Someone left a Crepe out in the rain

[BeachysSandyFlipFlops]

Here we go, ready for the Autumn.....

Teenage party not going so well

Congrats, BD

Best wishes to all those taking offspring to university this w/e.

No more demands today from dd about being collected. She alleges she has seen a Dr this morning and got a new prescription and has another appointment tomorrow Re contraception. So these university docs work all weekend, do they? At least she seemed calm when she was in contact today.

It could all go horribly wrong again by tomorrow, so I have enjoyed some wine and looked at Motherland this evening. I just couldn't relate to the programme really, and it just left me rather bemused. Further evidence that I am clearly No Fun At All.

BTM - our garden is very long, but I only bother to cultivate the area I can see from the house. The rest is a wilderness, which I walk through to reach the shed. There's a pond somewhere. Now that the trampoline has gone, the wilderness is a bit more visible, unfortunately.

That's lovely doggy news, BD! What variety?

That's good news re dd, Stropps. Enjoy the calm while it lasts.

Thanks for all your very kind words about my imminent empty nest, and offers to meet up. Yy to BP, BTM. MrsWobble, I've spent all the time since Results Day rejoicing over the impending advantages of having an empty nest...I was kind of doing that deliberately, to avoid facing up to the sheer horror of saying goodbye to dd, but then the misery hit me with double force in the last few days. So much for denial - like crime, it does not pay. I'm clearly going to be all of a kerfuffle until she goes on Saturday. And then a bit more.

Due to my country upbringing, I'm quite knowledgeable about gardening, so anyone who'd like to me saunter round their plot identifying plants/weeds, just say the word.

Good to have a new dog joining the Crepeys.

Molly, I remember a friend contrasting the amount of mental & practical preparation we do when a child joins the family with what we do when they leave. Endless discussion, advice, classes, books, articles and websites for new parents versus what? for the soon-to-be bereft. Lots of noise about UCAS and money. Which, I know, are important. But they distract from the emotional task.

People leaving is a Great Big Deal. Ambivalence (on both sides) is part of it, along with fluctuating denial. I wasn't kidding about my melt-down in the car park at the Bristol open day (but I had it internally so DH and DD didn't notice).

So the teenager rants about how s/he can't wait to get away from home, whilst at the same time (and no wonder) being terrified of leaving. Then leaves and wants to come straight back.

I always thought that teenage horribleness was partly a device to help them to leave home but I now think some parents (I don't mean anyone on here) need the teenager to be horrible, to cover up their own feelings of loss. God knows it will help me out if DD is as vile as my middle nephew was. (Feel free to point and laugh if that assertion is put to the test)

For me it's also unmasking grief about DD being an only child. She'd have made someone a bloody good sister & my nest wouldn't be emptying so soon. Dammit, it was only the day before yesterday I brought her home.

Sorry, not much help. Have had a couple of low days. But Our Ladies of Perpetual Succour is absolutely amazing and brilliant.

It really helps, actually, Auriga. Thank you.

Very interesting Auriga - although now wondering about DD2 who seems excited rather than nervous. She's my dippy dappy one. DD1 did at least confess to being terrified as well as excited.

Good luck Molly - I at least still have DS (the incredible sleeping boy) to keep me company.

Great news on doggie BD.

I think that's spot on, Auriga. I left home, aged 19, to share a house in London, largely because, with the amount my mother was charging me to live at home, and the commuting costs, it worked out a lot cheaper. She wanted me to stay at home "to pay back some of the money that's been spent on you over the years." And told me that if I left, I could never come back, apart from for the odd weekend.

MrsS I have a friend whose dmum has similar views.... He's never gone home and he was/is number three son to my parents......

My dmums view was you will pay for your own children....

Flash is a lab cross - no idea what the 'cross' is :)

We want photos of Flash, BD.

My mother used to charge me to go home for Christmas as well. Her sister found out, never let her forget it, and hosted the big family Christmas the following year, letting me know, loudly in front of the whole family, that she wouldn't dream of charging me.

DD1 seems to have finally Got A Grip with her school work, and has bonded well with her organisational tutor, so hopefully we are back on track.

Just typed and lost a message - dodgy wifi connection I think. But basically I'm not sure I agree with Auriga's friend as I don't think of it as them leaving home. Our communication is a lot more electronic but still frequent and in some ways much more immediate. So I don't feel any less close to them.

MrsS - good news on the tutoring. We got a tutor for dd1 this summer - i think she had got herself into a panic and needed help to get back on track - feeling out of control is incredibly stressful.

Your mother is... words fail me.

Our ladies is fab.

Morning Crepes.
I am decidedly overexcited about Flash BD. I am so very pleased for you.

Auriga, that all makes sense to me. And Molly, you probably won't remember that I wept all the way home from dropping dd off at Uni. Strange times.

Monty , hope you had a great night last night. Belated Happy birthday to you.

All quiet with Dad. He is trying to walk a little more each day, but, touch wood, is still off the oxy.

Mostly cat sitting, dad sitting and carrying out a much talked about visit to Lakeland. Don't ask....

I suspect the feelings of loss come from a combination of missing a child (although I agree these days, and having had DS1 in Sydney for 9 months...electronic communication is wonderful and very connecting ) and realising that I have burnt many personal bridges in order to be a mother...and wondering what might be left for me. I have come very recently to the realisation that empty nest isn't so much about not wanting one's children to go...I'm really alright with it I quite like it but fearing being invisible and a waste of space once they have gone. Of not being able to get back the things one spends so much time planning for, when the children are off one's hands

Lord I am getting morbid. Snap out of it, Rose. I waved DS2 off with DH at the wheel at about 8.30 this morning. I caught him, last minute downloading family photos from fb and stuffing them into frames...ah bless.

MrsS I left home, not because DParents wanted to charge me, but to get away from their Victorian values and the house rules.

Ah yes, Rose, the Victorian Values...! When I moved in with my then boyfriend at the age of 25 and told my mother, she screamed at me that I was "spoiled goods now" and that "no decent man would want me" and even if I did marry my boyfriend he "could always throw it back in my face that I had been loose with my morals." Clearly my wild and mis-spent youth had passed her by... When I bought a double bed for my flat, she said "you've only bought that so that you can have sex in it." My grandmother calmly pointed out to her that one didn't need a double bed to have sex.

In S & B news, I was in M & S yesterday and thought their clothes looked much better - a good selection of jumpers (particularly the cashmere ones) in a wide range of autumnal colours, lots of jeans, including velvet ones. Autograph seems to have expanded, whereas Pruner has shrunk.

M&S making large number of redundancies. Some 500 people at head office.....

I shall post pics when I can down load them....

MrsS re double bed... Dps dad was similarly unimpressed when we moved into together and asked for a double bed........

Cremo good to hear about dad.
Beachy and Rudy how are the ds's? Rudy lovely pic of ds off to college - it just seems amazing that a couple of weeks ago you were stuck in a hospital surviving on Costa coffee and cake.....

MrsS, I am horrified that your DM charmed u for Christmas WTF?

Early start this morning to bring DS to his match, but DH and I found a gardens with a cafe next door so spent a very relaxing hour in there. Match now about to start.

Ggggnnnnn. Two nights out on the trot is not good for a crepey. Even if she sleeps until 9.45 as her son is at a sleepover. Didn't go to bed until 1.30, so bushed. And it was free booze. Oh dear.

Today - friends coming for lunch, then have to do some work, then bassoon-playing.

Have a PGCE chum on facebook messenger panicking/moaning about the amount of admin expected before a course even starts, and the fact that we were never taught how to do it. That's the problem with the post-compulsory PGCE - there's no induction year, like you get in schools. Just dropped in the deep end, with even fewer resources and even lower salary than school teachers.

Once again my jaw is on the floor re Mrs S's mother. Extraordinary.

Monty! Happy birthday for yesterday! Hope this is a better of a year for you.

BTM -great typo, the idea of Mrs S's mum charming her...

WAF My fat fingers!

I left home at 19 and had very little to do with my parents for the next two decades, really. Moved house at least once without thinking of telling them my new address - it genuinely didn't strike me.

I sort of expect my kids to do the same.

In S&B news I have bought some of that very cheap superdrug hydrating serum Sali Hughes raves about and it is an excellent little moisturiser. Much nicer than the Vichy aqualia one she also rates, which went bobbly on my skin.

Rose so true about not getting back to where we were before.

I just suffered from strict Catholic upbringing. Consequently, my children have no religion. My parents still have twin beds in the guest room!

Interesting how we would be "spoilt goods" but the men could do whatever they liked. Disgraceful when you think about it.

Mrs S - Your mother sounds a real piece of work.

Doh! BELTER of a year!

And mini potatoes btw