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Extreme self care anyone?

129 replies

ChapstickLegends · 25/12/2016 16:59

Is anyone familiar with the Cheryl Richardson book 'The Art of Extreme Self Care'?

It's not only about physical self-care but also mental and emotional.

I've been aware of it for years and I suppose I've adapted bits of it to suit my life but I think it's time to ramp things up in 2017.

The book is 99p on Kindle at the moment if you're interested in taking a look.

Anyone want to join me to work through it (at least the bits we find useful?)

OP posts:
FoolandFitz · 01/01/2017 18:03

Creative outlet. But what? and how to find it?

Snap. I have the same problem. I'm not artistic or musical or crafty but I have the need to be creative.

LordPeterWimsey · 01/01/2017 18:16

I need to start writing again. I used to write creatively, but have a very dry analytical job (which I do love), and somehow that has sucked the creativity out of me - I need to rediscover it.

And I need to improve my diet. I eat too much sugar, particularly when I'm stressed, and not enough vegetables.

FrustratedFrugal · 01/01/2017 20:34

Tamsworth thanks for your post Flowers- you were able to write down a lot of things I have been unable to formulate clearly in my head. So much food for thought!

My creative outlets: writing nonfiction and occasional public speaking. And pottering in the kitchen and my makeup collection Wink

Even if you are not very artistic you could still consider photography - I like documenting great moments (people, places) on a private Instagram account.

Tamsworth17 · 02/01/2017 11:04

Fooland maybe we should brainstorn some ideas together? I also think of myself as no good at music, arts or crafts. But should we let that stop us? I don`t thnk so, if we do it for us to relax, enjoy and create - nobody has to see what we create! I just get frustrated quickly and give up. Maybe I´m not fit for one big passion, but to try lots of different ones. I might find my big love along the way, or might go through some short flings Smile.What do you mean when you say you need to be creative? what sort of thing makes you feel good there?

Lord what did you write? what did you do with it? just keep it to yourself?

Thanks frustrated for those suggestions. Writing and photography would fit in with my lifestyle. I also liked your suggestion of thinking what would be on DH`s list. I did shake my head when I was reading about Richardson writing her list for her DH, and her DH doing it happily. I can´t quite see it happening as DH has so much going on. Flipping it around might work, but not if I only give and he only takes. I am glad your DH also gave you some time you needed with your friend.

I started this free, online course a couple of years ago, but gave up due to time
www.futurelearn.com/courses/start-writing-fiction. anyone want to try it? It´s starting again on the 9 Jan.

FrustratedFrugal · 02/01/2017 11:17

Tamsworth that course sounds super interesting! I will check it out. It might be the one new creative thing I will do this year!

DH is pretty busy too, we both have fairly demanding FT careers (mine is more taxing and stressful, his involves more travel). I feel we distribute household tasks pretty 50-50, but sometimes he does the majority of them. So that's why I don't want to further increase his load.

I've read on and the latest chapter of Extreme Self-Care talks about creating inviting spaces within your home. I am right now trying to work in my work alcove that is so cluttered with extra furniture, storage boxes and items that won't fit anywhere else that being there is almost impossible - so will try to sort that out this January.

feettothestars · 02/01/2017 11:40

The future learn courses are excellent. I spent ten weeks in hospital last year and they saved me!

stumblymonkey · 02/01/2017 22:00

I've just read the first chapter while waiting for a flight back from Berlin....at first I thought 'this doesn't really apply to me' as I'm fairly assertive and while I help people out a fair amount, I wouldn't say I'm a people pleaser.

However I've reflected, especially after reading PP with mobility issues, and have realised that I've deprived myself in other ways after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

My list is that I've deprived myself of:

  • Passion for, and achievements in, my career since my diagnosis
  • A healthy balanced diet
  • Taking care of myself in terms of grooming, personal self care

Also:

  • Having time to devote to creative outlets I enjoy like sewing and crafting.
FrustratedFrugal · 03/01/2017 19:44

I've finished Extreme Self-Care yesterday. Lots of really good ideas. I like the suggestion in the end of creating a 10-step self-care plan. (I hope I remember this correctly.)

My New Year's resolutions are addressing some of the things that I want to tackle right now (eating, drinking, exercise, shopping, sleep).

Quite unexpectedly, I also found a 12h audio course on Creative Nonfiction on Audible and started listening to it immediately. That will be my creative outlet this January!

Other things to consider later are decluttering my study and nightstand, health checkups, reducing screen time, and letting my anger cool down to preserve self-respect. And creating that self-care plan.

This book was really worth far more than the 1€ that I paid Wink

humanfemale · 03/01/2017 21:28

The woman who wrote this book also has a podcast so think I might give that a listen. Tried to stick it on at the gym yesterday but it was very quiet, even on full volume, with all the treadmills etc! But thought I'd pass on for anyone who likes a podcast.

I haven't got far with the book, unfortunately. But this is mainly because I've been feeling stressed out so have chosen to read a lovely comforting novel instead... thus caring for myself by shelving the self care book for this week.

Im massively into self care generally though, so hoping I'll still be able to join in with the chat on this thread even without having read all the book.

So far this week I have:

Gone to the gym twice, even though one of the times the house was a STY and I thought about staying home to tidy it. The exercise made me feel brilliant.

Asked my assistant to answer some emails for me, just so I could have a break. Normally I would definitely have just sucked it up and done it myself (and it felt super uncomfortable even asking her!) but she was happy to, and it was all fine!

Hope you guys are all having good weeks!

humanfemale · 03/01/2017 21:31

@frugal your post has made me want to get on and read the book actually! It sounds great

Joinourclub · 03/01/2017 22:36

I need to go this. My entire life at the moment seems to be the kids (3 and 6 months). I have completely neglected myself. This year I want to take better care of my 'appearance' (get my hair cut, take care of my skin, put on done make up, wear something other than jeans and a stripy t shirt), lose a stone, exercise, sleep more, have some regular nights out with my husband, see more of friends, read more books, find an activity to 'relax' in the evenings that isn't tv. Feels like quite a list.

Pollypeapod · 04/01/2017 09:49

hi, am I too late to join? love the idea of this and it might motivate me to take better care of myself. Basically, I'm suffering from depression and find it really hard to do a lot of the basics in self care, but I'm feeling more determined with the new.year to have a fresh start. I'd like to start with drinking at least two litres of water a day and maybe digging out my fitbit again to track my steps. I'm conscious of not adding too many goals as failure to complete them will make me feel worse about myself! Curious about the condition-wash-cindition notion, my hair used to be my crowning glory but is now shoved in a bun most days and needs a good chopping.

Jmangel · 05/01/2017 10:54

Hey, just started reading this and feeling quite overwhelmed - the 2nd? chapter on mothering really struck a nerve as I often find myself getting shouty with DDs when really I'm stressed with state of myself/house/life admin.
So I'm going to continue reading as the paragraph about how she takes care of her kitten had me in tears.
I'm going to take a day a month where we don't leave the house all day so that I can catch up on all the jobs that get on top of me whilst DDs play/watch movies. We did this yesterday and everyone including me was so happy and relaxed. No arguing all day.
Plus I'm going to find an ironing lady as realise that instead of ironing in front of Netflix at night, I could take some proper me time and have a bath/pamper instead.
I'm also going to be more productive and assertive at work - I'm not a people pleaser with social life but I am with work.
So far, not finding this book necessarily about style and beauty - it's so much more than that. More life coaching. Thanks for the red OP.

Jmangel · 05/01/2017 10:55

That was rec!

FrustratedFrugal · 06/01/2017 18:51

Not too late to join!

I've done a few things over the past few days

  1. Got a plumber to fix a leaky toilet - something I've postponed a long time.
  1. I've read a book on sleep and realized that my sleep problems go hand in hand with my difficulty of expressing and processing negative emotions. And that having a Dry January has a big positive impact on my sleep.
  1. Have found various substitutes for wine - soda water, tisanes, decaf Yorkshire tea, and delicious fruit vinegar shrubs. Eating better too.
  1. Am about halfway through the Creative Nonfiction course on Audible. It's excellent and I've learned so much!
LordPeterWimsey · 06/01/2017 19:21

The stuff about making your habitat work really resonates with me, though sadly I'm not going to be building my dream house in this life. I'm feeling much calmer and happier since moving jobs, and that's partly because my office makes me happy (old job was miserable open-plan hell-hole). Home doesn't make me unhappy but could be better - later in the year, when I have a bit more cash, I'm going to replace my bed with something a bit smaller so that I can have a small sofa in my room. I decorated last year so it's at least a nice calming colour. That room is my space and if I can make it really comfortable and lovely to retreat to, that would be a big step forward.

Freeatlast2017 · 06/01/2017 20:15

I have been neglecting my health for a few years eg too busy to make appointments, putting things off till the last moment. After reading this book and identifying my health as an area where I was deprived I kept a health appointment that I had already cancelled once. I was thinking of excuses to myself to get out of it but I'm glad I went as it was good news and now there is one thing less to worry about!

3luckystars · 06/01/2017 20:40

I'm going to download it and will report back!

I will read it before I read "I can make you debt free! How to stop buying shit online because it was recommended on mumsnet" because this sounds like it would do me more good. Thanks for the tip off,at 99p there is bound to be at least a few tips for 2017, thank you.

FoolandFitz · 07/01/2017 11:32

What do you mean when you say you need to be creative? what sort of thing makes you feel good there?

Tamsworth I have spent the last few days thinking about this question. As a child my parents were always about academia and everything was geared towards getting good grades to enable me to get to university and getting a good degree to enable to have a high earning lifelong career. I failed spectacularly with regards to this btw. Smile I remember asking to learn to play an instrument when I was about 12 but the answer was a definitive no (tbf my parents at that time did not have a lot of money to spare).

Anyway, I get a real sense of achievement out of something that I have created myself. I also spend a long time thinking about and planning and then adapting my ideas. It's the process I enjoy as well as a sense of "look, I did that" and that has included making clothes, photography, decoupage, glass work and lots of other things. Some of these things I have made and created have sold but mostly they have been given away. But I never stick at anything, mostly because the pieces don't look like I want them to look eg I don't think my skills are good enough, except for glass work. I like working with glass but it's prohibitively expensive and my funds can't stretch that much in my current situation.

maybe we should brainstorn some ideas together? What sorts of creative things have you done in the past?

Tamsworth17 · 07/01/2017 15:36

Nice to see so many new posters and posts! I´ve had flu over the holidays and have had many days of not leaving the house and it felt so good. Normally I get cabin fever and rush about, but I feel so relaxed after taking it easier.

3luckystars - I need that book too - could you write it please?

I´ve made some progress. I sorted out my wardrobe and took things that don't fit me anymore and some books to the charity shop. It´s now tidier which makes me feel better when opening it up. Lord you gave me an idea: I´ve also thought about setting up a reading corner - I don´t have somewhere comfortable to read, and often end up doing it in bed, but I´d like to change that. I`m going to save up for an Ikea trip for a nice chair, lamp and side table for books and cups of tea.

I´ve signed up for the futurelearn course, starting on Monday and am looking forward to that. Frustrated- what`s the course you are doing called? How long is it? I don´t have an audible account but may do that free trial.

I also need to book some medical appointments and will do that as soon as I get back to work and see what my schedule looks like.

FoolandFritz - you sound really creative! thats a shame about your parents not letting you play an instrument. But is it too late? could you learn one now? DH, in his 50s, has taken up an instrument in the past year and is really enjoying it. I thought of taking one up but not so sure yet. I also thought of taking singing lessons, I´ve always been told I cant sing, but I read a book that says that only about 5% of the population really can`t sing, the others just need to train their ear and voices. I may still try and see if I really belong to that exclusive 5% . Singing with the dc when they were little always lifted my mood, they didn´t care how well or badly I sang.

Which makes me think of what you wrote about giving things up because they weren´t as good as you expected. Do you think your skills could get better with more practise? I had a similar experience with sewing, I went to a 3-hour class and made a bag. Then I got a cheap sewing machine and started trying to make things- it was then that I realised how much help the teacher had given me. I failed at step one - cutting material in a straight line! I got frustrated and gave up soon after. But maybe I need to go to another class? you`ve made clothes, you say? Is that something you could go back to doing?

I think it`s also linked to "why are we doing this activity?" Is it for us, to calm nerves, give focus, just be creative? or for wider validation and admiration? or to become really good at it? I get easily frustrated which is why I am fickle with my activities, but maybe that is also okay?

when you say working with glass, do you mean glass blowing? could you afford to do it less often and do something else too?

At the moment, Ive got back into knitting. Im really not very good, but reading the Candy´s Hugs thread made me want to join. It has a purpose too...I like that and need that. I can do it from home - also needed. There isn`t a long set up process - getting that sewing machine out was sometimes too much of an effort. See how long that lasts Wink

FrustratedFrugal · 09/01/2017 17:17

This is the course Tamsworth - Creative Nonfiction. Great for anyone interested in travel writing, memoirs, biographies or writing for magazines. I've written a lot of nonfiction but learned a lot from this course - Tilar Mazzeo is a great teacher - and I have recommended this course to a friend who is also a writer.

I am thinking about writing a book this year. Also want to learn more about public speaking.

FrustratedFrugal · 09/01/2017 17:24

Oh and the wtiting course is 12 hours in 24 sessions, but you can listen to them back to back and the assignments are optional. I am more interested in hearing the theory than practising writing dialogue but the course is stimulating nevertheless.

I also created a reading corner by placing an armchair and a nice lamp in a quiet corner. I want to read when others are watching TV!

ImprovingMyMH · 09/01/2017 20:51

Oops, I'm back on this once I find my Kindle!

3luckystars · 10/01/2017 15:01

I found the kindle but it's not 99p anymore (here anyway) I think my kindle might be an American version though?
I think I will still get though, it sounds good! Looking forward to reading this thread.

Tamsworth17 · 11/01/2017 19:17

Thanks frustrated - the link just takes me to the sign up page for audible but, with the name, I`ve found a free pdf version of the book online.Smile

3lucky - the price will depend on where your kindle is registered, ie your amazon account details. I know someone living in Spain who has her kindle registered at her parents´address in Uk and so can shop on amazon.uk.