Extreme self care anyone?

[ChapstickLegends]

Is anyone familiar with the Cheryl Richardson book 'The Art of Extreme Self Care'?

It's not only about physical self-care but also mental and emotional.

I've been aware of it for years and I suppose I've adapted bits of it to suit my life but I think it's time to ramp things up in 2017.

The book is 99p on Kindle at the moment if you're interested in taking a look.

Anyone want to join me to work through it (at least the bits we find useful?)

Marking place. I've read about a third of the book so far. Completely agree with the author- in principle- that looking after oneself necessarily involves reducing the amount one does for others.

I could really have done with this book a few years ago when I was being run ragged at work. It's not as applicable to my situation now, as my time is eaten up by child- and baby-care which isn't optional.

I definitely want to get out of the "good girl/ people pleasing" mindset and I've already made inroads into this in the last couple of years. Good to find a book that endorses that and crystallises some of my general ideas about the benefits of putting yourself first at least sometimes.

From the book:
"Like so many women, my natural default is to want to be in charge by doing things myself. And over time, this “I’ll do it myself” mentality has turned into “Hi, I’m General Manager of the Universe, and you need to do this my way and in my time to keep me happy.” What follows from there isn’t pretty. Eventually I proudly wear the cloak of martyr, and everyone pays the price. I get bitchy and resentful, and I end up feeling painfully alone.

Me to a T

Oh dear, I haven't read the first chapter yet but seeing Maisie's quote makes me think I'll be going 'ouch' as I do

However - if you don't feel comfortable speaking to yourself in the mirror, I would recommend using kind words about yourself in your head instead. So don't say to yourself 'idiot' when something goes wrong, or lose it when you buy the wrong kind of ham this may be me

Cotswold, I do agree. I think it's very rare that we'd ever dream of speaking to other people the way we sometimes talk to ourselves.

Place marking ...book ordered. Have had a challenging 2016 and a lot of anxiety ishoos. This sounds like it could be very nourishing.

Just download. I'm sceptical but trying to keep an open mind!
Right, off to start reading .......

I've done the list of what you're deprived of. That was useful. Just tried the mirror thing and felt silly but I will persevere.

This sounds useful. In the process of leaving my husband - so self care is massively important just now, especially emotionally and spiritually. I'll read the first bit tonight, and post back.

This sounds really interesting, thanks for the pointer. I have done a lot of reading in the past about looking after yourself better etc but have got off track this year, had a bit of a bad year with bereavements but I know its important to get back to it now though. I think its always the case that you take things that work for you, and ignore others. In my new spirit of buy less this year I have just reserved it at my local library instead.

Haven't got the book yet but I have found Maslow's hierarchy of needs to be useful at times of stress where I've felt like I need to go back to basics in terms of self care.

I'm rubbish...?! I failed at the first bit...couldn't even remember what to say to the mirror...this is hard work. It rings very true...but life is hectic at the mo,DF taken into hospital with broken hip today and 2 teenagers who are " Kevin's" and juggling everyday life takes presidence over talking to a mirror...am l failing at the first chapter?!?

Enid - thank you, that looks useful. I think I'll look at each of the hierarchy levels, when I try to work out my personal deprivations .

Basically you start at the bottom so your 'foundations' are more solid for the other things to rest on and work your way up. Doesn't have to be perfect but it's a good guide for the order in which to do things/how important things are in relation to other stuff. If that makes sense. It's been a while.

As I haven't got the book yet, what's the basic premise of chapter 1 please?

Sounds interesting, I'm off to download the book and have a read. I'm in desperate need of a kick up the backside, my mh is slipping and I've had a shit year, and I've become VERY prone to martyrdom as a pp discussed upthread.

I've just downloaded the book and I'm reading. I'd already told dh that one of my ny resolution was to be more selfish, so this should be really helpful.

Some key ideas from the early part of the book ( from memory).

1. Make a list of what you are currently deprived of ( I did this on my phone )
2. Every time you pass a mirror, say ' I love you' or ' I like you' or ' I fully accept you as you are '
3. You are allowed to say no to people and can sometimes disappoint people.

Thanks frugal

I can definitely do 2 and 3. 1 sounds really hard!

I did the list of what I am deprived of and it includes surprisingly basic things. Don't laugh:

Protein
Fresh vegetables (

Good list. I'll have to have a good think. My main problem is I'm deprived of my health which impacts lots of other things but I can't do much about that so will have to break it down a bit.

I've downloaded. Will reflect and chip in.

I'm in! Will start reading later.

Still have to read this, forgot today in frantic worrying about the cat who was at the vets all day while we waited for the vet to call (cat is fine, just expensive).

Loving Frugal's list and a lot of it would apply to me.

I'm deprived of appreciation. But there's plenty I can do something about.

Really will read it tomorrow and check in with my own list.

ArtyFarty you're not failing!

I'm sorry to hear about your DF.

I think it's a bit like learning to ride a bike. There's a gap between deciding you want to do it and actually being able to. It doesn't mean you're rubbish and should give up, it means you need to practice and keep trying.

Just place marking to download later! Could do with this!

Hm, it's quite interesting. As I mentioned upthread, I was recommended this book by the pain clinic. I read the first chapter and found myself feeling hugely angry and thinking, 'well, the issue is that I've been deprived of my health and mobility and to some extent my looks by a stupid accident, so how does THAT help', but as I've reflected on it, I've realised that I've allowed that anger to deprive myself of a whole lot of other things. I have started to address some of that these the last few month by buying new clothes etc for the first time in years (not a money issue, was a self hate issue), but I've realised there are a whole lot more deprivations sitting under that umbrella. Hmm. Need to ponder this.