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Original poster

29 crepes a leaping.......

999 replies

magimedi · 10/02/2016 19:33

Well, I've grabbed the bull by the horns & am leaping into the new thread........

Felt very sad no one else had started one whilst I scoffed dined.

If no one like the title I am more than happy to have it deleted & go with anything else.

DH has taken over the catering for the month of February......... the food is good but the angst is another matter Grin

OP posts:
GiddyGiddyGoat · 01/03/2016 22:22

Will be thinking of you tomorrow Mrs S. Hope all goes well for you.

Monty, that must be a great relief, to know that dd is sorted and heading somewhere you are pleased about. Phew!

Original poster
magimedi · 01/03/2016 22:50

My thoughts will be with you tomorrow, MrsS.

BTM - that all sounds par for the course - much younger friend can't cope with seeing a mate in a home as she's worried it will be her one day. Honestly, I've been there with my DM, MIL & DH's aged aunt. All friends moan about the home on behalf of the one in there.

And I suspect your DM will moan to you tomorrow (or whenever you get there - maybe Friday??). You really have to grow a tough skin.

Does the place look OK to you?

Does it smell of wee?

Do the staff look OK?

Would your DM really be better at home?

Sorry to be so pragmatic (I think that is the word I want) - it's a vile time but you really have to weigh things up.

Much love & may you have the strength to deal with it all.

(((xxx)))

OP posts:
CointreauVersial · 01/03/2016 23:23

Oh, BTM, your poor DM. It must be so unsettling; all this change in such a short time. Hopefully, once you get up there to give her a little support in person she will feel a bit more positive. I'm sure the place is lovely, but it's a massive step for her to have taken; not surprising there's been a wobble. I didn't realise you were an "only" and it all falls to you.

Crem - my DDad and DSM are just the same; holding their financial purse strngs very tight, even though they are 80 and 79. They have fingers in many pies, and any attempt to get involved is rebuffed. One particular aspect irritates me; DDad, myself and DCousin jointly own a business (land) and I know bugger all about it, beyond banking the odd cheque. DDad runs it all - and very well, to be fair - but I keep hearing the ticking of a clock....

Nice Boden haul, Rose. I have the Casual Weekend Dress, in a turquoise print, and I think BD and possibly Rudy have the same one. I've just bought a lovely pair of slouchy navy trousers for work. I am also contemplating this Uniqlo long shirt.

Good news about the school, Monty! Such a stressful time....

addle · 02/03/2016 07:35

Thinking of you, Mrs S

Nothing to add to Magimedi's wise words, BTM, but hoping all goes well.

Blackduck · 02/03/2016 08:00

MrsS in my thoughts today.....

Blackduck · 02/03/2016 08:06

Audit was an hour of my life wasted.... (as in I sat in a room and was asked nothing). These things are very weird as the panel frequently do not get the UK context.....

Ddad been offered another home which is much much nearer (in fact walkable) so he will need to check it out.....

I am developing a cold and feeling very run down, but have loads of work to do.

And why do people feel the need to chose the nuclear option Angry

Blackduck · 02/03/2016 08:07

BTM hopefully its just a blip with dmum - as others have said it is a big move after so much time in one place....

BTW any decision on 12th? I am thinking I will come down Friday and see Mum/dad but find a hotel for Sat night so need a location!

motherinferior · 02/03/2016 08:10

BTM, remember all the 'helpful' friends and rellies I've endured....growing a thick skin is hard but we have to try.

bigTillyMint · 02/03/2016 08:28

Thanks everyone! MM, I know you are right and will kerp all that to the forefront later. Its that horrible feelung of being judged and feeling guilty of not doing enough (not quite sure how i could actually do more!)

BD I have booked the Mulberry, near to Waterloo from 7pm IIRC! Perhaps we could have an earlier start time nearby for those of us who fancy a cocktail first? Where does Happy Hour on Saturdays? Grin

Am at the services having a much needed coffee. The M1 Is miles of roadworks - so slow and frustrating compared to FranceAngry

wordassociationfootball · 02/03/2016 08:57

BTM I think it was off of your mum's friend to text that. Sadly anxiety is part of her condition. Maybe a meds conversation? Thinking of you.

Thinking of you Mrs S, very much.

motherinferior · 02/03/2016 08:57

We can never do enough. Really we can't. And we carry other people's worries and guilt and frustration. And if you do have siblings there's almost always a falling-out (I am still bruised by my sister saying "but you don't like her") and/or one person feels they're doing everything. But the thing is, all of this is normal. It's just very hard to realise that. Not least when it is part of a long long process.

wordassociationfootball · 02/03/2016 08:58

Crem your parents sound beyond difficult. Congrats on your loveliness.

Rosebag · 02/03/2016 09:29

MrsS I am with you in the clinic room. Waiting for results is shite. All my best for today. Flowers xx

Stropps I have never met a woman who wasn't looking over her shoulder waiting to be rumbled as an imposter. Even amongst the most successful and accomplished!

Tilly it's not always helpful when you get messages like that, well meaning as they are. I guess that when you have satisfied yourself that DM is safe and well cared for, you'll feel more confident. Her anxiety, if memory serves is something that arose a while ago as part of her illness, like waf said....the key is, if the staff are being kind and reassuring even if they have to repeat it 50 times a day. Magi's checklist is a very good one. Flowers Even though I have 3 siblings and obviously DM, I often felt alone in managing DDads situation...felt a huge weight of responsibility to be the practical unemotional one.

Monty Wine Cake Star and hope that Brian's sojourn is short-lived.

CV I've been eyeing up those Next trousers....are they good for big rear ends though? The Boden dress....I bought a print one in the summer the exact same shape and felt lovely in it, I now realise.

I am going back to my singing teacher today, after many months of feeling I couldn't sing. I am somewhat nervous it will unleash all the pent up feelings from the last 6 months. I am the going to have coffee with a teaching colleague whom I have just discovered has taken her teen son out of school...has ASD, but no statement and the school say they can't meet his needs. Sad

motherinferior · 02/03/2016 09:41

By the way, I think it was Molly who recommended Olverum; it has now been repackaged www.olverum.com/ very splendidly indeed, and I blagged some press samples (sadly just sachets not a bottle) and they are so fabulous (DD1 came into the bathroom and inhaled deliciously too) that I am definitely buying some for DSis’s next birthday and possibly for me too when I have finished the other posh bath oil I blagged. I don’t have baths very often but this was quite wonderful.

motherinferior · 02/03/2016 10:14

MrsS texted me and wants me to let you know it's precancerous cells so they'll just remove a bit more tissue. GrinThanksWineThanks

herbaceous · 02/03/2016 10:15

Hello all

Positive vibes to you, Mrs S. I had a similar thing a few years ago, and when I went to get the result the doctor's first words were 'well, I'm not saying it's cancer...' Nul points for bedside manner. Let us know ASAP!

BTM, and others under the Ageing P kosh - it seems as if it's not enough to feel guilty about our children. We now have to feel guilty about our parents too. I was on the phone to mum last night, and apparently dad's fallen over a couple of times at home in the past week, and been unable to get up again. Paramedics have been called, via the special emergency button he wears. But it's not good.

It may or may not be related to the copious quantities of wine he gets through. I think mum's given up trying to stop him opening a bottle about 5.30 every night.

I too am an imposter. I was at the sixth-form college today, and both my departments wanted to 'have a chat' about how best I could help their classes. I read this as 'you're shit, and we want to give you a rocket up your arse'. Though I dare say it could have been 'we're not using this amazingly talented resource appropriately'. I've now got to teach 20 minutes of a lesson next week. While this is good for experience, I'm reluctant to start down that path there, as I'm only being paid £9 an hour...

No Brian here, but a bit of Kev the Khazi.

Lalsy · 02/03/2016 10:29

MrsS, great news, hurrah!

What wisdom and compassion on this thread re ageing Ps. Why don't we run the world, crepeys? BTM, hope your visit goes smoothly. And BD, that the nearby home looks good.

Original poster
magimedi · 02/03/2016 12:15

Great news, MrsS.

Yes, I think we'd all be very good as a bunch of (benevolent) dictators!

OP posts:
Rosebag · 02/03/2016 13:00

Much relief at this end re the news MrsS Flowers

herbaceous · 02/03/2016 13:04

Sorry - I x-posted with MI back there.

I don't know much about all this, but crepey verdict seems to be 'pre-cancerous' is good news. Huzzah!

motherinferior · 02/03/2016 13:06

Fairly benevolent dictators - dictatrices? Special penalties for misused apostrophes.

herbaceous · 02/03/2016 13:15

I don't think we should be remotely benevolent. We know best.

motherinferior · 02/03/2016 14:04

We could be remote, and occasionally benevolent. When we feel like it. Despotic. I fancy being a despot.

Collymollypuff · 02/03/2016 14:08

Lalsy, I think you'll find I do run the world.

Oh, wait...

Wine to MrsS, so pleased it's a good result. The aged parents/dependent dc sandwich - yes, yes, the guilt...there's a book there that needs to be written. Sister could contribute stern words in clearly highlighted boxes.

Olverum is indeed divine and during the bird flu panic, ds was constantly doused in it, as I feared for his life and believed in Olverum's restorative properties. Grin

Collymollypuff · 02/03/2016 14:12

Thing is, I do run the world, but every now and again I have imposter syndrome. AIBU to ask for help in banishing this self-doubt?