Someone left a Crepe out in the rain

[BeachysSandyFlipFlops]

Here we go, ready for the Autumn.....

Teenage party not going so well

Now I think of it...when I moved in to my flat (newly separated, with 2 year old DS1 in tow) My DM asked my why I needed a double bed....

Crepeys on fb, the booking page for The Reading is now live and quite lively! WAF have sent you a link. If any one else not on fb wants the link please PM me.

DH has been dispatched from DS2's hall, as he is an embarrassing parent... (he was told by DS not to enter the communal kitchen )He's on the way home. DS is apparently fine, but says his duvet is too big (how can a duvet ever be too big?) and is wondering where to put his keyboard and stand (instead of unpacking the important stuff... ......

Auriga, I am so sorry about the whole sibling thing too.

Not to belittle that, but I know DD1 would have loved a whole bunch more siblings and I should have done more to provide them - I would have liked more too, if I'd had a bit more time to play with (I am very bad indeed at the early stages so found the idea of just getting on with it a bit horrifying). Mind you DD2 would have hated it. To quite Shakespearian degrees.

Rose - mine all have double duvets and DD1 now wants king size to go with hanky panky mattress.

MI - I think you can never win with numbers and spacing of children. My friend is reproached by her youngest child for leaving a 6 year gap between him and his brother so that he was "alone with his boring parents too long".

Auriga, DD1 would have absolutely adored to be an only child (I am, unsurprisingly an only one). DD2 would have liked younger siblings and possibly an older brother. Multiple births run in my family (one cousin has triplets, another has twins, and our grandfather was a twin) and there was no way I'd have risked a third.

Had a slightly surreal evening last night. While clipping knots out of the cat's fur (as you do, on a Saturday night), a friend contacted me for "urgent" advice for placement for a VVIP dinner that someone important the PM is hosting.

Ds would have loved siblings but I'm a rubbishy mother and really couldn't face doing the whole thing again so he's stuck with a dog instead. I do feel guilty that he'll have to deal with this aged p bit single handed.....

I am not yet over my inability to have a baby after DS. He is a very self-sufficient child, and doesn't seem to get lonely, but would have been a lovely big brother. I try not to centre my emotional life around him, but as he's the best boy in the world it's hard not to. I know I will be utterly bereft when he goes off into the world, however much I have built into my life by that point.

Belated Happy birthday to Monty.

to those of you who had difficulty conceiving. I can't imagine how you all feel as it was so easy for me. DSis took quite a while for her first, but not her second. My cousin's wife had several miscarriages, but apart from that I really didn't know anybody who had any trouble. I am not saying it didn't happen back when, but it seems more common now.

We had a lovely last couple of days in Tahoe as our friends from Whitley Bay were there, too. We went out for a meal together on our last night: it was Restaurant Week so we booked a table at a good restaurant where we were almost ignored when they discovered we wanted the special menu. Food was lovely, but the staff's attitude left much to be desired.

Death Valley today.

For Hatty. My friend gave me a tiny perennial geranium last year, I sent her a photo of the monster it had become this year.

I think the aged p thing is not so bad if your parents are normal and you have a err, normal relationship with them. But if your parent is irrational, demanding and narcissistic, it won't be a breeze. Some helpful tips from me:

Do not refer to your daughter as "shit as a daughter" in a screaming fit on the phone on Christmas Eve.

Do not say to your daughter, when her father dies "I don't know why you're so upset. He was only your father, he was my husband."

Do not demand that your daughter, who has a six month old baby and a full time job, drop everything and come over that weekend because you don't understand the boiler and have jammed the key in the front door. Particularly if said daughter lives over three hours flying time away.

Don't use the phone as a weapon. It is a two way method of communication.

Don't say to your daughter, when she is diagnosed with a potentially serious illness, "I don't know how I'm going to cope with this."

And don't express surprise to neighbours that your daughter doesn't seem to want to see you very often, and you can't understand why...

NU - my story was five miscarriages in a row, two of them relatively late, then 18 months to get pregnant again. I was by then 42, and had DS at 43. After that, nada. He was something of a miracle, but another miracle would have been good. Anyone who asks 'why don't he have a s long' gets short shrift. Or the truth, if I'm feeling brave.

s long = sibling. iPad and no glasses = nonsense.

Have been afflicted in the past few hours with horrible cold. Excellent.

Herbs I don't think it's anyone's business why you (and I) only have one. My aunt gave my mum and dad serious grief about it. Had she said anything directly to me she would have got a flea in her ear. It's no ones business and I feel no obligation to explain - 'why do you want to know?' Seems a reasonable response.

I have not left the house all weekend. In my defence (a) I have been soooo tired (b) I am now nearly 70k words into the redraft.

Herbs - that's been really tough. It makes your DS even more fantastic. Agree BD - I can't believe people who ask those sort of questions - likewise when you are pregnant "was it planned?" Absolutely nobody's business.

MI - well done on the redraft.

I'm feeling remarkably sleepy as well - maybe it's catching up after last weekend .

I agree, BD - no-one's business except your own. I spent an evening with friends who were going through IVF - I knew this but the other people there didn't, and there were so many comments about "isn't it time you two had a baby?" and "you don't want to leave it too late." They brushed the comments off, but it was really painful for them (they now have twins, thankfully). Why do people not THINK before they speak? Or really, just mind their own business?

We are in chaos now, with piles of books and shit everywhere. DH is going to put it all into storage next weekend. As 95% of the stuff is his, I don't really care if I never see it again.

I am bloody buggering knackered. Two late nights in a row, loads of booze, irregular eating, five hours in the wind with small children yesterday, worrying about my lesson all weekend, and now I've got this ridiculous cold that causes my mind to go blank and my nose to randomly stream, and I've got to go and play my bassoon in the church orchestra. I could not go, but there'll be a chair with my name and music on it, and I know I'll enjoy it once I get there.

DP in New York all next week which both irritating (I love it, and used to go a couple of times a year before DS was born), and worrying (lots of bombs this weekend).

And yes. There is never a good answer to the question 'why haven't you had a(nother) baby yet'. It's either:

a) I don't want one
b) my partner doesn't want one
c) I can't have one/another
d) my partner can't have another
e) he wants one and I don't (and vice versa)

All of which lead to awkward conversations.

It is never

f) Oh what a good idea! I'm so glad you reminded me.

How about (g) Fuck off and mind your own business.

Or you could say, with the quiver of your bottom lip and wet eyes "That's a terribly personal question."

I am liking f) and MrsS's suggestions.

I am an only and DM once said something along the lines of she had had me because my father had wanted to prove that he was fertile

Spoke to her today - very confused and again wishing she could die. Passed the phone to DH who did his best to change the convo/jolly her along, but to no avail. DS was lovely and took my arm whilst we walked around the woods and told me that he loves me

BTM -

I have just been headhunted for my mad bassooning skillz by a local orchestra.

Oh BTM.

BTM - why do people say things which they know would destabilise a child? Your DS sounds lovely.

I just want to pop in and pass round for all of you going through tough times - we don't have the angst of child tribulations (just never happened for us - there have been some sad moments but I decided many years ago that you can't live your life wishing about what might have been).

But what is with mothers of a certain age - I got divorced in my mid-20s and my Mum told me then that I was 'soiled goods' and no-one would want me. As it happens I have now been married for 14yrs to a wonderful man and we are very happy.

We gloss over that fact that she has met another lovely man, following the death of father a number of years ago, and is now having sex 'outside marriage' - I am delighted for her but can't help noticing the double standard!!

I work for a living but I think my Mum still seems to think I should behave as if I were in a 50s marriage and she worries terribly if DH and I have a healthy disagreement about something - can't get my head round it!

We're in the middle of some building work that will give my Mum her own annex but we've now been living in quite close proximity for nearly 2yrs - I think it shows

MI - I work from home and I am amazingly impressed with your work ethic at the weekends and at home - what's your secret?

I struggle quite a lot.

Usual jaw dropping moments at MrsS' dm. How come you turned out so well?

And BTM, awww about ds and for your dm.

Auriga, your post was so wise, thank you. And for all those who might have liked more children. I am sorry.

Rose, I agree, that is a worry for me too. I made what, both at the time and with hindsight, were I think sensible decisions for the family - not necessarily spot on/ideal, but reasonable - about jobs and so on but worry about what happens now. dh has always worked long hours and it feels to me like we don't see much of each other apart from when on holiday, which is another complication.

Novel-writers - look up JoJo Moyes on FB - cottage offer (not sure whether public or whatnot). ANd Justme, I am always very impressed by MI's weekend efforts!

Not caught up properly, but good luck to all uni starters and Stropps, everything still crossed.

Justme: I do the day job during the week, when I am a freelance journalist (with not enough work at the moment). I also try to do an hour a day (usually 8.30 to 9.30 in the morning) and a bit of time at the weekends on the novel project I've been doing since about Feb last year - it grew out of a non-fiction project I spent several years on and is now on its fourth draft which is pretty good going given that I spent quite a lot of this year with my mother dying.

It will probably come to nothing but I'm giving it a fair old whack!