Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, Crepes in this petty pace from day to day

[CointreauVersial]

Anything but the C-word!

Stropps, do you think it's possible DD overshot a bit, in her swing towards knuckling down, then had qualms about whether she can do it and overshot the other way?

Can't think which cluster h/a meds would preclude driving, though she obviously shouldn't drive during a cluster. Sorry if I've missed this but is the diagnosis firm? CCGs will not pay for referrals unless they meet strict criteria, which vary a bit from region to region, but most neurologists would see a 17 y.o. with cluster h/a. And you're right, during a cluster the meds should be injected or inhaled, not oral.

I'm currently on a panel for a serious incident inquiry. Profoundly depressing. Most of what went wrong is directly related to benefit cuts

DD has been asked to give a speech at Open Day because the entire Head Girl team is away at a conference. Is she being groomed, d'you think?

On the party front, I succeeded in nailing a couple of bits of jelly to wall tonight . Good point about clear timings, Rose, going to use that. Also going to be Very Firm about dogs - if mine has to be boarded out for the w/e, so does everyone else's.

Rose - agree with MrsS - for that money I'd be letting them do it and be expecting amazing food...

Stropps - it just doesn't stop does it?

Here we are one week off our team member going and we are falling apart already...

I know, I know… the home are more than happy to feed, and the food is excellent…it's like a hotel menu every day. It's DM and her idiosyncrasies that have to be factored in…. Apparently she was very pleased with me…I got him to eat more than usual. She's forgotten that I used to work with the elderly…but that was a job. It's not really the kosher thing Cremo as DM decided he'll have it all except the pork.

Stropps I know it's two steps forward and one step back but you have made inroads with DD. It's good if the school are involved to a certain extent…they're less emotionally involved, but hopefully will handle things sensitively. Sorry about the medication blip. Is there any way to see it as a delay in the driving rather than a show stopper?

Auriga Sounds like an opportunity for your DD!

We're off today for a bit off a break at the flat…I'm struggling for some space if I'm really honest. The DC behaved badly during my class last night and were noisy and disruptive. DH went out before the end of it, leaving them to it. I just wonder why they have never been able to give me that two hours a week where they need to be in the background? I've given them a helluva lot more of my life than that….

Oh Rose, love. I am sorry. Do remember that you really know your stuff and journalists interview you on the strength of it.

I have managed a good night's sleep and a Ladyjog! (Actually I've managed three Ladyjogs and a Ladysplash this week - couldn't drag myself out yesterday.) And I went through some of my financial stuff with an IFA yesterday and am reassured that I won't completely starve in my old age though there are probably Steps I Should Take. I must maintain this mood of bullish optimism, which the arrival of BTM's cleaner later this morning will greatly assist.

More work news: a tutoring job, as many hours as I want. Woot!

I am quite pleased with myself for bucking up. I have a relatively new strategy to deal with disappointment - have a massive sulk and strop, wallow and feel sorry for myself until I can sulk no more (this takes max one day) then reflect on the fact that maybe I could have done something differently. Then move on. In the old days I would have pretended to myself that it didn't matter, and brushed it under the carpet, where it would fester and stop me from actually moving on.

Works better. Doesn't stop the occasional paralysing bout of self-doubt though.

MI - I am still not brave enough, at my ripe old age, to confront my financial situation. I realise this is not good. Must apply strategy above.

MI, she comes to me on a Fri morning too - interested to see how she fits us both in... !

I am joining Stropps on the frustration bench and stepping back. When does this all end?

Ooh, I do like your hair, Rudy....I myself must either dye or decide to stop dyeing mine. DD1 particularly keen I go for a short crop and let it go grey. She suggests we both get our noses pierced as well.

Rudy, I really like your hair [helpful].

Herbs, that is great news and a really good point about dealing with disappointment. I am sure I do the sweeping thing - it is part of invisibility training I think?

BTM, wassup?

Reason for feeling bonkers and shattered yesterday now apparent. And I have 7 hours on trains tomorrow.

Rudy - I like your hair too, but if you wanted a change, maybe a bob with a side parting? A bit like Dr Foster?

A situation is developing with DS and his BFF. DS never says hello to anyone, even to good friends who cheerily greet him. He claims to be too shy, but of course it just looks rude. I always ask him to say hello, and say hello back, and am the very model of good behaviour, but it makes no difference. Now he's not even acknowledging his BFF in the playground in the mornings, and is causing upset. Do I instigate a sticker chart or flogging? Sorry, I know this a minor parenting issue, but just what's on my mind!

Herbs, we had similar. No carrots or sticks worked and drawing attention to it just made it worse. I would be tempted to ignore, have a word with BFF's parents, and carry on being super-smiley yourself. He will copy you one day without noticing I think.

Herbs, have you said to him, bluntly: "It is rude not to say hello, even if you are shy. You are hurting other children's feelings."? Sounds like he's got a bit stuck in this mode of behaviour.

Molly, I have said this, yes. It makes him cry!

Herbs, I'm not sure. I think Lalsy's advice is good - hopefully it is a phase and he will stop doing it?

Lalsy, I think DD is finding the change of school/jump to A'levels difficult and is being very rude and expecting us to fall over backwards for her at home. She has been late twice now, and will have been late this morning too. She is acting very immaturely

BFF's mum is the one who contacted me, saying DS's ignoring of BFF in the mornings is upsetting him! They're inseparable the rest of the day, so he can't understand it. I think DS would be upset to know he was upsetting BFF, but almost can't help himself.

You could do the opposite of ignoring it, and treat it as a serious skill which needs practice at home. So you could practise saying hello to his toys, for example? Also, does his father model hello-saying? I ask because I under-estimated massively how much ds' shyness was moulded by dh's taciturnity and general silence. Men don't talk, is what he learnt. Women can talk to anyone.

Ah, you could be on to something there. DP is generally pretty friendly, though less chatty than me, but doesn't walk down the road shouting out cheery greetings in the same way I do. Partly because he doesn't know as many randoms.

Yeah, Herbs, that's exactly what dd was like (though she was older). I don't think it was something she could do. I really wish now I hadn't made a big deal of it as I think it prolonged that stage and made her feel even more self conscious…vicious cycle. But Molly could be right. Umm, would a code between the boys work? My snot is green = I am really pleased to see you, let's play Star Wars. Make a joke of it to defuse things?

Oooh BTM, that sounds hard.

That is a good idea Molly - practising on his toys.

One of my kids is as prone to calling out loud random greetings as I am. The other looks on in horrified shame if I dare to speak to anyone including close friends.

This is not correlated with age

Another friend has suggested that he and BFF develop a secret handshake they can do in the morning, if DS can't muster a hello.

He's delightful to his toys. Says hello, asks them how they are, etc etc. He's like a Victorian society lady taking tea.

Secret handshake is a fab idea. He can keep practising on his toys in the meantime .

Exactly, MI. I know loads of teens - some will stop to talk, others have a secret little flutter of the hand to acknowledge you. They all mean it well but I think it is just much harder for some than others - with dd I am now pretty sure it was being bullied/made to feel like an outsider for years that made her very self conscious about greetings, as deep down she had reason to fear they would not be well received . Hindsight is wonderful thing.

I am en route to deepest Baarkshoire to see my mother. At least the weather is nice.

To add to the teen woes, DD1 has been crying on the phone to me every night about how much she hates school. The lovely head of boarding has said he will have a word with her. I suspect part of it is that the school work has ratcheted up a lot, she missed the start of term, so doesn't know many of the new boarders etc etc.