Please help. Hair rut. So fed up. Close to dyeing the fucker blue.

[HazelMcWitch]

I'm forty one but only for a few more weeks.

I have very thick hair that used to be red, but now has faded to a, well, mousy greeny browny shitty faded colour. So I dye it with blonde highlights.

For years I had a dyed red short bob, but I got bored of it because I had to go to the salon more or less once every three weeks to keep it sharp and sort my roots out.

So I had all the red stripped out, grew it into a long bob, and hated it. The bleach killed the condition, it required endless washing and straightening to keep it tidy, and as it's thick and unruly, the minute I stepped out of the door it did its own thing anyway. It took ages to sort out in the mornings and it was all for nought because it always looked shit by 11 am.

So. I had it cut short. First not too short, then a radical undercut pixie thing. I liked it, but my teenagers told me I had 'speak to the manager' hair, which I took to mean no-nonsense middle-aged efficient, sexless hair.

So I tried growing it a bit on top, to make me more feminine.

Well, now I look like Claire Balding. Lovely woman, Claire, but my style icon she ain't. I saw a photograph of myself at a wedding that bore no relation to the woman I feel like inside.

Now I'm at an absolute loss. How does a woman in her forties get decent hair that doesn't scream Denise Welch/Claire Balding?

What the hell do I do? Help, mavens. I need you.

Imp, you are gorgeous! Very striking and cool looking.

You don't have to lose all the fringe if you don't think it will suit you, op, my hair has a wave particularly in the hairline and I need a longer fringe for it to sit right.

You definitely need a stylist with good taste though. I feel 100% confident in mine, I like the way he styles himself and trust his taste.

I also agree re earrings, they're tricky to get right with short hair. A wrong choice and it's easy to go all Pat Butcher.

I'm mid 40s and overweight but always feel good about my hair. It's from the eyebrows down it's all gone to shit.

By the way, OP, the MR pics were just to show how a small difference in styling can have a big effect on short hair, it wasn't the clothes I was on about.

I think the pic with the blue top looks like the 'short back and sides' that you were describing.

I love crevice's too. I'd love to be able to rock such a short fringe.

Another one here saying NOOO to short hair being ageing.

Don't forget to post that pic, mind, OP.

This! This is why I have no confidence!! Look at the picture!

I'm doubting myself again now!

hair

Shit.

I'll try again.

mum hair

And the lack of technical ability matches the story too

Anyone got any thoughts?

Go for it!

Beware mind, Denise Welch has just gone dark .

But the stereotypical mum hair image is clearly a thing, and not just in my imagination.

Bugger the Daily Mash.

Oh shit, she has an' all.

Back to the drawing board.

That pic of the lady with the laptop is aging because of the colour imo. I think older women go blonde as it blends with the grey and the roots aren't too noticeable.

But are young women blonde much? - seem to be more chestnut or dark brown. Or blue or pink, come to that. And older women are blanket blonde (to cover grey) not streaked which is more natural. If the lady had been dark to match her specs - and with some makeup would look fine imho.

I think you cant go wrong with any of Gennifers hairstyles

All time favourite

YY to Ginnifer. Lovely.

I wish I could get mine to do what Michelle's is doing there, but it's too heavy and the fringe flops down.

I think what you said about the blonde is absolutely right, actually. I think the blonde is the problem.

I'm not a blonde. I'm a redhead. It's just that my hair has forgotten. So now I have to sort out what colour I'm supposed to be, because short red hair is reminiscent of Danish grandmas.

DD has Gennfer hair , hers is thick with a slight kink in it. I just thin it out with thinning scissors and it sits ok.

Ooh, Coco, are you a hairdresser?

I'd love a hairdresser relative or friend.

Although I suspect I would soon wear out their goodwill.

No, but I do cut mine and the DDs hair
I haven't been to a hairdresser for 14 years and always get compliments on my hair

You do that yourself????

Im very gung ho

The speak to the manager haircut is not good. It is a bit of a meme and Id have given a clip round the ear to any teen who said that.

Oh, we have that kind of joshing relationship. He didn't mean any harm.

It just hit home a bit.

I do think there's a lot of sexism and ageism at play around all this though. I read an article today about "How your hair ages you". It was literally, too short, too long, too light, too dark, too boring, too edgy.

It just felt like, whatever you do you can't win, because you aren't young anymore so forget it.

A lot of the 'looking old' is due to posture and whether you shuffle or stride out imo.
That gingery blonde is lovely and her eyebrows are dyed to match.
That colour would suit you HMcW.

Had never heard of D Welch so just googled her and apparently she has just gone dark! Still doesn't look great, though, specially with her horribly bright, v aging lipstick. You are much prettier than, and will never look like, her.

Aw, poor DW. I didn't want to bash her.

I'm sure she's lovely and has a very cute much younger DH, so you know...I probably could do worse...

My problem is that I want to be Emanuelle Alt. And I'm not.

Just been looking at your photo again, Hazel. I think the colour you have at the moment is good, actually. Your eyebrows look fairly light, so I'd be wary of dyeing it too dark and it looking a bit wig-like.

Have you tried pushing the fringe to the side? Not to make a parting, the hair on top should be coming forward evenly around your head, IYSWIM, to avoid that 'short back and sides' look. Then you could try tucking one side behind your ear, I always like that look.

I honestly think it only looks frumpy because of the [sorry] rather bowl-like nature of how the fringe is sitting. It's a wide fringe that seems to have been cut the same length across the whole width. The fringe that Michelle Williams has is cut longer on one side, then pushed across.

Sorry for the long post!