how to wear scarves so I don't look middle aged and frumpy?

[MyVisionsComeFromSoup]

even though I am probably . Pain consultant has told me off for wearing "inappropriate clothes" AKA T-shirts which don't cover my neck, and that I need to wear scarves (to stop the muscles getting cold, contracting and making my nerve pain worse).

But, I'm overweight, big-boobed and mid forties, so very much in danger of getting it wrong. The DDs fling scarves on and look fabulous, I do the same and they make me take it off for fear of embarrassing them

So, any tips? Tutorials? Do's and Don'ts?

I think it has a lot to do with the print and style-I've got a lovely long geometric print scarf that I instantly feel trendy in. I've also got square scarves in florals that make me feel like my mother (no offence mum!)

What about snood/infinity scarves? They're a loop so you don't have to worry about tying them and I think they look a bit less middle aged (even though I am middle aged). There a a few around but if I find a long scarf I like I often just sew the ends together to make one. They will do a good job of keeping your neck warm too.

I really liked this tutorial
www.schoolgatestyle.com/2016/01/scarf-tying-tutorial-only-way-tie-your.html?m=1

Lolling at a blog called 'school gate style'

no longer have to do the school gate pick up thank goodness! Will have a play with her scarf tying method.

But, all the stylish people I see with scarves have the bulk of the scarf at the front, which makes me look twice as big as I am up front. I think I need a bit more of a shawl effect (so covering more of my neck and shoulders, rather than my throat and chest). And that will just be a nuisance trying to keep it on, and not flapping behind in the wind.

Also as I no longer can manage a shoulder bag, I use cross body bags, which affect how a scarf sits. Maybe I should just move back up north then I only need jumpers

oh bloody hell, I've tried the tying opposite corners together and doubling it over, if I twist it round it covers my neck exactly where I need it, but it looks like my old Guide neckerchief . Do I just need to play with where the knot is and the longer corners sit?

sewing the ends together rather than tying a knot would avoid the Girl Guide look, good call.

I hear you. I have never been the type of person to look "effortlessly chic" which is what I think you need to wear scarves stylishly. I'm ok with a big woolly winter one but anything else makes me look like I've been playing "let's make Egyptian mummies out of household articles"

I don't know what "styles" you like but I like an old fashioned/vintage look so have had (reasonable) success with silky polka dot scarves tied in a bow at the side of my neck. If that makes sense.

Failing that, I let my teenage DDs loose on me and they arrange them nicely.

And a vest. Don't underestimate the warming power of a vest. Really, you can tell just how unstylish I am from that, can't you. We had a recent episode involving wigs where I cried to DH that I was "literally a pig in a wig" and he did extremely well not to snigger whilst comforting me.

A bit like this

I find people who wear scarves well also wear quite a few accessories; rings, earrings etc. I wonder if that is the key? I am rubbish at wearing scarves.

There's a Japanese (?) scarf woman whose name I can't remember, but she was the You Tube queen of scarfing a couple of years ago.

I've found her on You Tube - she is called Wendy - if you type '25 Ways to Wear a Scarf in 4.5 Minutes!' you'll find her.

There's also MaiTai's Picture Book but that's strictly Hermès darling.

www.maitaispicturebook.com/

I struggle with scarves. So chic! So pulling-it-together! Alas, on me nothing but a straggly piece of fabric I can catch on doorhandles. :(

Never ever wear a scarf in this way, pulled through. Very aging and grim.

I disagree:

Another good 'un from Wendy on You Tube:

25 Ways to Wear a Scarf - Companion Episode 1

i wear a scarf almost all the time, cannot be doing with a draught round my neck and they are so good for draping when it's too warm for a cardi, but not quite warm enough to flaunt bare bingo wings flesh

I am not blessed with bosoms though, which I do think make it more difficult cos you feel you are adding bulk

I'd say to go with very fine fabrics to get the drape, or something shorter like miffle's pic.

I normally fold them in half, triangular wise, this will give you an odd shape if it's a rectangular scarf but go with it, then hold the ends in opposite hands and keeping the middle in front of you loop each end around your neck so the bulk is in front and and end is each side

depending on the weather I either leave it like that, or knot the ends and hide them underneath the front, or knot them higher up to give dangly ends, or weave them through the front loop to secure.

Liberty have a YouTube channel with lots of tutorials.
Hermes had a download on their site as well, you'll have to rummage a bit for it.

That photo doesn't prove your point though really carrie!

how about a fleece snood pushed down to go round your neck? They work really well and you don't have the annoying ends flying about, coming untied etc. The 'ageing and grim' picture is the only way to stop that and looks quite neat. High-maintenance clothing is a real nuisance.

Patterned/flowery/floaty scarves do look frumpy and do add bulk, no two ways about it. And that spotty pointless thing won't keep you warm anyway.

or you could do the easy thing and buy some high necked shirts. Try an outdoor store.

I was given the same instruction to wear a scarf to stop neck muscles tensing up. (Also mid 40s.) I've got a couple of these which I find much easier than a 'proper' scarf (scroll over & you get a pic of someone wearing them), and they definitely do the job of stopping draughts (and yes, it does make a massive difference).

I'll be fine in winter, it's just summer I have a problem with, and sadly, I'll boil in fleece even though it's only 17 degrees here. The Seasalt things look nice, but perhaps not with a tshirt.

I'm being really difficult I know, sorry. I'll have to stick with frumpy I think, and hope that my upcoming nerve root injection works. Maybe i can distract attention with bright lipstick?

I wear them with t-shirts quite happily, but I do have a pretty casual look.

Good luck with your injection, btw.

I had forgotten how much I want Maitai's life!