Extreme self care anyone?

[ChapstickLegends]

Is anyone familiar with the Cheryl Richardson book 'The Art of Extreme Self Care'?

It's not only about physical self-care but also mental and emotional.

I've been aware of it for years and I suppose I've adapted bits of it to suit my life but I think it's time to ramp things up in 2017.

The book is 99p on Kindle at the moment if you're interested in taking a look.

Anyone want to join me to work through it (at least the bits we find useful?)

frugal no laughing here, I have a very similar list.

Mine reads:
Exercise
Fresh air
Fun with dh and kids
Appreciation from dh and kids
Time for hobbies
Time with friends
Time with wider family

It's no bloody wonder I feel so fucked off with life atm, such a short list but it says a lot about my life.

This might be up my street, I will take a look, thanks for the heads up.

Thanks Chapsticks, l guess you're right. Maybe one on my list is to keep with it... and prioritise a bit of my time. I do feel a bit pulled in many directions and like l need to stay in control...like the book says we all do? Will think about what I'm deprived of...like your list frustratedfrugal. Very truthful and thought provoking and many things you can do something about...I'm a very practical person.

My list reads like this:

Human company
Exercise
Healthy food
Nice/new clothes/hair etc general appearance I guess
Laughter
Attention from my dh
Time with friends
Positive feedback/appreciation

I often feel very lonely and in need of a hug, I rarely feel like I belong or are part of a team. I often feel sad when I look at the older me.

ilove I have a chronic illness so my thoughts were that I can't do anything about the things that deprives me of but you're right, it is an umberella under which sits lots of little things that actually I might be able to improve and change. Will still be ill but there might be things I can wrestle back from it. If that makes sense.

I'm about half way through now, on the chapter about what you'll say no to. I guess what's acceptable, what your boundaries to life are? I'm aware I do and don't do things that I wish I didn't/do, I've diluted my ideals. Finding the book really useful. Going to be hard to pick one chapter to focus on for a month.
Btw op thanks for suggesting the book.

It makes perfect sense, Enid.

Finished reading it, not sure which chapter to start with...

I haven't been looking after my appearance and have become a bit scruffy which I identified on my deprived list. So I have just put 13 items in my bag in the house of Fraser online sale (to be edited!) and done my hair.

I'm going to join in. My list includes exercising to combat anxiety, raising my self esteem. I left a violent partner and he left his mark. I'll also save for new clothes as I'm now around a size 6 to 8 and everything I own is huge on me (unintentional weightloss and I'll probably gain weight again, but would be good to look reasonable now as I try to feel better and start working). Better living circumstances and better boundaries definitely on the list.

Realised from reading all your posts that I need to give the deprived list some proper thought. Initially I thought, how on Earth can I truthfully say I am deprived of anything when I compare myself to, for example the children orphaned in Syria? But, now I think I get it...... I too am deprived of a healthy diet, exercise and so on.
Need to create time to make my own list.

Not so sure about the upsetting people stuff. I generally say no (nicely) these days as a result of nearly breaking down due to a varying mix of stress, depression and anxiety over the past three years. Will give it some thought though.
Need to try the mirror bit without as I'm sure laughing at myself is not the idea

The deprived list is interesting. Just realised that I actually can't look at myself in mirror. That'll be a good step and I like FrugalFashionista's idea of affirming yourself in mirrors. I'll try to get a copy of the book. May even make an amazon account.

I've just watched some of her YouTube videos and I'll now download the book and join in! I often feel sad that I've so little control over my life - work, family, home - and think of things I'd like to do. I need to free up time and give myself permission to do things, and also hear how others manage it.
I do speak to myself in mirrors. When I'm feeling bad I' ll look in the mirror, smile and say " hello gorgeous". It feels wierd but funny too. Try it!

I told myself I Love You in the mirror twice today and found it really hard! Cringy and just really uncomfortable. But I will persevere because i want to give this a chance. Will carry on reading tonight..

I gave the mirror thing a go last night and sure enough I started picking at spots and lumps.
I tried the write a list for your dh today, but he ended up coming home later than me and instantly fell asleep on the sofa, so I did them all apart from one myself...
beckyandtina I feel the same, I feel sad that I feel compromised all of the time.
I'm also really sad about my figure. I went to Westfield today as I had to get something for a new job I start on Tuesday, looking at myself in the mirror in the changing room I didn't recognise the blob in front of me, up a dress size too :(

Following with interest, will obtain book too. I'm very lucky in many respects with work life balance but really feel I don't optimise that properly with time for myself and prioritising myself as well. I've basically forgotten what I enjoy doing and therefore struggle to make time for anything which i might like to do, then the cycle goes on....

Placemarking for later and thinking about what I'm deprived of.
Definitely a healthy diet but I'm just finishing off the Christmas booze stash for the New Year!

Good luck with your new job Karcheer!

Just bought the book and reading the first chapter. I was a bit put off by the 'extreme' at first, but it seems interesting.

Working on my list. The first thing that popped out at me was honesty - I'm a people pleaser: I struggle to say what I need and lack the bravery to disagree with people.

I recently did that MN game of letting your autocorrect 'talk' to see what words you use most frequently and it sounded like Mary Poppins on hard drugs. No one is 'lovely' 'happy' 'brilliant' 'amazing' all the time.

Just bumping this to see how everyone is getting on .

I'm ~2/3 of the way through the book. I was worried that it would be a bit grating, but it's actually okay. Although I can't currently afford to build my dream house . It's chiming with some of my NY resolutions, and some of the other changes that I've tried to work towards over the last year or so. I'm not formally doing the exercises, but I am taking note of anything that I feel is relevant. So, all in all, I think it's more than worth the 99p and a couple of hours of my time.

Happy New Year!

I'm in. I changed job last year, which addressed some of the biggest issues I had, but I don't do things that I could do to look after myself, and then I get ratty and unkind with DD because I'm exhausted and fed up.

Thanks for starting this thread Chapstick

I downloaded the book and have read the whole thing! I like the idea of starting off with self-affirmations and have done it a couple of times (got DS to do it too!) but last time I looked in the mirror I got side tracked by noticing how hairy I am . I will keep trying.

My list:
Vegetables
Fruit
Exercise
Time with DP
Time with friends (the very few I have)
Lack of friends
No creative outlet

Update - I've started by addressing my carb heavy diet. I realized I can make a plate-size meal just for me and this means that the food can be imaginative and fun. I've made a small salad with extra protein most nights (today, baby spinach, chicken, raspberries and walnuts, plus homemade kale chips) and also cooked a couple of nice lunches. I also checked FDA daily recommendations regarding
protein and have a better idea what to eat.

I've also walked a lot during the past week and spent a day out doing a 15km hike with a good friend. It was wonderful.

I tend to forget about the affirmations. One of the exercises in the book is making a list 'Ways of supporting me' and sharing it with your family. I've not done that but I've imagined what DH's list would look like (we've been together for 20 years this year so I have a pretty good idea...) and have surprised him by volunteering to do some of those tasks. As a result, he seems to be mirroring me! For example, today he took DC ice skating today so that I could have a long walk.

Thanks for starting this thread. I've read the book, and though I rolled my eyes in some places (I can´t afford to pay people to do things I don`t want to do, nor build my dream house) I have focused on the smaller things that I can maybe change.

karcheer good luck with your new job. I also hate real shopping, and do a lot of shopping online, this way I can try things on at home, when I am in the mood. But that might not work if you need something urgently to wear to work. I hope you found something.

I think my trick to saying I love you in the mirror is lighting and distance so that the hairy/spotty/wrinkly/blemished bits can`t be seen.

What am I deprived of:

• Exercise. I had a step counter to make sure I did 10,000 steps a day. I lost it in the house somewhere and haven`t been able to find it so I need to stop thinking it`s somewhere and just get a new one.
• Fun. It`s work, home and family life is rather stressful due to dc being at a tricky age and one having MH issues.
• Creative outlet. But what? and how to find it? I thought sewing would be it, but I´m not patient enough and I´m unable to follow instructions

so that just frustrated me. I might need to try again.

• Healthy eating . This means less snacking and sugar for me.
• Positive feedback. I get little at work and little at home. I don´t need much, but just someone who says I am doing good enough.
• Time for myself to either spend on my own or with friends. They have time in the evenings, and evenings are hard to get away from at home.
• Making a contribution to the community. I live in an area which has taken in refugees, and near an old people's home and I would like to do some voluntary work. I haven´t done this so far, because my family needs me and my working hours. I wonder how I can fit that in with my other commitments.
• Excitement. Need to try new things to break the routine. A beatbox lesson is my latest fantasy. I`d also like to write real letters to someone.
• The ability to stand up for myself. I am sometimes just left speechless when I should strike back (verbally, I mean)

I'm in, and have just bought the kindle version. I haven't started reading it yet, but scrolling through posts here, the one thing I know I am deprived of is sleep. I have a not very good evening routine and need to take better care of myself in that way for sure.