A Crepey Advent-ure

[MontserratCaballe]

Over here, my darlings....

Even if that were true, MI, it's not anyone else on the planet they want, fortunately 😁

I have never felt like Parent of the year MI, not once , fwiw. You do what you have to do is all.

I am off to get the car fixed, finally. The two parts needed have finally arrived. This after 2 hours sleep, according to fancy pants app, which I downloaded to help me work out if I am actually not sleeping or whether I am imagining it. It's all kinds of wrong. I am just not able to function on 2 ( two, deux, II) hours sleep , damnit.
Hoping that lurgy abated enough to see Dad later. He thinks I don't like him any more as he keeps forgetting I have had the flu.

Herbs, am doing norty post from work in a hurry to say: PRIVATE SCHOOL. They would love you, bassoon, journalism experience and EAL pgce. And you could get a cut-price deal for ds.

Oh Stropps - good idea!!!

If we are going for worst parenting award pretty sure I'd win hands down.....

Another too tip. Thanks Stropps! Could also be good candidates for my grammar workshop.

A deadline is a good wheeze too. BTM. One of the problems is that I'll get a tutee lined up, it s workshop, or whatever, so think a) everything's going to be ok and I can stick t to the man, and b) I can't fit anything else in. But then they cancel or postpone and I realise neither a nor b is true and I may have to succumb to 'the man' after all.

Herbs, can you not change your billing strategy so that they pay regardless (or at least half fees or whatever)? My sister is a tutor for GSCE maths and charges for lessons which are cancelled. It is also common in the music lesson world, as I am sure you know, to pay for a term's lessons upfront and any missed by the student are non refundable at the tutor's discretion. This would at least give you a bit more certainty and might stop people messing you around.

Herbs, I agree that is a massive issue. Flakiness, indecision, incompetence and then they expect you to be flexible. The times freelance worked best for me when dc were younger (and I have different cirx) was when I have had a couple of regular things that I could just get on with (had an annualised hours deal for years). And then I could look for/accept other stuff as and when, but not critical either way, and I knew each month I would be doing X and Y, as a baseline. I found it draining emotionally, otherwise, never mind financially (as new things take time to set up). I am full of admiration for your long list.

Re worst parenting - dd asked me if you used a towel at university, the year before she went. Enough upbeating! I have learned shedloads about good parenting from you all - I wish I had known you lot when the dc were little.

Also have a sneaky suspicion that our views of our parenting abilities are as much about how we see our own parents and that relationship as anything else. I am aware of some...deficits...and probably worry more about those areas in turn...?

I am berating non-paying clients tearfully.

Private schools have teenagers too, though!

Crepeys...until you have seen mothers putting Big Macs in the blender and feeding them to four month olds (yes, really...I could name the place and time.... and have the health visitors as witnesses, and children needing a daily bath at school not to mention arriving barefoot in December...) none of you comes close to poor parenting. No more up beating as decreed by lalsy. It's a two way thing once the buggers have a mind of their own anyway...and if they don't play ball and fail to show us as a shining example of how to be parent of the year...we may have to accept responsibility for sorting out the resulting shite, but we are not to shoulder the blame alone, or at all for that matter. Take heart, lovelies.

I have been trying to work on the play...and am getting all muddled and befuddled with the changes. But have had a lovely hour singing Mozart operas to soothe the soul. DD is doing a show. I am going to leave the play plastered all over the dining room and get my gels done

In trouser news...I am straying into Jigsaw territory and thinking that since the late, departed Kew was their sister company, the clothes might be cut the same. They have some dark cords....But on my gosh the prices....

I have a lovely grey Jigsaw pinafore dress I bought from BHF a few weeks ago - with labels attached and a receipt helpfully stapled to the label. £140!! And it cost me £8.

Herbs, I'd be wary of approaching private schools with your grammar course, as remember they don't do SATs and the curriculum is v different. None of the kids will have to do a lot of the stuff in your course, so it won't be relevant. Also, in my experience private school parents wouldn't be thrilled by the idea that they themselves needed any kind of course.

MI, prep schools only go up to age 13. And to be more, err, flexible about teaching qualifications.

Soz about slightly garbled post.

Aha, Stropps.

Back to the grind.

Me too (klezmer fusion).

Auriga, my beloved descant recorder is playing flat (so is the tenor come to think of it). Do I need to tackle the threading or take it somewhere for an mot? Is germsn style two part wood if that makes any difference. ?

Just back from banning the last two advent calendars in the Waterloo region that weren't troll filmmerchandiding on m&s. Always leave to last day so really shouldn't be surprised. Dh thinks they are too old for such fripperies but I think the fripperies as opposed to the tat gets more not less important

Freezing round here tho lovely and sunny.

I haven't got an advent calendar yet. However, I am in Wood Green, epicentre of tat, so will nip out and get one now!

Lalsy - having one regular job around which I can slot everything else is my aim. It should be my FE teaching, but it's not enough money. As discussed. Re flaky tutee, it was just going to be an assessment, so not the end of the world, but yes - need to be firm re payment. Need to value myself more, in every regard.

Looking forward to Auriga's recorders when home...

Addle, am no expert but those who are get their recorders 'serviced' from time to time, by a specialist or the manufacturer.

Herbs, so sorry to read about your financial trials and tribulations: I agree with much of the advice given to you. I am also a bit concerned that you feel you can't approach DP - a partnership should be just that, and I am sure you have been supporting him emotionally with his problems. DS is not just your responsibility, but I don't need to tell you that. I also love that you want to spend time with DS whilst he is young (I did too and never regretted it). I do hope that some of the irons in your fire work out. (Sorry if I have been a little too blunt).

I hope everyone is feeling a bit better and that BTM, BD and Rudy's DS are all coping well today.

I have spent the morning in the Education Centre at a local hospital learning all about knee replacements; much better info than last time. Tomorrow is my three hour pre op appointment. DH and I are actually talking quite amicably today; yesterday was a little tense as he had put a cashmere sweater (his) in the ordinary wash, it shrank of course, and then he had the cheek to say that it was my job to sort through his washing and remove such items.

I hope you suggested an alternative use for said shrunken jumper, NU

Uses for shrunken or felted cashmere:
Cushion cover ( so I am told)
Tea cosy ( we have an old one of dads, backed with a bit of catch Kidston fabric)
Seat cover ( our bedroom chair seat is thus upholstered)

Today I have cooked a lot including massive batch of lemony Madeleines ( discovered dh has 4 (!) madeleine trays, Crepeys) for the Xmas craft fair ( Chazza stall) get me all festive and shit.
Have swapped my lovely red but bashed up car for utilitarian grey Micra which I lost immediately in the Tesco car park, and had to go about beeping the key for 15 minutes.
Am now doing a veggie curry for dh. Still can't get eating back on track after cold. Just wanting cereal, crackers, boiled rice, fruit. Probably a good thing. Will watch dh eat his curry in front of the fire and final part of The Missing.

SECOND FEATURE OF THE WEEK DONE.

Crem - glad you found your car. Sorry you are still not on form. I'm really looking forward to the end of The Missing tonight.

NU - I have just bought a cashmere jumper - I usually buy big to allow for shrinkage but the shop girl persuaded me to buy the right size, which I have to confess looks good but now I don't dare wash the wretched thing. I reckon one of the DD's is going to profit from this, and at DH for expecting you to sort his things.

Herbs - agree with NU - it's a partnership - "for richer, for poorer" and all that. If you can try to spend as much time with your DS as you can as that is what you'll remember when all this is finished - looking back now, the time seems to have passed really quickly. It would be brilliant if you could find something that fits around him; until then DH must help with taking up the slack. Disclaimer - I do think Mrs S's woman who went "on a lovely long walk" was taking the piss - if you are lucky enough to have a flexible employer it should work both ways.

Auriga - brilliant recorder music and ignore horrid woman.

Rose at McDo in a blender - I find it hard to actually believe people can be so stupid.

Have had quite a full on day, and it has hit -5. Am trying to avoid getting sucked into office politics although this is sometimes not so easy (especially if feeling hormonal).

But it does also vary. I didn't want to be at home with mine when they were small - not least because my mum did do that and was frustrated and unhappy. So yes, a lot of my children's early memories are of their lovely childminder. I worked four days a week and it was fab. But like I say, I'm not great at this parenting lark.

Likewise MI - I ran back to work at 4 months (was also the breadwinner so was required) and left dp as 'primary carer' as he was p-t at the time. Ds had the most fabulous childcare with people who did the most wonderful crafty things with him which I am rubbish at ....