Please help. Hair rut. So fed up. Close to dyeing the fucker blue.

[HazelMcWitch]

I'm forty one but only for a few more weeks.

I have very thick hair that used to be red, but now has faded to a, well, mousy greeny browny shitty faded colour. So I dye it with blonde highlights.

For years I had a dyed red short bob, but I got bored of it because I had to go to the salon more or less once every three weeks to keep it sharp and sort my roots out.

So I had all the red stripped out, grew it into a long bob, and hated it. The bleach killed the condition, it required endless washing and straightening to keep it tidy, and as it's thick and unruly, the minute I stepped out of the door it did its own thing anyway. It took ages to sort out in the mornings and it was all for nought because it always looked shit by 11 am.

So. I had it cut short. First not too short, then a radical undercut pixie thing. I liked it, but my teenagers told me I had 'speak to the manager' hair, which I took to mean no-nonsense middle-aged efficient, sexless hair.

So I tried growing it a bit on top, to make me more feminine.

Well, now I look like Claire Balding. Lovely woman, Claire, but my style icon she ain't. I saw a photograph of myself at a wedding that bore no relation to the woman I feel like inside.

Now I'm at an absolute loss. How does a woman in her forties get decent hair that doesn't scream Denise Welch/Claire Balding?

What the hell do I do? Help, mavens. I need you.

You could carry off a shorter cut and get them to leave a bit of height on top so you can spike it up or go for a tousled look. There are some great products for short hair that can help you acheive different looks. I think the main problem is that you're bored and need a change so a versatile haircut is best.

Here, if I can, you can!!

That looks lovely, Chip.

Mine just wouldn't do that, though. It's got a kink in it.

That's a great cut chip I love your graduated fringe.

Straighteners, OP!

Im 47, a 14 and have a big ole moon face and have a pixie.

OK...

a) your hair looks lovely as it is, and you dont look like Denise Welch (you need a bucket of fake tan on and a clingy wrap dress in garish colour for that look ).

b) you could DEF carry off a short-short style, pixie etc. Ignore your DDs. Speak-to-the-manager isn't a bad look to go with, anyway ...besides which, if you're a biker boot kinda gal, you're not gonna look like that anyway.

c) Short hair = you can fuck about with the colour loads, so if you're going to go super short, def try the blue...if not, nah. Faffy changing it / growing it out if you dont like it.

I've got a friend in her 50s with a pixie cut and I never know what colir her hair will be when I see her...she has been auburn, scarlet, purple and bleach-blonde in the last 18 months ish

I think you need more weight in the fringe and to dry it straight to make it sit right. At the moment your fringe is a bit combed forward and feathery.
Colour wise, i don't think there's anything wrong with it but if you're bored how about a chestnut colour?

Short hair is great, you just need a really good hairdresser who can do stylish cuts. Anyone can have short hair if it's cut well and they themselves can style it well.

Look at Isabella Rossellini. She's certainly got a round face and has kept it short and dark. And work with the wave - like this.

Loving all these pics and all the advice.

So...shorter pixie with blunter fringe, and tone down the blonde a bit? Maybe try a new salon to shake things up a bit?

Personally I think this style would work better and the hair a shade 6.5.

Wow, that's really short! Not sure I have the cojones for that. Or the cheekbones!

Is 6.5 a brunette shade?

Right......I'm here to tell you what you've been wanting to hear. I say it every time too. Unless you're 20 or off the scale gorgeous, short hair is indeed ageing. Start growing it. Don't go dark or golden either - aim for a nice clean ashy blonde. This frames your face with light. I'll go on a picture hunt now. Stand by......

You could have this in just a few months.

This looks like your weight and type of hair. It would take a year or three to get this long.
Once it's long you can tie it back or straighten for a change and go back to nearer your own colour with highlights so not colouring it so often.

No no no to the longer hair suggestions! And defo not Helen mirren that is not the OP at all! She is a biker boot girl she doesn't want boring sleek long hair she wants some funk!
I actually think long hair can be ageing sometimes as it can make some women look like mutton....

Where does she say that she is a biker boots girl?

You also have to look at the whole package, OP. Biker boots and pink hair are all very well if you're the sort of woman who has "fun" leopard print DMs and "crazy but I love it" jewellery.

Biker boots and lots of edgy Cos stuff with a great, well styled and well coloured short cut can be fabulous.

I love that Isabella Rossellini cut, she looks way more stylish than if she'd gone for a shoulder length cut.

With short hair the fringe and outline is really important. See Exhibits A & B, the lovely Mercedes Ruehl (who is way older than you). Blue top picture = awful frumpy cut. Black top picture = stylish.

Hair that short gets rid of the Denice Welch look and slims down the face. It needs to be well textured on the top to create a less clumpy pixie which you then use a texturising matte putty on it.Takes seconds with the right cut.

I think one important factor is to rethink jewellery with short hair esp earrings. It is easy to look Tory wife or menopausal social worker with say the addition of some overly glitzy earrings in the day time or some 'zany' wooden parrots. No earrings sometimes looks better.

Shade 6.5 is a light copper brown. Your colouring looks warm to me so I would warm the make-up up as well. You have lovely features 🙂

That short cut is FAB - mine ended up like that once though and I cried for 2 days straight - I need my fringe!

And just for balance - when I went from a mumsy blonde bob to a brunette pixie, I had nothing but comments on how it took at least ten years off me. Ditto now I've dyed it red.

I'm 41 this year am a size 12-14 and have a sizeable conk but have always felt my most feminine and comfortable with a pixie. Those 'rules' are bullshit.

I feel most frumpy with a bob or long hair. Contrary to popular belief LOADS of men find women with pixies attractive. Actually I have found it to be a most excellent filter.

Anyhow I like mine. 🙂😀

Short hair is not aging
Longer hair on me drags my face down and makes me look old and frumpy.

Crevice Imp you look amazing.

Amazing.

The Mercedes Ruehl pictures are very interesting. I think I need to rethink my whole look...

If you are near South East Wales PM me, my hairdresser is amazingly clever and I will share my secret.
People always ask me who vits my hair.
I fell in love with him when he cut my hair for a trip to London and I had many young men in Soho asking me who was my stylist!!

Go for a pixie cut with long side bits
And be grateful for your thick hair, mine is getting so bloody wispy!

My daughter has a fabulous undercut style at the moment with a silvery colour, courtesy of the same guy and she is around your age.
Go for it xx

Dammit, nowhere near Wales, but thank you!

I think my problem is, I have no clearly defined 'look', so sometimes the short hair looks funky, other times functional.

I'm at my most comfortable in skinnies and biker boots. But, other times I like vintage style dresses and Converse. Other times, like for work, it's sensible black trousers and a breton. And other times it's straight leg jeans and loafers.

So...sometimes I look like 'can I speak to the manager?', other times I look funkier. Kind of.

Right, I think I'm going to grow a pair of tits and get the really short pixie cut CreviceImp suggested. I'm going to have it dyed a warm chestnut, which is probably a couple of shades darker than my natural colour would be if I let it.

Wish it wasn't Easter so I could make an appointment!

I'll post a pic when I get it done if I don't bottle it