Looking your best as you approach 40...

[dontcryitsonlyajoke]

So I've got a year to go to my 40th. My 30s has been all about huge changes - physical, emotional and career - due to 4 pregnancies, 3 babies, 3 years of breastfeeding and associated weight loss and gain.

The birth of my youngest a year ago brought unbelievable sleep deprivation and has aged my face significantly. I used to look young for my age but I look every day of my 39 years now!

I want to hit my 40s in a much better frame of mind - it's going to be the selfish decade where I reclaim a lot of "me".

So I want your tips on how to get myself looking and feeling better. The baby steps I've made so far are:

1. Good cleanse/serum/moisturise routine in place for the last 2 years but nothing more - no variants beyond my morning and night routine
2. finally found a hairstyle that suits and I think I can keep
3. started filing and clear varnishing my bitten-for-30-years nails so they're starting to look better (though still very weak
4. 2 litres of water most days
5. good exercise routine

What else would you suggest I do?

Money well-spent pavlov. I wreckon all mners will be on it soon.

RJ I am relishing not giving a flying shite about my weight for the first time in 25 years. Every time I eat another bowl of ice-cream I imagine my saggy neck miraculously filling out. I was trying to do it with good fats like avocados but ice-cream is so much more delicious.

I went for a consultation about Botox a few years ago but the woman who owned the clinic scared the bejeesus out of me with her weird tight shiny face.

Yes not keen on the alien just leaving the mother-ship look either.

I have been working on healing my gut for the past few months and it is beginning to work wonders. More energy, better skin, strong nails. Check out Hemsley and Hemsley cookbook.

Marking place too as I could have written your post. Four years of no sleep has wrecked my face and two big babies has done the same to my body. Does anyone have any tips for how to improve post bf boobs?

Taking notes.

Marking place as well. Can someone link where to buy the cheapest but reliable acid and retinol from in the UK please?

This thread is being so helpful - so pleased I started it! I've been pondering it lots while lolling on holiday loungers and observing people. I've decided that Italians are indeed the most effortlessly stylish people in the world and I'm going to channel my inner Italian in all this

The thing I'm realising is that I start lots of things but am a bit half hearted, due to

1. not knowing what I'm doing or what I should use (nails, make up, skincare)
2. lack of energy due to horrendous sleep deprivation (I've been eating lots more veg and good fats and meat/fish, but still a bit too much comfort chocolate/cake, exercise routine has a good baseline but an extra session a week would really get things moving)
3. not spending money wisely (buying clothes as needed due to baby related weight fluctuation/breastfeeding requirements etc rather than with care over what suits or fits in to my wardrobe)
4. not enough spare time to feel I can make time for extras at home or in salons (skincare extras, eyebrow tidy up, painting nails, visiting dentist to ask about teeth, more regular haircuts)

So I need to address those things. Some are easing as the baby sleeps better and goes to childcare. I work freelance and not always too busily so can find a bit of time for me during childcare days as well as weekends now.

Then in terms of what I'm going to do

1. find time/budget for regular grooming in salons and book it in my diary well in advance - hair, eyebrows
2. teach myself how to do decent nails (my holiday manicure is a bit disastrous really, though DH thinks it looks good and that I should try it more often!) I'm about to start a thread on this
3. tweak the diet once I'm back from holiday
4. add in extra exercise session - not sure what yet though
5. think through my wardrobe properly and make a list of what I really need and then not deviate from it until I have a good basic wardrobe. Have started a pinterest board to gather my ideas and reading the Vivienne files for capsule ideas
6. beef up skincare - going to research supplements and retin A and start on those.
7. start wearing make up daily, just mascara and a bit of blusher and lippie for now. Will worry about foundation once I've worked on my skin- it has always been clear enough not to need any but if I can't get rid of the unglowing tiredness then i may need to consider a base
8. book appt with my dentist to discuss teeth whitening/straightening
9. wear contact lenses more. I look better in them than glasses and except when i have a computer heavy day there is no need to stay in glasses other than extreme laziness!

I have so much I can try first that I'm not even thinking about fillers etc at the moment, though interested that it's working for several of you.

Post bf boobs-good strong bra (bravissimo)

Sounds like a plan dontcry

Guess it depends how you're ageing.. For myself and probably the others that mention fillers (probably more than the botox) there was nothing else that would address it.. If you've lost facial volume all the creams/early nights/facials/makeup in the world won't help...

Glad you're ageing better than I was

Happy girl - I don't disagree with you. I suspect I'm mainly suffering dehydration and tiredness at the moment and that I may be able to remedy it. A few fine lines on my forehead and my eyes but mouth seems ok. Not sure I need extra help yet, or at least think skincare products may have a chance first. My mum is 61 and has a reasonably plump face naturally, so I suspect my genes may be helpful in this regard.

I can second bravissimo for good bras post bf. It's the only place I trust with my massive norks!

Is this retinal A and acid thing ok for really sensitive skin?

I'm late 30's sleep deprived sahm for last 7 years and beginning to reclaim myself. I've aged terribly

jelly It's not ok for sensitive skin!! At least it wasn't for mine. I know we're all different in this respect but I would go very, very carefully.

.

I know you say you only wear make up for speicla occasions...never underestimate how it can transform you.mwithout it I look ten years older.

Also, all the lotions and potions in the world will never, ever, recreate the magical, skin smoothing, year erasing effects of Botox. Don't be scared by it!

I have it every 4 months or so and it it not a frozen effect. Just a good nights sleep effect.

I'm 39 too. New colleague guessed my age as 29 last week. Happy wit h that.

OP I think your plan sounds good.

I am in the same boat - 6 months down the line after having my second (and last) child, and starting to reclaim myself. Fed up of looking tired and haggard.

So a question: can you still use these retin-a and wotsit acid things while bf?

And another: anyone have any tips for tackling baggy eyes? Mine have always been a trouble spot but after 6 months of broken sleep (on top of the previous 3 years with DC1) they are worse than ever. I am not averse to surgery if that is really the only permanent solution (DM had it and it was definitely worth it for her).

Other than that I too am doing the wardrobe editing, more difficult than expected go say goodbye to some things but need to be brutal!

And off for a haircut today - total restyle. Short. gulp

PS I am also 39, 40 in March. Focuses the mind, doesn't it...

I have a mirror and am looking!!
Lines don't seem to be my main problem.
Bags under eyes and also droopy eyelids ( that I think I've always had) do!

Only surgery, not creams and potions can solve those 2 things. Bugger!!

Same here Chaise. Very few lines but I can see ageing for me is going to consist of my entire face slowly travelling south.

Fuck you, gravity!

Puppet lines?? Is that what they're called. I have them. Lucky me. And now I know what they're called.

My main problem is sagginess - not sure there is a lot can be done for that.

But I have had my teeth whitened which I think has made a big difference. Also get a good haircut and colour with a partial side fringe. Sorry to say but I think the most ageing thing is being overweight, makes you look very frumpy.

Splodgeness - I am overweight (been working on it well since jan but not really there yet) and it does look frumpy. And scrawniness adds decades! There's a sweet spot in the middle, isn't there? For my frame, I'm aiming for a toned size 10-12. I'm a 14 at the moment bottom half (just! Still 16 at some shops) and a 12/14 on top. Want to be an easy 12 by the time I'm 40 (which is a euro size 40 so seems fitting!)

I'm very strong and am also pretty fit, and have a diet which is 80% excellent. These help me feel good, but need to shed a stone I reckon to drop the frumpy mum look. Going to tweak the extra 20% (cake, choc, bread basically!)

Fringe worked for me for a short while but got really hacked off with hairdresser never quite cutting it as well as the first time she did it. Changed hairdresser but nervous of getting one cut in again. Side fringe might be a good idea to ease me in.

IS there something that works wonders on dark circles and crepey skin under the eyes? I have been ill for the last year and have aged massively in these respects.

Hello all. I'm ten years on from most of you and think I look better now than when I was 40. Things that I think help are;
Drinking the water, yep I know you've got that one checked.
Finding the eye cream and moisturiser that work for you. I use Boots Time Delay for mature skin.
I got a fringe- good tip! It hides that line between my eyebrows and the generally lined forehead. Also I colour my hair and a fringe helps hide those 'stubborn grey' at temples and sideburns.
I got an exfoliating sponge from Boots. About £1.99. And use it with Simple age defying facial wash. I like to wash my face.
Try and get enough sleep. Hard with younger children I know.
Yes to sorting the wardrobe. I junked a lot of mumsie clothes and had a think about how I wanted to dress and what shapes suited me.
Other than that I just feel much more relaxed and happier which probably makes a big difference.

I'm going to get some concealer after watching the Sali Hughes video because I have those dark patches at inner eye.