He's used to me being very practical and sensible and I'd like to be a little more playful - for him to see that side of me. More feminine, I suppose.

Maybe it is about confidence. I hate the way my face looks - avoid being photographed and spend as little time as possible looking in mirrors. Objectively, I'm on the unpleasant side of plain to look at. That's just the way it is - not everyone is pretty. I've bought some new makeup and I am working on figuring out what my good features are so I can emphasise them.

I'm very slim and pretty flat chested. Don't have much in the way of curves..
See the Times magazine for yesterday and you will be encouraged! Apparently the top plastic surgeons in Paris aim for that look and think the curves people get Plastic surgery to achieve here, and in the USA, are very unattractive. They aim to produce the gentlest sort of curves.

I'm never going to be able to do cleavage, but a crisp white shirt, good jeans and kitten heels, I could do.

I'm confident about my stomach and backside - I'm toned - so there is that. I could wear something very form-fitting and not look too terrible in it.

I suppose tom-boyish could be sexy, maybe?

I know this might sound terribly 1950s, but if you want to dress to attract your DH's attention, what has he complimented in the past? About you - parts of body, hair styles/colour, level of grooming? Or just types of look in general.

Do you feel comfortable with any of them?

And if you are confident with your lower half, then tight skinnies and heels might be the start point. In an eye-catching colour perhaps? Sainsburys had some lovely dark red jeggings in the run up to Christmas.

I think something that looks really sexy for around the house is jumper dresses with over the knee socks or slouchy ankle socks.

Show your waist. If you are flat chested have a very good, well fitted padded bra.

I think you're doing yourself down, your husband clearly found you attractive so you are.

Sexy isn't really about dress, but well fitting jeans, a fitted top, hair done, light make up that sort of thing works.

Well, I'm clever, witty and a great friend - I have lots of good qualities that attracted my DH to me - my face isn't one of them but I can work with what I've got.

BUT he does say I have nice eyes and a very good backside and legs so I can emphasise those things.

I like the idea of brightly coloured skinny jeans and kitten heels - that I could do.

There are some shoe bargains in the Zara sale with wearable low heels.
m.zara.com/uk/en/sale/woman/shoes/view-all/printed-medium-heel-shoes-c734150p3610307.html

I honestly don't think that it's a problem not being conventionally pretty. I'd suggest you browse the Internet for French style. The typical Parisian look does not rely on prettiness, but favours the slim, flat chested woman with a face that is more interesting than beautiful. As well as the looks PP's have suggested, you could try a short skirt and polo neck type outfit, as you obviously have the figure for it.

Oh, and buy a set of really lovely underwear and don't keep it for "best"!

Héloïse Letissier - Christine and the Queens is another androgynous dresser who I think looks really sexy: flashes of skin, beautifully cut clothes (probably £££ admittedly) but everything just a little bit 'off' as if she's just got out of bed. Love that tattoo on her wrist.

And if your legs and arse are good, I think a fitted pencil skirt with a silk shirt can look very sexy too: Barbara Stanwyck in Double Indemnity or Kathleen Turner in Body Heat (can you tell I like old movies!) - shamelessly copied by Gillian Anderson in The Fall.

I know they are a bit off the radar, but I remember watching a Trinny and Susannah programme with a very slim, flat chested lady and the things they got her to wear were:

silky sleeveless tops with chest detailing eg. ruffles, beading
silky sleeveless tops with a high neck and cutaway arms, like halter style
slim fit trousers

Hth.

putting together a wardrobe of smart, well fitting things in colours and styles I like. The look is kind of plain and casual and classic. Which is fine.
But I'd like some outfits that are a little more sexy - a little more playful

Make what you already have more sexy/playful. Add touches like shoes, jewellery, scarves, handbag, belt, sunglasses, hat.

You can't bolt-on sexiness. Do what method actors do and 'inhabit the role', find a persona. Library-chic, maybe?

If you've got good legs and bum how about a playsuit worn with opaques and ankle boots? Quite "playful" and a bit sexy. Google it for inspiration. Much more appealing than skinny jeans IMO. Or some fitted high-waisted shorts if the playsuit is a bit out of your comfort zone.

A jumpsuit could also work well - I feel confident but also comfortable in mine and they suit slim and flat-chested people.

I think men and women tend to have different ideas of what looks sexy. I read an article which asked men what their fashion turn-offs were on women and it seems a lot of them really didn't like wedge heels!
When I was younger and on the pull I found animal print always worked, or a splash of anything red.

Have you had a look at Mint Velvet? they do casual with a bit of glamour, not so much at the moment with all the winter sweaters (and sometimes the quality isn't great for the price) but keep an eye on the new Spring stuff coming out. If you normally wear plain and casual it wouldn't be too far out of your comfort zone.

What's handy with the MV website is they tend to use the same handful of models so you can look at what they are wearing that makes them look fatter/ thinner/ curvier/ whatever so it gives a bit of an idea how it would suit your shape. Same with Next - I was looking at a top in their directory the other day but it made the model look like she had huge arms, same model but different top looked much thinner, so I know to give that top a miss.

Oh god, I'm soooooo jealous! I would love to have a slender, androgynous look, but even at my slimmest I have 50s pin-up curves. I know a lot of people like that look but I hate it - if I dress to show my figure I feel I look sleezy; if I don't I look huge (because everything hangs off the enormo-boobs). I had a thread on here a while ago asking how I could dress to look stylish rather sexy.

If I were you, I'd wear either skinny trousers/jeans with strappy tops and a smart blazer, or boyfriend jeans with oversized sweaters, preferably hanging off one shoulder. I think flashing a bit of shoulder is always sexy in a subtle way - unless you're built like me, in which case the presence of a huge thick bra strap ruins the look entirely.

Seriously, sooooooooo jealous.

I love Emilia Fox's look in Silent Witness. She wears skinny jeans with high heeled ankle boots and pretty little shirts. She is also very slim/small busted and she always looks dead sexy in a very understated way. I bet you would too.

I have pretty much the same body shape. What I love wearing and dp always comments on too are pencil skirts with either a blouse, loose fitting fine neck jumper tucked in or polo neck on. You can find more stretchier, woollen type skirts this time of year rather than the tight ones that I find it hard to walk in.

There are some nice tops around at the minute that are covered high at the front but showing more of the nape of the neck and between the shoulders.

Accessories very important too, especially necklaces I think. They can distract the attention away from the lack of cleavage/boobs. Wouldn't necessarily stay away from low cut tops either. On the whole I do but the right shape of low v I can get away with.

I'm small and skinny and find that most brands do not fit me well. Waistlines and armholes are all on the wonk or I end up swimming in fabric.

When i find brands that are perfect, I tend to really stick to them:

APC for anything I can get my paws on! They are expensive even at sale time but their clothes are cut beautifully and last for ever. I love their dresses and tops and was given a wool coat for Christmas. I've had my previous one for 10 years and it is still perfectly serviceable. You can pick up some good bits on eBay although their sizing can be a bit varied
Sessun is another good one for dresses
Topshop can be really good for tops
Cos can be good - I've had a couple of wool dresses from them, their sizing is very generous
H&M for their super skinny low jeans, some knitwear and at the moment, little back-buttoned blouses
Diesel for not-skinny jeans - Matic is a good low cut straight-ish style, nice rolled up with pointy ballerinas and a little fine knit jumper

An alternative would be learning to sew - or making friends with a good seamstress. Tailoring shop bought clothes to fit you perfectly is reasonably straightforward or if you fancy really going for it and making your own garnents, Tilly and the Buttons is quite an inspiring place to start.

Good luck!