A Crepey Advent-ure

[MontserratCaballe]

Over here, my darlings....

Oh BTM, you must be longing for a bit of normality...

BTM, Beachy and Rudy, I have been pondering your ds's and of course yourselves. Hope you are kobo I'm difficult circumstances.
NU -she's a gorgeous little sugar plum. Love her!
Herbs- Thoase arrangement sound the most pragmatic and practical short of being in two dimensions at once. We ah e already had wine induced tears from MIL about Xmas day, and cross words to the effect of 'you've made your bed ...' etcetera from a usually benign dh. Ah Christmas , The season of love and charidee.

I am in Command Central bed and have done nothing since this morning except casually spend money all round me. Debit cards burnt to a crisp on Xmas gifts, a few bits of clothing, and an ikkle twip to Morocco (whoops) in my defence it's in place of a Christmas present swap for dh and me. But hey ho, we'll be eating cheese and crackers on Xmas day if I keep going at this rate.

BTM, we will pour down your throat.

Crem, I would much rather go on holiday than eat Christmas dinner DID I MENTION INDIA.

Gnnnnn. Despite 'please go away, everything is fine' email back to Helpful Friend, she has continued her barrage of emails, basically telling me that mum is not letting on how hard she's finding life, and with the implication that we're not being good enough daughters.

Quite what more we're supposed to do I don't know.

I just discussed this with a friend, who suggested I actually spell out 'of all the upsetting things about this situation, the way you speak to us (implying that we're terrible) is the most upsetting of all'.

Christ, I hate bloody Christmas. It's always the same churning guilt and turmoil for a month. The only solutions that keep other people happy end up with me having hideous time.

BTM - so sorry you've had a bad day with DS. The teacher did suggest boxes - but they'll still put them back in the wrong place, so I'll have to do it.

School Parents Evenings - for DD1, we used to come out on a high, the teachers loved her. DD2 less so and as for DS ... I think the Law of Diminishing Returns has kicked in - I think we've been spoilt and I no longer actually want to go to parents' evenings.

This evening DH coming home early to watch the French Primary Debate.

I feel so sorry for teachers at parents' evenings. By the end they all seem wild-eyed and haired and I can understand why. I don't know how they remember anything about anyone after 12 hours on the go. dd had an eccentric teacher (who taught her loads, lovely man) and he could never think of anything to say (he never says anything that isn't strictly accurate under all circumstances and interpretations) and nor could we - we all knew her so well. Was better when she was in sixth form and came with us and the two of them could talk to each other about the nature of truth . I remember one nightmare one when ds was in about year 8/9 and made appointments for me that stretched through the whole evening, with massive gaps, to maximise his X box time home alone. I limped alone through the Wagner of parents' evenings.

Herbs, I think you should block her - you don't need that shit. If she is so bothered, why doesn't she step in?

Lalsy, our DC have always had to come with us. It was rather embarrassing for DD's as they were so glowing, more uncomfortable for DS's which were a lot less so. Though last year was better. Not sure about the next one (coming up soon I think) as he has been off...

She's with her family at Christmas, appaz. I reckon it's projection: her family now live in Oz, so aren't there for her in her dotage. Thus she's angry with them, and taking it out on me and sis. I also fear there might be a grain of truth - I probably could do more, and probably try to pretend to myself things are better than they are.

Anyway. Bollocks to it.

Parents evenings have been so far uneventful. Very much a report on his levels, and that he's just a generally good boy. They haven't quite realised that he's the second coming as yet. Maybe next year.

I like what your friend suggested, Herbs - "...at this difficult time...most upsetting of all ARE YOUR EMAILS". And Hatty is right that you have your ds to think of, fgs. If you can block "helpful friend", I'd be tempted unless it would cause you more grief.

Herbs and at Wagner of parents evening.

The only time DD1 came to a parents evening she got into an argument with her Philosphy teacher (and I have to agree with her , she was right and he was a complete dick).

Friend's husband suggested I send HF this handy pic:

BTM - are you watching, or did you watch, 'last chance school' about a high- level type of PRU? My friend is in it!

Herbs, I remember you lot suggested a faux proforma response email along the lines of 'thank you for your email, I'm sure you'll appreciate how run off my feet I am'.

Thing is, this sitch is not crisis point - and even crisis point, as we know from my experience earlier this year, can go on for intolerable ages. You MUST NOT have a Hideous Time until such time that Hideousness cannot be avoided.

Herbs, MI speaks good sense.

My cousin Y (yes, I really do have cousins Y and Z!) messaged me tonight saying that she had heard that my Mum had had a "really bad time" of late, and wasn't coming to us for Christmas? Was there any reason for this? i haven't bothered replying yet, as my mother has clearly told Y's mother that she is not coming to us for Christmas, but not that she is having a lovely Christmassy time in a hotel. So clearly Y's mother and Y are thinking that my mother will be all on her own at Christmas with her turkey drumstick because I refused to have her.

I prefer Z.

Me too, Molly.

Does anyone have any wonderful ideas as to what I can put in the DDs' stockings? I have American shower gel schlepped back from New York, they will get a chocolate orange, chocolate coins, maybe a couple of books. DD2 is easy, I can just get her drawing stuff, but DD1 is more problematic. They will also get socks, pants and leggings. Possibly a T shirt. I don't want to spend loads on crap. They have a ton of make up that they don't use. A CD?

Z def sounds more fun.

So far we've not had any interference over the dp's, but you have to bear in mind they are Chief Interfering Officers themselves.
DM : I've lost my brown leather gloves, perhaps you could get me a pair to replace them for Xmas?
Me : great mum, will do. < spends A long time on Dents/Jaeger Outlet etc and makes purchase of a very pricy nice thank you pair of brown gloves>
DM: hello dear, how's your cold? I found my gloves, by the way.

Give them to her Crem and tell her "now you'll have a spare pair!'

Giftcard for cinema / Nandos / Starbucks etc Mrs FP? Stationery stuff? Socks? Lip balm? Hair ties?

Anything here Mrs F
Or ere
???

Teen girls are v difficult imo. That emergency Prosecco would be v suitable for mine, Crem, but only if it was echt Prosecco that you could actually get a bit drunk on. I did impress both mine - and the gf - last year with novelty alcohol.

Hebs - send it!
Is that Last Chance School a new thing? Is it on Catch-up?

MrsS, a CD? - they download all their music, in DD's case for free somehow. I agree, they don't need more crap. Might get DD more leggings now! Nicer toiletries than you would have to buy anyway ? I am on a thread somewhere with lots of suggestions and will look through your links Cremo. I love the idea of one of those mini bottles of Prosecco though! I am going to trawl Aldi/Lidl - they usually have something that could go in.

And if you think stockings for girls are hard, what about teen boys?!

And MrsS, who needs rellies like yours? Why don't you message them back what she actually said to you?

Talking of rellies, I got an invite to my cousins wedding (very romantic story - second marriage to first ever boyfriend) next spring and I am very excited. Doesn't take much in my world ATM!

Oh god, ALL I have bought for Christmas is some pants and in DD2's case crop tops, cheap shower gel and face packs. Am badgering DP on this too. Oh, and v nice handmade socks requested by DSis.

DON'T PANIC! - it's not even December yet!

I have not even thought about Christmas - and am not going to do so until 1st Dec. I don't do a stocking for ds because the bloody advent calendar is such a trauma that a stocking would tip me over the edge (and this year that would not take very much at all....)
I will do immediate family and ds - dp and I have a bifold door each... and that's it.

BTM so sorry for the hard day - first D'n'S on me....