Looking your best as you approach 40...

[dontcryitsonlyajoke]

So I've got a year to go to my 40th. My 30s has been all about huge changes - physical, emotional and career - due to 4 pregnancies, 3 babies, 3 years of breastfeeding and associated weight loss and gain.

The birth of my youngest a year ago brought unbelievable sleep deprivation and has aged my face significantly. I used to look young for my age but I look every day of my 39 years now!

I want to hit my 40s in a much better frame of mind - it's going to be the selfish decade where I reclaim a lot of "me".

So I want your tips on how to get myself looking and feeling better. The baby steps I've made so far are:

1. Good cleanse/serum/moisturise routine in place for the last 2 years but nothing more - no variants beyond my morning and night routine
2. finally found a hairstyle that suits and I think I can keep
3. started filing and clear varnishing my bitten-for-30-years nails so they're starting to look better (though still very weak
4. 2 litres of water most days
5. good exercise routine

What else would you suggest I do?

Well, I applied the lip serum again with a bit more generous hand and closer to the outline of my lips and there was a noticeable difference!
Going to carry on with the twice a day 30 day routine and if it doesn't live up to the claims, then I think I'll just drink it!

I agree with tootsie too.

I've discovered a way to deal with saggy chins and necks (it's not ice cream BTW that only gives you baggy eyebags!) . I've got abs which I didn't have when I was a size 8 and 24 yrs old!!! Also firm boobs etc. WITHOUT ANY CHEMICALS OR BOTOX, knives or anything horrible

It works on me and it would definitely work on you babies!! and it's called shi atsu or tui na.

The chinese have been doing it for hundreds of years. I can't find the book I use, it involves doing a form of acupuncture on yourself, just pressing on certain meridian points on your face and body and scalp for 3 times in the morning in bed (it's fantastic for your hair too) The book is called something like Internal Healing.

Am really enjoying this thread. I agree with all the advice about clothes, hair, exercise but have recently taken a different view on what I think can be fairly harsh chemicals for the face.

I'm 44 and have really improved my complexion (still prone to monthly/stress bouts of spots) by drinking aloe Vera and using Neals Yard rose facial oil. There are some great organic products out there and I would really recommend Neals Yard, the products last for ages and the Frankincense anti ageing cream is amazing! Coconut oil shampoo is fantastic for the dreaded grey (or white in my case!) frizz which starts to stealthily multiply.

Good luck, don'tcry, be yourself and don't compare yourself too much to others.

Love the Internal Healing book thingy - googling it now!

stickybeaks I agree about the harsh chemicals and botoxing just stretches your skin so unless you're rich enough to do it ALL the time you end up with MORE wrinkles . I find that Argan oil is a lovely delicate oil for my hair and skin.

I'm into essential oils in a big way and make my own mixes; it's fab.

Sorry I can't find the author's name to help you Joycey I moved our books around for redcorating recently Any luck?

What's all this talk of harsh chemicals and stretching of skin. What harsh chemicals are you talking about? Glycolic acid and retin A are not harsh chemicals and do not stretch the skin.

I said that Botox stretches the skin. So Glycolic acid isn't acid then? I don't know what it is but isn't the clue in the name? I've no idea what's in retin A.

I have sensitive skin and I break out just reading the extremely long lists of ingredients in most of the branded anti aging cosmetic creams .

glycolic acid doesn't stretch the skin any more than Chinese accupressure gives you firm boobs and lifts saggy eyelids.

sorry, I see you said it was botox only. I can't see how botox stretches the skin either though. Can you link to studies please?

To be fair, acid doesn't necessarily mean it's sulphuric acid that's going to burn holes in you. As a word it just reflects that it's on one side of neutral rather than the other

Floisme, tootsie - I gave up buying womens mags about 5 years ago. It was very liberating and saved me loads of money (both by not spending on the mags and not being conned into buying the latest PR-placed beauty and fashion guff)

I'm now perfectly content with my level of buy in to the beauty industry - good quality but not overly priced skincare (so I buy well recommended Superdrug own brand for example), only removing hair from my body when I feel like it etc. I just need a boost, a change. I'm currently unhappy with how I treat myself and want to spend a bit of time on the frivolous things after several years of hard slog. I'm also unhappy with how much I spend on useless fashion, when what I need is a streamlined wardrobe that works for me. I'm also doing life enhancing things like finding time to exercise, read good books, teach myself to cook Japanese food, learn tennis etc.

I do worry about my 5yo DD in all this too. I want her to see a happy mum. Not slim or fat, polished or not, but happy. I'm not entirely there at the moment and this thread is about some of the bits I want to try to get me there.

I take time for myself since becoming a single mum.
I used to be judged for having a day out or an hour reading etc
Now as they are with Daddy I have 'permission' to do this and find it liberating and relaxing.
Wish I had the balls to do it prior to being single

dontcry there is no need to justify your choices to me. I am extremely vain and (although I struggle with the ethics of it) love frivolous fashion. I am all for having fun with your appearance!

What I detest is the way the beauty industry is zoning in on our insecurities and selling us 'solutions' to problems that didn't even have a name 10 or 20 years ago. They're using more and more sophisticated ways of doing this. Even so, I wouldn't have a problem if it was making us all more confident and content with our looks but you only have to browse through S&B threads to see that we're just as insecure as we ever were and arguably more so.

In a way I feel lucky as they're not that interested in post menopausal women. (I guess we're beyond quick fixes so there's no easy money to be made from us.) But I worry for girls and young women and increasingly, as toopsie points out, young men too.

Oh wow, this thread is a revelation, have never heard of the acids mentioned. I better keep my eyes peeled :)

Retin A not harsh

It was an over the counter Retin A based product (not even the full thing) that nearly did for my skin a couple of years ago. It may be effective (arguably the only anti ageing product that is) but there's a good reason why it's prescription only. I would go very carefully if you have sensitive skin.

Fabulous thread. I too am the wrong side of 40 and life has definitely taken a toll on my face and body.

I really really need to lose weight but am just not sure how to do it. I think I eat healthy enough but I eat far too much.

My helpful hint for the thread is to get your make up professionally done. I have worn make up since my late teens and have always loved it. I wear it to please myself not others. But I had failed to update my look sufficiently as I got older. Having my make up done at 40 was an eye opener (and really good fun). New techniques, new products, a whole freshen up for my face.

Although be warned, some friends went to have theirs done with another salon and looked awful (blow up doll was mentioned), so it really depends on where you go.

I'm in NI if anyone wants to know where I went.

Floisme - not trying to justify, but trying to explain that this is one thing amongst many that I'm trying to do for myself. It's easy on S&B to be skewed into thinking everyone is obsessed with how they look and that is depressing. In actuality for most people our age, it's just a healthy percentage of our lives.

TBH I think teens have it harder now than we did but will still come through it too with time and maturity.

I cannot recommend highly enough refusing to buy women's magazines though. It's all PR/advertising linked. I read a handful of newspaper beauty columns to get some not-always-PR info and that is enough.

Oh I love womens' magasines, don'tcry - particularly all the adverts for anti-ageing products, they're a hoot

Thanks for this thread - I'm very similar to you, 40 next year, 3 DCs 8 & under & work full time & so the tips on this thread are great .

Just wish I could get up earlier to exercise first thing (would need to get up at 5am) as I really struggle in the evenings to get motivated & therefore only really exercise at weekends.

I had my make up "professionally" done at a MAC counter recently. I asked for subtle.asked about colours that would suit. She left me looking like a clown. My 9 year old daughter could have done a better job!

If used slowly and correctly retin A is miraculous. It is the first time I have actually not felt ripped off. It may not work for everyone but if it does your quids in.

hackedoffnow I agree. I use it with no problem. I also use acids with no problem. These two things have made the biggest difference to my skin.

Yep big I often wonder if the reason they don't let it loose on the general public is because the whole beauty/ cosmetic industry would crash - too much money being made out of middle-aged women.

And yes combined (if tolerated) with glycolic acid is just incredible.

No, I think the reason they don't let it out is that they would get their arses sued by middle aged women with no skin left. If it works it's very effective but it can be very damaging if you have sensitive skin - and I wasn't even trying the real thing.

Yes you would have to sign a disclaimer before buying.

I'm not the the least bit jealous that it works for you, hackedoff