you look tired!

[IntelligentPutty]

What an insult!!
Is it just me that feels like saying 'oh I look like shit.?? Well thanks for that!'

F**ktards!

Oh I'm guilty of this. It didn't occur to me it was insulting. I'm trying to be sympathetic! If people say it to me I want to hug them and say 'finally! someone who understands me!'

Wow. Although I sympathise with your point, you will get a roasting. Please don't use that word, it's disablist and extremely derogatory.

My mil says this to me all the time. I feel like saying 'well you don't look too hot yourself!'. I wouldn't mind if I was actually feeling tired but I could be fresh as a daisy and she still says it and then I just feel utterly deflated.

My boss used to say this all the time to me & it drove me mad! I thought what a silly thing to say when I had two young children, one of whom barely slept at night! I used to put my make up on think I looked so much better & then she'd still say it!!

Just rude if you don't actually look knackered or if the person says it to you on a regular basis like my previous ndn did.

I hate it too. It means ''you look old, you look shit'.

Think it would be acceptable to reply ''and you too :-/ poor you! what's happened to us?'' with a fake smile.

Or possibly, "Oh do I? Ah well. Can't have everything. I mean, look at the size of your jowls today!."

"Aww so do you"

Once out for a coffee with a friend, pats my hand, literally head tilts and says 'hmm, you've not been sleeping have you?'.

I'd slept fine.

Went home and bought a new concealer.

"It didn't occur to me it was insulting. I'm trying to be sympathetic! "

If I'm tired, I'm glad if people notice and I do find it sympathetic.

It's shit isn't it? I hear it every morning from a certain work colleague while he's looking at my boobs along with 'you haven't slept well have you? ' ...lovely chap, wants to make me feel good about myself

Does my head in. How is it ever helpful?!

From a colleague : "Oh I was just telling my friend about you Lucy! I was saying 'there's a young mum I work with and she always looks absolutely shattered! (Much laughter) We've all been there, we know how it feels, love"
DS was sleeping through the night fine and I thought I looked ok. I think she got the message from my very wounded expression.

Just say "gosh I was about to say how ill you look - are you coming down with something?"

Gwenhwyfar thanks goodness it isn't just me! Clearly in the minority here though!

Iguana I love that one!

"How is it ever helpful?!"

I think I explained above why I think it's helpful Madmomma. It validates you if you're feeling tired and if you know you also look tired, you can be hopeful that people will give you a bit of a break if you look a bit slow.

People always say it to me when I feel quite upbeat and chipper though, and I just feel really deflated, and ugly.

But if you're feeling ok or have made an effort, with make up etc, not to look tired then it's a bit of a kicker to be told you still look shit.

I realise that's not what they mean btw but it does make you feel a bit like that.

I've said this but only when I've been worried about a friend as they look like they've had a few sleepless nights. I feel shattered myself sometimes and am an empathic Perron

My friends will tell be why they are sleepless. I'll help if I can

I think telling someone they look tired is really rude. If they are tired then they don't want to look tired and if they aren't tired then they'll feel bad too. Lose-lose. Plus they will be upset and annoyed with you for saying it.

"If they are tired then they don't want to look tired "

I disagree. If I'm tired I appreciate a bit of understanding and that's easier to get if I feel tired. It's like feeling ill, but being told you have to do something strenuous because you don't look ill.