"Summery and elegant" for a wedding.

[AYD2MITalkTalk]

Help!

My brother is getting married in a month, the dress code is as stated, and I have no idea where to start.

I have broad shoulders, large boobs that require a full cup bra, a fat belly thick waist, and no hips or arse. I'm flabbier than I'd like. I'm maybe a 16 to 18 on top, 12-14 bottom.

My current "style" is unfashionable jeans, a t-shirt, and a hoodie with trainers, every day and in every situation.

I don't wear makeup, ever, have no idea how to wear it or put it on, and don't really want to change that. Short hair. Can't show my arms, don't want to show my legs. Don't like skirts or dresses and would spend the whole time self-conscious if I wore these.

And it has to be something I can take with me on a plane.

I have no ideas. Do I need a hat? Do I need to learn to walk in high heels, in a month? Trousers and jacket, or something else? :(

I'm flailing here and would be really grateful for help/opinions/tellings-off.

Good start!

Of course, budget permitting, you "should be trying more than one."

You might find it helpful to make a regular habit of trying things on in shops - even when you're not planning to buy. That way, when you are looking seriously online (because you want the widest possible choice) you'll have a better idea of shapes and textures and designers that suit you.

Yes you did sound down on yourself. Tugged on a million heartstrings.

In relation to Phase 8 I'm a 16/18 (lost weight) and the 18 fitted me lovely. It swirls and is slightly netted underneath. Very girlie!

I reckon a middy skirt (covers a large amount of your legs and will even out the hip to shoulder ratio) with a plain loose top tucked in to it with a pretty pastel blazer or light jacket over the top (to cover your arms like you'd prefer and pastel colour to keep with the 'elegant and summery' theme).

I'd personally go for:
m.newlook.com/shop/womens/skirts/white-stripe-balloon-midi-skirt-_370728119 -(skirt)
m2.hm.com/m/en_gb/productpage.0323855001.genericdevice.html -(top)
m.newlook.com/shop/womens/jackets-and-coats/shell-pink-curved-hem-blazer-_362490972?productFind=search -(blazer)

For shoes I'd go for any plain dolly shoes (comfortable and pretty without the struggle of walking in heels for the day).

Honestly, you have nothing to worry about with your figure, I can't see anything wrong with it but I know exactly what it's like to be so self conscious, which is why I try very hard with the way I dress, it helps with the confidence boost.

If it's internet shopping, I'd have to get a refund for one before I could try another

I didn't mean to be like that, sorry I just kind of think it's frustrating to be asked for opinions without sufficient info IYSWIM.

I'll look in phase eight next time I'm near.

I wish I could wear a hoodie and jeans but SIL would never forgive me…

Oh god, choices. Thanks for that idea Cloudy - I'll look into those especially since dresses don't tend to fit me as well as they could.

Okay, so I tried the black dress Gruach suggested. Very pretty dress, but an… "interesting" fit. Okay around the bustillage at nipple level. Fine around the waist and hips. But… about four inches too small round the underboob ribcage area (I didn't even try the zip; it would have ripped the dress to shreds).

I must be a weird shape. Just call me Lady Ribcage.

Hmm. More thinking required on my part. Was hoping not to have to try on any more dresses :(

My shoulders are too broad and my arms are too thick, too :( But I could have lived with that.

Was wondering how you were getting on! You're not a weird shape - side zip dresses can be tricky.

However - all of MN expects you to try at least another 20 frocks. (Stern face.)

You will find something perfect eventually.

make up and fugly stagger shoes are not required of the male guests and are not required of you. Not ballet flats either, look stupid and make women waddle. Something clean and tidy with a small heel - and good luck finding that because they have apparently been outlawed...

smart trousers, a cool (as in temperature) top with a decent bra underneath in that horrible beige colour which means it doesn't show up and stray straps are less conspicuous. A light smart jacket to cope with OTT aircon or temperature change.

that's you smart and also comfortable. Enjoy! (which you won't if your clothes are annoying you)

Oh God not more dresses I might go for that personal shopper thing that a poster suggested. They can do the brain work while I just do mannequinning.

In terms of trousers - what would count as smart? I guess some kind of nice material in a not-too-tight cut?

Something I forgot to mention - my legs are usually a bit of a mess of bruises as I'm always walking into things, my skin goes odd, all red and bumpy, if I shave them (I've done it once twice), and I have a couple of small scars. What do I there, if I'm wearing a dress? Is there some sort of leg concealer?

this from Asos is quite a safe choice if you are feeling very un brave. Could be made more fun with big jewellery, if you have any.

I really like this and it would give you a waist and cut up your boobs iyswim

this is very pretty, definitely summery and elegant, and flat shoes would be fine as it's a maxi

Leg concealer = nude tights

Tanning moisturiser might work well too.

Ah, tights! That makes sense.

Those dresses all look a little… fatlady. I am fat, but something about them screams Evans, IYSWIM? I know I'm being a bit picky

fab from Phase Eight

That last one linked to one of the Asos dresses. I'm keeping a list of everyone's suggestions so far!

Yes I do know what you mean. The first one definitely is a bit fatlady tent but I posted it as you sounded so worried about exposing any inch of yourself . I don't think the second and third ones are though - might you be being influenced by the plus sized model (who is larger than you).

What about the Phase Eight red one - lovely dress.

Bugger phase eight red one here

It could be the model that's doing it, possibly. She's an 18, though, like I usually am, and a lot taller!

The red one is really nice, though I worry that red is not allowed and that cotton might crease in a suitcase. I suppose there are irons. I do really need to keep my lower arms covered, though.

Here are a couple of sites that might be worth a look... summery dresses (and some with sleeves), that go up to size 18. A bit different from high street options:

www.nancymac.co.uk
www.bryonyandco.com

You could even pair them with some opaque coloured tights if you want to cover up.

Can I just jump in here and suggest that you start by getting a good fitting bra before trying anymore dresses. You'll have more definition between your bust and your waist so will look slimmer and dresses will probably fit/look better when everything is where it should be.

The red Phase Eight dress is lovely.

Thank you Thumb - I've put on some weight since I last bought bras so will have to get a new one. GG so no pretty filmy strapless backless things!

Thanks for the shop recommendations cissy, will look after dinner!