Looking your best as you approach 40...

[dontcryitsonlyajoke]

So I've got a year to go to my 40th. My 30s has been all about huge changes - physical, emotional and career - due to 4 pregnancies, 3 babies, 3 years of breastfeeding and associated weight loss and gain.

The birth of my youngest a year ago brought unbelievable sleep deprivation and has aged my face significantly. I used to look young for my age but I look every day of my 39 years now!

I want to hit my 40s in a much better frame of mind - it's going to be the selfish decade where I reclaim a lot of "me".

So I want your tips on how to get myself looking and feeling better. The baby steps I've made so far are:

1. Good cleanse/serum/moisturise routine in place for the last 2 years but nothing more - no variants beyond my morning and night routine
2. finally found a hairstyle that suits and I think I can keep
3. started filing and clear varnishing my bitten-for-30-years nails so they're starting to look better (though still very weak
4. 2 litres of water most days
5. good exercise routine

What else would you suggest I do?

Ps kello just be careful applying retin A as you have to build-up very slowly. Start on 0.025 and use it a couple of times a week building up to every day over a couple of months. You will need a high sunscreen too as you will have sensitive skin( I use factor 40).It may cause flakiness and redness but stay with it as this will pass. If your skin is sore ease off it. Also just a pea sized blob is enough. Apologies if you have done your homework already.

Ps some people can not tolerate retin A or can only use it once a week etc so take it slow.

My Hylamide serum and beauty molecules came today Also, have just remembered that I bought powdered collagen shots just before my 40th. Must check it is still in date.

Well, my expensive lip plumper arrived today.
Gutted. Barely a tingle and no effect at all.
Gutted

My mum is 62 and has decided to stop dying her hair and go grey ... and it looks great! The secret definitely seems to be to try to look good at one's age rather than to try to look younger, which almost always fails somehow.

Wow, I think the best thing about getting older is not giving a shit about what I look like! The best thing you can possibly do for your wellbeing - get out and do some sport, at least 5 days a week. Then don't drink, and eat lots of vegetables and you will feel 200% better. You will probably also get skinny too, although that will be a side effect of the fun and exercise you are having, rather than a goal. Also don't waste money on beauty products, hair dye, make up and cosmetic procedures - the more "done" you are, the older you look.

Okay then.

Glad that works for you tootsietoo (genuinely!)

For me, I've not given a shit through my 30s and I'm bored of that. I'm not trying to be a Stepford wife (I'm not thin or pretty enough) but I want to look less crumpled and worn down by 3 young kids and work.

I agree with you on exercise though. I am way stronger and fitter (though actually podgier!) than before children and it has really helped with my resilience through a very tough time of my life. I'm planning to up my exercise by 1 session so I'll be at 5 in September. Exercise is brilliant when you find what works.

I don't do makeup etc, but I do think part of the fun of being older in my case (and no longer having young children) is having a bit more spare cash to spend on some nice clothes and a decent haircut. Appreciate not everyone is in this position, of course.

I had a Fire & Ice facial and then Endytherm at S-Thetics

If you can get there (it's in Beaconsfield), I really recommend it. I had an analysis of my skin done using a Visia machine, which takes photos of the skin and shows up e.g. UV damage, etc. The team running the clinic are incredible - really knowledgeable and friendly.

I'm 40 now (it's not too bad, honest!) and I feel that going and having this treatment/in-depth look at my skin has made me much more aware of what I use on it and what I can do in future to keep it healthy (and looking good!).

The Endytherm treatment was incredible - I had one half of my face done, then saw myself in the mirror. There was visible lift on the treated side of my face - all glowy and dewy and plumped up like a 17yo! I can see how people with £££ look better than ordinary mortals if they've access to this sort of thing all the time - but, as I say, well worth it for infrequent pampering sessions too!

I've just turned 40 & feel like I've aged overnight. Have put on a few pounds, look & feel tired. This is the worst I've ever looked. I have just joined a gym but don't even feel motivated to go as am always tired after work & being run ragged by dc 7 & 3.
Those people who exercise a fair bit, how do you fit it in to busy everyday life? I guess I need a routine but I always seem to be saying 'I'll just do this first...'

Oh no Vomm! :( Maybe try putting slightly more on to see if it makes a difference? I can't believe it didn't work for you, how gutting :(

Sorry, my response was a bit abrupt and flippant, but I do think that a) the beauty industry is a great big con to take our money and make us feel crap about how we look and b) exercise and not drinking is the answer! (glad you agree don'tcry). You have so much more energy, and I feel so much more positive than I used to.

Jemster, I've been running in lunch hour at work. I am lucky though in that I'm often on my own in the office so other people don't have to sit next to me when I'm all sweaty having been for a run! Otherwise, the other time to do it is about 6/6.30am (assuming other half is in the house for the children), or I go to running club in the evenings at 7pm (again, if he's back). At 6am I either go to the pool or go for a run or a cycle. I hate the gym, it smells and it's boring!

43 here.

I cycle 5 times a week (around 6 ks) and agree with the PP it's the best thing ever for looking good at your age. I cycle mainly because it's part of my commute - my recommendation is to find exercise that you can easily fit into your day, whatever that is.

i also use sunscreen religiously - my skin looks great for my age (they tell me).

and yes yes to eating well. Also, wearing classic clothes rather than trendy seems to work better as you get older.

Doh, it's Endymed, not Endytherm! I obviously was thinking about the glowy heat sensation on my face when I posted that

PrimalLass, how are you finding your new products?

My top style tip for looking young is scruffy. I was asked for ID in Sainsburys about 5 years ago. I laughed and thanked the checkout woman and she looked confused and made me get it out, and then looked very embarrassed. My only explanation was what I was wearing - baggy ripped low rise jeans, small t-shirt and baseball cap so she couldn't see the wrinkles properly! Obviously I have recounted this story many times in the last 5 years :D.

PS I would not say, though, that that is how to Look Your Best. Which is not the same as looking young!

PrimalLass, how are you finding your new products?

Well the serum didn't make me go bright red, which is a start. I have v sensitive skin.

Do I need some of this retinol stuff? Please link for suitable products.

Inspired by this thread I have just bought some chemicals from eBay. I look SO haggard (early 40's) so I'll follow this post and let you know how i get on.
Thanks OP.

Im 40 and I feel and look better than I have done through the years.

My skin is great (Avon Reversalist 40+)
Exercise - I run. 5k, 10k, HM.
Clothes - I got down to Primark to treat myself. Its the only place I can get a decent pair of jeans. Super skinny, stretch and that all important high waist (I have 3 kids so belly isn't great even though I'm under 8st 7lb) and tgey cost £10. Plus a few nice tops, black jacket. Feel comfy and will do wonders.

Hair - bit of a pain but its Julia Roberts Pretty Woman look.but I love it and my trade mark.

Slightly random lounger activity yesterday!

Before hols I decided to properly declutter my wardrobe and focus only on items that went with multiple other things (I had been reading the Vivienne files after a recommend on here). It really helped removing the nice green top that looks good but goes with nothing, the random cerise pink t shirt etc. as suddenly I saw that lots of my stuff did go together as there were just a few key colours.

Anyway I took photos of each item inc accessories so when I went shopping I could remember what I had already. But yesterday I was pondering the comments on clothes on this thread, and had the genius idea of putting outfits together using the photogrid app.

It turns out I have loads of outfits, and have a capsule wardrobe without even realising it! Some stuff is a bit shabby or not quite perfect and needs replacing, but at least I can put outfits together for a few months while I find the right items. And I can print out the photogrids and stick to my wardrobe so I don't even have to think about what outfit to put together each morning!

I'm going home feeling like I have half a chance of looking put together this autumn, and playing with the simple capsule wardrobe idea without even having to spend a penny other than new boots and shoes which I desperately need.

And I'm going to burn the summer pantaloons ;)

A cheering thought at the end of my holiday

tootsie I completely agree with you about the beauty industry getting rich by making us feel bad about ourselves. With all these products and procedures now available, we should be feeling fantastic yet it seems like the opposite is happening and that we're getting more insecure and self critical. Sorry to be a downer but it makes me very uneasy.

Following as am also 40 next year and was in same boat.
However, last year I lost loads of weight due to stress of divorce and am now using it to kick start my new look for my new me (and man!)
So....
Had my colours done - revolutionary- I look so much better in my own colours.
Decent hair cut
Bought Nutribullet and have fruit/veg smoothie most days.
Exercise most days
Focus on the little things that make me smile - exercising facial muscles helps muscle memory and reduces wrinkles.
Also wax now which makes me feel neat and tidy

Great thread!

Thank you Floisme. Glad it's not just me. I used to read all those women's magazines and in the last few years I suddenly feel as if I've been let in on the conman's secret. And while it's mostly women on the receiving end, men and boys are starting to suffer from it to.